[toni2010]

Hello all,

HELPPP me please!!
I am so confused, I just do not understand my ex boyfriend crazy mind! We were together for 4 years, he broke up with me earlier this year because he said he 'did not love me', in other words he never tried to love me, was not romantic or anything. I gave this guy my all, 100% supportive, loyal, and faithful, I was a true woman to him, but like most he did not appreciate it. Anyway, I told him that we should cut all contact, I attempted the NC rule on many occasions but he would always turn up at my house or call, he says he does not want to lose me as a friend (in other words I think he wants me as a backup plan). He has got me angry and upset many times, and I have often said very bad things to him, so I am still surprised why he speaks to me? I don't really see him that much because I try keep my distance but when I do he tries to cuddle me or hold me close, then he will quickly move away and remind me that we 'just friends' when its him that is cuddling me, I wonder if he is mad sometimes lol.
Anyway, he booked a holiday for us a few months ago, when we were not together... and he still wants to go away with me but keeps saying 'it's just friends, strictly friends', DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE IS PLAYING AT, OR ADVICE PLEASE I AM CONFUSED. I do not understand why you would want to go away with you 'annoying' ex girlfriend... especially as friends?

[I wish]

Here's an easy way out for you: "STOP PLAYING ALONG WITH HIS GAMES!!!"

[answerme_tender]

Your certainly letting him hold all the cards. He probably booked this trip with another woman in mind, but for whatever reason she backed out. So he went with Plan B, oh that would be you. He doesn't even hesitate to do this because you have NOT put a stop to being his back up. Why, because you still have hope that he will want you back permanently. If he hasn't done it by now he NEVER will. Aren't you worth more then just some guys Plan B? I would not answer the door if he shows up at your place, change my number, let my friends-family know that he is not WELCOMED to be around you.
This situation comes down to you making choice and sticking with it. No Contact period, or continue being his other option, and stop complaining about it.

[dhuber]

You have a guy who likes to play games - not a boyfriend or a friend. Even a friend wouldn't treat you that bad! You are allowing behavior that your close friends would not dish out. You need to find yourself confidence and not take it from him. As long as you allow him to play with your emotions he will (that includes on vacation). He is not respecting your feelings and therefore should be nothing to you - forget friend or lover. How about exfriend, ex lover. NO VACATION Find a friend that enjoys your company enough to have it be a pleasant experience. You need someone as loyal as you. Don't not indulge in any behavior that leaves the door open for any invitation that this includes touching. Let him move on and tell him so. When we as women stay in a relationship that doesn't work, we are not open to one that does work.

[talaniman]

DUH!! If he goes as a friend, he can still try to get in your draws because who else will you know and spend time with??

Just say NO, and stop talking to this fool.