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Father_to_be · Oct 13, 2010, 02:29 PM

My ex girlfriend got pregnant, and I believed with all my heart it is mine.. and then she tells me hey well I cheated on you and the kid isn't yours, even after I showed her I was going to be there and support the child and that was 4 months into pregnancy. Now she's about 7 months and says the kid really is mine and that she was being selfish, and that she wants me to be in the kids life, and to support him. But she doesn't want anything to do with me, she's been with like 4 other guys since we broke up, and now she is back with a guy that used to hit her. I was really starting to hope that the kid isn't mine because I can't stand by and let her be with a guy like that while having my kid. She constantly threatens me whenever she gets mad, or cause she always wants to be right, it bothers me so much, it makes me want to do just that, give up my rights. But at the same time if I could I would be the sole guardian of the baby.

Father_to_be · Oct 13, 2010, 02:31 PM

My ex girlfriend got pregnant, and I believed with all my heart it is mine.. and then she tells me hey well I cheated on you and the kid isn't yours, even after I showed her I was going to be there and support the child and that was 4 months into pregnancy. Now she's about 7 months and says the kid really is mine and that she was being selfish, and that she wants me to be in the kids life, and to support him. But she doesn't want anything to do with me, she's been with like 4 other guys since we broke up, and now she is back with a guy that used to hit her. I was really starting to hope that the kid isn't mine because I can't stand by and let her be with a guy like that while having my kid. She constantly threatens me whenever she gets mad, or cause she always wants to be right, it bothers me so much, it makes me want to do just that, give up my rights. But at the same time if I could I would be the sole guardian of the baby.

Devorameira · Oct 13, 2010, 02:57 PM

Sure you're not liking her very well at this moment, but don't be intimidated into giving up your rights. If it's your baby, you have as much right to it as she does.
You may have to get a lawyer, but you can request paternity testing so you'll know for sure. Of course you will want to support the baby if it's yours - right?

Emona646 · Oct 13, 2010, 03:02 PM

Really sorry to hear this... but if you really are the farther then you have rights so stick with them! If you think YOUR child is in danger you have a right to at least get a custidy agreement or even guardianship. (this is what happened to me 2 but the guy only treatened my mum not hit her) I gruw up fine with a agreement between the parents. So if you still want to know this kid then do something about it!
P.S I know, I'm **** at spelling!
Hope this will help!
Best of luck. :)

cdad · Oct 13, 2010, 04:19 PM

Post moved to its own thread.

Jake2008 · Oct 13, 2010, 04:24 PM

Good grief, she's got you running faster than molases in January.

The only focus you should have is this baby. When the baby is born, petition the court to have a DNA test done, so that you will know one way or the other if you are the father. If you are the father, establish visitation/custody/support.

Start keeping a journal. Your ex girlfriend does not sound mature or stable enough to be taking on the responsibility of having a baby. Start keeping track of your concerns now, including the multiple partners who may or may not be the actual father to this baby. I suspect there will be a very complicated history with her, and because she is up and down and confusing you, you need to know where you stand, starting with paternity.

IF you are the father, the only relationship you have to have with her is a cordial one, in order to avoid possible problems in seeing your child. With child support and paternity established, she cannot, on a whim, change her mind and cancel visitation on you. You have equal responsibility, and share equally the raising of this child. If you have things tidy, legally, that will make your job of being a father, much easier.

Try not to get too emotionally attached (again) to her, because had a baby not come into the picture, you would have most likely been long gone. Try to separate yourself from the baby having to mean a relationship with her. At least until you know whether you are indeed, the father of this child.

If you are, I have to tell you that I like your attitude with regard to taking on this incredible role, if you are the father. Many would have run.

AK lawyer · Oct 13, 2010, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Father_to_be

My ex girlfriend got pregnant, and I believed with all my heart it is mine.. and then she tells me hey well I cheated on you and the kid isnt yours, even after I showed her I was going to be there and support the child and that was 4 months into pregnancy. now shes about 7 months and says the kid really is mine and that she was being selfish, and that she wants me to be in the kids life, and to support him. but she doesnt want anything to do with me, shes been with like 4 other guys since we broke up, and now she is back with a guy that used to hit her. I was really starting to hope that the kid isnt mine because I can't stand by and let her be with a guy like that while having my kid. She constantly threatens me whenever she gets mad, or cause she always wants to be right, it bothers me so much, it makes me want to do just that, give up my rights. but at the same time if i could I would be the sole guardian of the baby.

You forgot to ask a question. :)

First thing you should do, after the baby is born, and in light of her inability to make up her mind, is ask her to submit the baby to a paternity test. It's a cheek swab- painless, non-invasive, and only costs a few hundred bucks. Offer to pay.

Then, if it turns out positive, get a court-ordered custody, visitation, and support decree. That way your rights and obligations will be clear.