[huno]

Hello everyone,

In July I met someone whom I've been dating on and off. Every time we get together we have an awesome time, she's really into me and I'm really in her. There's mutual attraction and I feel like we can spend a whole day together and not get bored. Two weekends ago we went out and things were really great (lots of making out throughout the day, great conversation, etc.).

For the last month, things were really getting good and we'd been talking on the phone almost daily up until Wednesday the 6th, when she suddenly stopped answering calls and/texts. I tried to get in touch with her that Friday and Saturday and got no response, so I decided to back off until this morning. I called and got her voice mail; I left a message asking how she was doing and hoping everything was good. I got a text back saying something like, "I'm good, taking time off from dating, focusing on my own peace of mind. I'm just tired."

This leaves me a little confused, only because we were having such a great time before. Our dates were pretty simple things (going to the movies, museums, drinks, etc.) so I really don't think they were very high-pressure or high-energy events. So I'm wondering what this could be about, and how to handle it.

I want to keep seeing her; there's chemistry here and we always have fun, we have a lot in common and I don't want to let this go so suddenly. But if I hound her or pressure her into seeing me again, I'll probaby scare her off.

Has anyone ever dealt with this before (or, ladies, have you ever been the one to say something like this)? I think she has the impression that dating me is a high-pressure thing and it shouldn't be -- how do I go about making her feel more at ease and more relaxed about this?

[rebeccahstrean]

I have said something like this but that's cause I wasn't really attracted to the guy (emotionaly, mentaly, or phsyically) and I didn't really want to be with him. But maybe that's not the case here in this situation. Maybe she really just needs some time. I would give it about a week. Then write her a letter and put one rose on the envolope and stick in her mail box or in front of the door with her name on it. In the letter write about how much you loved spending time with her. Then tell her how you feel- like you said that you are confused... and that you really like her. But you have to know if she's really just need time to breathe or if she's just pulling your leg. Then sign it and put your number at the bottom and say P.S. I hope you liked your rose/flower.
That's how I would go about it. I would totally call you if you did that to me! I would tell you straight up what was going on with me. Try it see if it works:)

[answerme_tender]

Huno

Okay, this is kind of hard to explain, but here we go. Yes, she had fun, and enjoyed your company, but only to a point. She probably wasn't as into you as she lead you to believe. She might have wanted to develop more feelings for you, but decided that if they had not come naturally so decided to just call it quits before it got even harder for you.
You just need to move on, don't waste anymore time wondering. Im sure she knows your number if she should change her mind.

[talaniman]

She gives clear signals of backing away, and doing other things. Let her. It was fun while it lasted but didn't lead to where you wanted, so you leave her alone, and do other things like she is doing.

Not all dates lead to romance and everlasting joy, so bow out gracefully and keep your dignity and self respect. If she misses you, she will let you know.

[huno]

Ugh... this sucks because I've been doing a lot of 'dating' lately and she's the first person since my ex where I felt real chemistry, like things were finally starting to click. I thought I finally met someone I could really get into... but attraction isn't always reciprocal, I guess.

Moving on...

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.