[monkeyxxx]

This might sound like nothing but I need 2 clear my mind!!
I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 23 and we've been together for almost 2 yrs, we have had our problems and I'm not normaly a paranoid person but he recently got a job working behind a bar and he loves it but he works stupidly long hours and we don't get to see each other that much and at the moment I'm stuck at home as I had to take early maternity I'm 30 weeks pregnant but recently he seems distant and coming home later for example he was roaterd down to do a 7 12 the other day but didn't get home till after 2 and was quite snappy and their has been a few other similer times 2 all to do with times and him being a bit "off" with me like today he was on a 7-12 and then bck to do a 6-9 but I got a message saying he was staying all day and want be home till 10 which got me down a bit because feel like he dsnt want to be with me anymore and I no that he gets attention off girls while he is working and their all done up having a laugh and full of life not sat at home in their jammys and cover I'm worried he's getting bored of me please help

[Devorameira]

He's probably not bored with you. Your activities are limited right now, but he probably wants to still have a little life outside home.

Has he cheated on you in the past or has he done something in the past that makes you think you can't trust him?

If he has cheated in the past, I can see why you're concerned.

If he hasn't cheated in the past, then you probably need to continue trusting him until you can know otherwise. In that case I'd say you've probably just got way too much time to think since you're on maternity leave and with those raging hormones, even petty things can seem huge.

[monkeyxxx]

Hey he hasn't cheated but a yr ago he started telling another girl at work that he wanted to be with her and sleep with her and was going to leave me for her but then he backed out when I found out and we sorted it I've found it hard 2 trust since then though

[KoolAide187]

Talk to him about it. Women are not the only people in the pregnancy who get stressed and depressed. Men also feel that way. I know I did. I felt an overwhelming stress feeling like I won't be a great father and I might not be able to take care of my baby the way I should because of the job I have. So many things could be going through his head. The working late hours might be to make up for the extra money you're not bringing in and the extra work could be causing him stress.

I wouldn't worry about the not seeing him as much as I would as worrying about how I treated him with the time I got to spend with him. One of the main things you both need right now is to sit down and talk out all your problems and worries. Just sit down and talk about things. You are both friends or else you wouldn't be in a relationship. Be friends and talk about your problems and concerns. If you're worried about him working so much talk to him about that. The number 1 cause of people fighting/splitting up is lack of communication. Work on your communication with each other and you can both work through these problems.

I can understand with you being pregnant you want your love to spend some quality time with you and just snuggle and all that good stuff. But you have to understand he is going through the same things you are. I can understand where you're coming from though. If you're stuck at home and can't do anything your mind wonders and it probably wonders quite a bit more knowing that he works in a bar.

I have an idea though. Is there smoking in the bar he works at? If not why not go up and spend some time with him there. I am sure he would be glad to see you. If there is smoking you may be out of luck on that. I wouldn't want you to expose your child to any second hand smoke. Anyway I hope some of these ideas help.

[monkeyxxx]

Thank you this helped and you are rite I think I'm worrying 2 much because of the past when I shouldn't... he is going to be a amazin dad and I constantly tell him that and I do no that his heart is in the rite place I'm just going to have 2 stop stressi

Ng and thank you again this really did help! :)

[Ash123]

I think he is being a bit immature.
I think you can sense he is a bit uneasy with the reality around him and escaped to the bar. You need to talk and say you trust him and love him, but please don't forget you have a pregnant partner at home and you both will be better of if you go through it together... so, both can be strong.

Why are you not married if I may ask?

[talaniman]

is my boyfriend bored of me?

No, you are bored with yourself.

[monkeyxxx]

What do you mean?

[monkeyxxx]

Yer I understand what you mean... were planning on getting married next year were just trying to get things sorted with the baby 1st and weddings can be so expensive... we are engaged and have been for just over a year

[Ash123]

Get your lives together. Communicate a lot and don't be scared to speak your fears I hope it works out.

[monkeyxxx]

Thank you

[marie34]

Hey honey I know exactly how you feel.iam so in love with my boyfriend and he is truly the best man that has ever came into my life.he works from 5 in the evening till whenever and at times I don't see him until 6am.and when he comes home he's off to bed and don't get up till around 2 or 3pm. But I have so much time by myself that I was feeling the same way you are.but I realized he's got a job to do and I need to understand.if he didn't love me and didn't want to be with me he sure doesn't have to be... but I'm the one he comes home to and I'm the one who's lucky enough to have his spare time.and you and your man is engaged so that means he loves you enough to marry you.. so just remember when you have all those crazy thoughts going through your head that its just too much time alone .you got to have trust if your going to have a relationship.so trust him till there's a reason not to okay.and remember now days true love is hard to find and your very blessed to have it.I hope this helps you good luck... and congratulations...