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VRon1 · Oct 18, 2010, 04:13 PM

I really like this guy; (but when everyone asks why I can't come up with an answer) we've been friends for a year now and only started having sex about three months ago. We're in college and we agreed to be friends but we're sex buddies. Should I continue having sex with him and hanging out with him even though I may end up really really liking, or even loving him? How should I approach this topic with him?

Enigma1999 · Oct 18, 2010, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by VRon1

I really like this guy; (but when everyone asks why i can't come up with an answer) we've been friends for a year now and only started having sex about three months ago. We're in college and we agreed to be friends but we're sex buddies. Should i continue having sex with him and hanging out with him even though I may end up really really liking, or even loving him? How should i approach this topic with him?

Does he want to move forward in the relationship? Or is it friends with benefits that he wants?

I see nothing good coming out of this. I see heart break here.

If it were me, I would stop having sex with him. To me though, I can't have sex with someone I'm not in love with. It would confuse the situation.

However, there are plenty of people who can just have sex for the sake of sex. If you are one of those people, then more power to you.

If you aren't and you are afraid of falling in love with him, then I would stop.

rebeccahstrean · Oct 18, 2010, 04:28 PM

What you should do is sit him down and tell him how you feel about him. If he doesn't feel the same way about you then you need to tell him that this is it. You can't have sex with him any longer. The only way that I would tell you to stop hanging out with him or stop talking to him is if you can't be around him with out having these feelings. Know what I'm saying? But yes even in a friend relationship... you need that communication.

VRon1 · Oct 18, 2010, 04:28 PM

The problem is that I already may love him and I'm afraid to bring the topic up because I know I need to end it. I just don't know how to start the conversation. Ideas on that?

Enigma1999 · Oct 18, 2010, 04:36 PM

Have you asked him if he wants to be more than just friends?

I wouldn't say the "L" word, because you don't even know if he wants a relationship with you, other than just sex. I realize that you two are friends, but I'm talking about a loving exclusive relationship.

Start by talking to him.

VRon1 · Oct 19, 2010, 05:59 PM

We have this friendship, a good sex life, and I have these strong feelings for him. But I told him, today, that I'm done because I don't feel that the feelings I have for him are mutual. I left the floor open for him to respond and all he said was, "no more sex?" After that comment/question I am confident I made the right decision but now he's all I think about. I know it'll take time to get over him but that's too long. Should I try again with him; give him another chance for him to tell his side?

General_Ameed · Oct 20, 2010, 05:56 AM

Absoulutley NO because he might be with u just to have sex since his words were "no more sex?" that means he is just using u as his sex doll (no offence)

dhuber · Oct 21, 2010, 01:30 PM

I agree that you should have been married. It sounds like he told you where hismind was. I don't usually believe in second shots. The same things that were there the first time are there the second time. You deserve better. The best thing for a bad breakup is meeting someone who wants to be with you like they want to be like you. Meeting someone interesting, caring, and committed is the best recipe for forgetting. Months from now you will realize going back is really settling for someone like him. Go out and meet Mr. Right not Mr. Right Now

talaniman · Nov 1, 2010, 05:21 AM

Leave him alone, and don't worry about what he said, or thinks now, just let yourself get over it, and move beyond it, because you will never trust his motives, and he had his chance to explain.

I would certainly give it whatever time it takes to heal before you get into a feel good rebound situation, and end up in the same boat again. Next time do a lot more talking, dating, and having fun getting to know a person before giving them your mind, body, and heart. Enjoy the freedom of being single before you get into anything intimate. What's the hurry, just take your time and do this right.