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Ava1122 · Oct 1, 2010, 09:59 PM

I have been carrying an old baggage for two years and It seems I don't know how to let it go. I dated a guy for six years and he dumped me for another girl. I spent the last year in a half trying to get over it. Then one day, I met an amazing man, who I love very much. He and I have been dating for going on a year now. I am slowly getting over my ex boyfriend but then out of nowhere. I ran into my ex boyfriend's brother rather he ran into me. Keep in mind, I have not spoken to my ex for over two years. Before I ran into his brother I bumped into his family members frequently. Fast forward, he and I finally met up face to face. He apologize for breaking my heart, and for being cruel. He is sort of still seeing the girl except he had sex with two other girls within the two years of their relationship. Instantly I assumed my troubles were over and I could finally put my mind at ease. I don't feel I am at peace. I feel like a solider who was been at war for two years and the war is over. I am left with a question "What is next?" I am worried because we are friend at a distant. I realize we are actually pretty decent friends, I guess. We don't talk to each other that often but I feel like something is missing.

joypulv · Oct 2, 2010, 02:02 AM

You spend one sentence on the 'amazing man' you are currently in love with, yet this is all about the ex. I think maybe you aren't done with the hurt you felt about how cruel the breakup was, not that you are still in love. He apologized, but did you get to say how you felt, how much he hurt you? Hurt like that should lead to a healthy amount of anger. The anger will make you realize that you didn't deserve to be treated that way, and you will be able to move on. Tell him he was awful. Let it out, without going beserk. Plus, why's he telling you the number of women he slept with since you? And 2 of them while still 'sort of' seeing the woman he left you for (she probably is dumping him, or he is never satisfied with who he's with).
Sounds like a jerk.

talaniman · Oct 2, 2010, 07:18 AM

Something is missing. You are trying to be friends with a cheater that hurt you, and it still hurts, and you are reminded of that hurt all the time. So he apologized, so what, leave him alone, and close the door on that part of your life. You don't have to be friends with a cheater that betrayed you, that's crazy, especially since you know he is still a cheater.

Now let that baggage go, and don't be distracted by those old feelings, so you can enjoy the wonderful new guy you have been seeing for a year. Then you don't have to wonder what's missing from this unhealthy, forced, so called friendship.

Just so you know, whats missing is TRUST, FAITH, AND CONFIDENCE IN HIS WORDS, AND ACTIONS!!!!

vanheart · Oct 2, 2010, 08:19 PM

Sounds like you never healed from your breakup before you got into another relationship.

Not fair to your current boyfriend. Don't ruin this one because of you ex that dumped you. After all, its been 2 years.

Get it through your head the your ex is an ex.

Don't be his friend. That'll only lead to heartache & trouble. That includes his family.