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mmresd · Oct 22, 2010, 12:43 PM

I don't know why I am this way, it may be because I am young (19) or maybe because I've always been a very sexually active person, but I have never appreciated the dating process in any relationship with any girl. I consider myself a lucky guy since I have never had problems talking to girls and I am a Gemini butterfly but when it comes to relationships I seem to always jump steps. It goes from meeting someone, getting a number, hanging out once, twice tops before taking it to the sac. And it seems like this bothers most girls since now they think that they can't be in a relationship with me because we decided to make things sexually too quickly. I am confused as to why I always feel the need to get laid when I have just met someone and then feel like it is my fault for ruining any sort of chance that I could have had at a relationship with a nice girl. Please, can someone attempt to open my eyes at what are the benefits of actually dating, and why I seem to not be practicing the whole courting process before getting intimate with someone?

JackVolver · Oct 22, 2010, 06:27 PM

Hey there!

You know, we could change lives for at least a weak, because I totally like the pre-time (the hunt) before a relationship, exceptionally when things get confusing like in my case. I love when I can't get a girl easy, when she's playing a little bit hard to get... it's so much fun, full of passion and everything man, it's like a good cold beer after a long work in a summer day; you will appreciate every single second of that, as if you can't get "laid" in days or hours or minutes, only after weeks or months of loving and caring only that girl :) I hate playing tactical, so I won't share even one of them but you can be damn sure that a lot of men would be in your place just right now ! Dating is another process, but pal, I swear you this whole lot of work that you invest in a woman will come back.
Just try to not having sex for four-five dates with one single girl. I think she will crawl for it (in Europe they do exactly the crawling momentum) and you will drive her crazy. Obviously you would tell her how beautiful etc. she is, but no sex. Search for a challenging girl, and make your way from zero to hero in her eyes! Don't push the sex until she will ask about that... she will drop her pants for you man.

Best Wishes!

beachloverjohn · Oct 22, 2010, 06:54 PM

It must be torture to be so irresistible. How do you manage. Listen, I have heard guys complain that they can't "score", but this is the first time I ever heard anyone complain about scoring so quickly and easily. What you can do is try dating a girl who actually has high standards and even higher morals, and maybe then you will get your wish, and not be treated as a "sex object". What you need is a girl who will actually make you earn her affections, and then you will find out what dating is all about. Until then , you will just have to suffer with living the life of a rock star. Poor guy..

Cat1864 · Oct 23, 2010, 07:11 AM

Dating is actually getting to know someone. It is more than just a desire to satisfy sexual desire. It is learning that you want to be with the person even if you don't have sex. Dating is along the lines of making a friend.

You are a young male. You are learning how to think beyond immediate needs such as sex. It will take work on your part to slow down and change how you see women and convey that change to them. Think of them as more than a body you want to get to know. Make dates where you can spend time getting to know each other.

Don't put yourself in situations that usually end in bed. Go out, drop her off, go home alone. It will take time, but you'll figure it out with practice and with learning how to choose women who want to get to know you.

If you have a reputation for being all about sex, it will take time for the ladies to see that you are changing and to give you chance. So practice patience, too.

mmresd · Oct 23, 2010, 09:41 AM

Don't get me wrong... is fun to get girls and get laid on a regular basis... but when you are not "with" a girl it really becomes monotonic and satisfaction from doing those things normally fades.

mmresd · Oct 23, 2010, 09:45 AM

Thanks for the advice :)

beachloverjohn · Oct 23, 2010, 11:24 AM

Here's how I see it. You want to know what the benefits are from dating. You are already getting them, and you don't even realize it. You are only 19, and having a good time. Eventually you will decide it is time to settle down, maybe in about 5 to 10 years. Then you will become involved with someone that sex will only be part of your relationship. You will want to spend time with this person doing other fun things.

So when you meet the right girl, you will find out the real benefits of dating. And that would be you get to spend the rest of your life with the same person, and to live your life with a ball and chain wrapped tightly around your neck. Only kidding, you get to raise a family of your own and go into debt, and live from paycheck to paycheck while your screaming nagging wife complains everyday about what a loser you are and she could have married money, and she always has a headache, etc, etc. Hmmm, maybe you should {like the saying goes} be careful what you wish for.