[happy2003]

My boyfriend and I recently became engaged and are getting married shortly. The problem I am having is his dog. We are looking for a place to rent because buying a home right now is out of our reach for at least a year I have a small Boston Terrier that most places in the area do not mind having with an extra pet deposit. The problem is his dog. She is a 60 pound mixed breed who he rescued last year. She is sweet, loves everyone, very well trained and my fiance's 5 year old adores this dog. The problem is we can not find any place decent who will rent to us with a 60 pound unknown breed. The places that will are either disgusting, dirty, and dated or way out of our price range. Our budget is on the higher end of rental properties in our area and can get us into a very nice, affordable place so we can start saving for a house, except that they won't take the dog.

I love my fiancé and his son so dearly. I have sacrificed a lot to be with him and I have accepted a child, a crazy ex with drama and all the new responsibility of being a stepmom. Strangely, I can accept all of that without even thinking... but I'm really beginning to resent this dog. I have a really nice apartment right now, with nice things that I have worked hard for and accumulated over the years. I work in a high stress environment, and I love to go home at the end of the day and feel comfortable and at home. The possibility of moving into a slum to keep a dog angers me to no end.

To my fiancé getting rid of the dog is out of the question. He promised his son before we met that he would never give away another dog. After his separation the family dog had to be given away for the same reason, it was a large dog and could not live in an apartment.

I need help... the dog isn't going to go anywhere... How do I cope with this animal? How do I accept that my standard of living is going to decease because of this situation?

[dhuber]

I have never heard of an apartment asking for a pet deposit on a small dog but not allowing the big dog. Either it's all or nothing. You have to accept your s.o. with all the frills I know you want to get rid of the dog but if he is not going to that is the answer. If he is, try to find a loving home and they may help him make the transition. Pet owners often feel guilty when they have to give them away. Look into options that would offer the dog a happy life like adopotions or fostering. If he is iven an option that makes for a happy dog he may change his mind. You also have to offer a solution for the child. Can you offer the child a pet that is manageable. If all else fails you have a decision to make and it is silly to break up over a dog. Make sure if that happens he is totally their responsibility because that will make the situation worse. Good luck

[Cat1864]

I am wondering how realistically you have been looking at this relationship. You mention what you like at the end of the day and it does not sound like a house with a five year old child with or without a dog.

I understand the issue with trying to find a place that will take dogs in general and that larger dogs tend be shunned. Been there. Made living choices based on who would allow us to keep the three dogs we owned at the time. I know it is easy to get caught up in looking in only one area or through certain papers, etc. and almost miss the hidden treasure.

Sometimes, you have to look beyond the surface to see the potential in a place. Could some of these places that you have looked at be brought up to 'your standards'? You say 'dirty' and 'outdated' as though those conditions can't be changed. Other than that are they in the area that you want? How does your fiancé feel about them? How would they do for a growing boy?

[answerme_tender]

I have mixed feelings on this. I agree that everyone wants a nice place to live and to be able to enjoy the items that have purchased. However, you are dealing with a 5yro child who loves his dog.
Also you have a well behaved dog, who is loving, and yet you are thinking about getting rid of it because its size. The dog can't help that, you fiancée knew how large it would get.
This little boy might really resent the entire relationship if you get rid of his dog, and yet keep yours!!

[talaniman]

I read your other posts, and you must realize there will be many compromises to your life style when you marry a fellow with a 5 year old, and a dog.

My solution rent a house, so everyone can have an area.