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Lollipop87 · Oct 21, 2010, 07:20 PM

He watches a lot, had hundreds on his computer and watches sites. He denies looking at it until I'm screaming at him in tears begging him to stop lying to me. I don't mind him watching normal porn but he seems to know a lot about the different types of animals sleeping with woman. Our sex life isn't as good as it used to be, but I know he watches this daily. He agrees that it's not right but still can't help himself. We recently went away on holiday, and as he'd not been able to
Watch it, our sex was better. Surely he'd rather not ware himself out with the animal and violent porn so much to make our sex life better? What should I do?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 21, 2010, 07:30 PM

See if he will get professional help for his addiction.

See if he will allow a porn blocker to be put on his computer.

Or learn to baa like a sheep perhaps

Clemintine · Oct 21, 2010, 11:07 PM

If he loves you he would stop watching it and not sacrifice the health of your relationship!
If you love this guy and he loves you think of asking him to see a professional about his obsession with this porn...
Leave him if he won't even try, it's not worth your sanity to give and give in the relationship and not have any effort from his half...

dhuber · Oct 22, 2010, 07:23 AM

If he can't stop that reaches the level of an addiction. Besides it is a very weird kind of addiciton. He really needs to see somebody this doesn't sound like a typical fetish. It concerns me that it interferes with your sex life. The definition of addiction is that it interrupts another area of your life. The word compulsive comes to mind (I am a therapist). He really needs to see someone before it affects your relationship any more

Cat1864 · Oct 22, 2010, 08:26 AM

How old are both of you?

Do you live together?

If he lies to you and you don't trust him, end the relationship now. It won't matter what subject matter he is looking at if you are reduced to playing detective to make certain he isn't looking if he did profess to stop.

Even if he stopped today, you would still be wondering if and when he would break down and look again. Any time the sex wasn't what you thought it should be, you be questioning whether he was lying to you again. Can you live with that? Can you allow the hurt to subside and not bring it up every time something went wrong IF he did try to get help?

Many people who destructive habits/addictions will not attempt to break them until they have to face the full consequences of their actions. You can't make him change, love cannot make him change, nothing can make him change until he really wants to and is willing to do the hard work to make the change stick.

The only person you can change is yourself. Are you going to keep screaming and begging, are you going to give him an ultimatum and stick to it, or are you going to walk away and heal?