[Homegirl 50]

Get an order for the visitation rights for your son and leave her to grow up and fend for herself.
She is obviously very immature.
Don't feel guilty. She is who she is so take care of you and her son. Let her parents co sign on a car for her. You have no other financial obligation to her but support for your son.
She does not sound to responsible as a mother so I'd keep my eyes open on that front as well.

[josh284]

This is actually getting funny... I told her I was going to find her a call this morning... she said she wanted to give imput... never called me back or anything. I found a decent car for a reasonable price 5K with reg. taxes, etc. Tried to call her to get her info.. no response, no text back, nothing. I think she's just trying to extend the oppottuniy to use me.. This is very embarrassing to say the least.

[Homegirl 50]

Don't get embarrassed, get mad. Mad enough to stop letting this woman child run your life.
Cut her off financially. You have no responsibility to her. She left you because she wanted to play. Let her play on her own dime and time. If she wants a fancy car let her pay for it herself.

[Just Looking]

In the long run you would be doing her a favor to cut her off. It's time for her to grow up and see how the world works, not be coddled by a man who is trying to do the right thing. Wouldn't you like a responsible mother for your child, not a user?

[Shadowburn]

This is actually getting funny... I told her i was going to find her a call this morning... she said she wanted to give imput... never called me back or anything. I found a decent car for a reasonable price 5K with reg. taxes, ect. Tried to call her to get her info.. no response, no text back, nothing. I think shes just trying to extend the oppottuniy to use me.. This is very embarrassing to say the least.

You should be embarrassed being taken for a ride, if you let her. She seems to be pretty naïve, so watch out, she'll date around and will have her fun and in 6 months time she will be back begging to have her beemer and a nice house and devoted man like you footing the bill back. She's been with you since she was what, 20 yo? She knows nothing about men and relationships and is acting like spoiled brat. I don't care how attractive she is (or she thinks she is) - gorgeous women are getting dumped by losers every day.

Seriously, there are women out there who would kill to have a man like you. Give them a chance:)

[josh284]

She was actually 18... I thought she was 21 because that's what her myspace said at the time. I found out a few days later but thought she was extremely mature and even my family and friends did and we dated for just over 4 yrs.. I love her family and thought it was just a perfect relationship and we had everything needed as far as support from our families, friends and enjoyed eachother's company.. I honestly thought I couldn't have asked for anything better.. she was a great mom, etc.. Ya, I feel like I'm totally being taken for a ride.. I've tried contacting her just to even see when she is picking up my son this evening so I can get my plans firmed up to get out of the house. No calls, no contact... nothing.

[Just Looking]

You might find her attitude changes if you stand up for yourself more. Don't let her take advantage of you. As someone else said, she is going to be sadly mistaken if she thinks she'll find other men as nice as you. You seem like every girl's dream, but she's just too immature to realize it.

Don't put your life on hold for her. Build your new life and let her work out her own problems. Make her be accountable.

[Homegirl 50]

She did not grow up. She was with you and having a baby and now she wants to play. I can understand that, but she has a child and had a man but her immaturity allows her not to care. Her anger with you is that she probably feels you cheated her out of the fun she should have been having when she was younger. I'm surprised everyone thought it was such a good idea. At 18, an 8 year difference is pretty big.
Nothing you can do about it now but let her grow up, but she does not have to abuse you while she does it. This situation is really kind of sad.

[josh284]

As nice as it is to think other women are interested in me but its just really odd to me so soon... I don't find any interest in any women as if I was single... wish there was this much interest when I was single back in my younger days. This whole thing just really sucks and now all I can think about is my son isn't going to have a mom and dad who live together forever like I've gotten from my parents... guess all things aren't perfect in life.

[Just Looking]

josh284 : I wish I was every girls dream. Lol. One thing is for sure... seems like most of the very attractive women you meet these days are all about the dinero and being taken care of. It's like they see me doing it for her and once were done they al movein

Maybe you are looking in the wrong places. I know you aren't ready for a new girlfriend now, but when you are think of someone more mature, settled, and independent - maybe a career girl.

Still, that's in the future. For now, you need to figure out how to get your life back on track and how to be happy again. That starts with putting your foot down to her demands.

[Homegirl 50]

She may have had morals but she was
18, to young to be tied down and now she wants to play.
Next time find someone closer to your age, this way you will at least be on the same page.

[josh284]

So get her a car or no car? I ask for my escalade back and she says no... and my spare key magically disappeared. I know if I just called it in things would get messy.

[Homegirl 50]

You tell her to bring your car back, if she does not return it, you will report it stolen. If things get messy, they just do.
You tell her she either takes the one you've decided to give her or she gets nothing.
She is acting out of character. Is she on drugs you think?

[josh284]

I don't know... I've been asked the same question on the drugs from a family member of hers.. I don't know... its almost scarry but I would hope so because if this is just her, she is just a horrible person with no remorse.

[Shadowburn]

You won't be a jerk for saying no.
You'd be a doormat for saying yes.

[kaka67]

She's too busy busy with the other guy to bother speaking to you about a car.

[mystific]

Josh you need to reinstate that spine I'm afraid to say. There is nothing she can do that you can't fight for. There is nothing she can say that you can't ignore.

Seal up that paperwork for you to be allowed access to your son.

Believe it or not we women are very resourceful when it comes to having nothing. When we need a ride somewhere, we get it. If it means taking a train, bus, taxi or walking we do what needs to be done. And if she has friends I've no doubt someone would take her somewhere if needed. And if your son needs to be somewhere for an appointment or what not I'm fairly positive you'd be there to take him.

Stop being her whipping post and stand up for yourself. I personally believe you've got it in you to do it, you obviously have a successful business, perhaps apply some of your business accumen to this.

Take back your control. She's sucking you back into 'her' vortex.

[josh284]

Well, things took a drastic turn yesterday... I told her I was taking my car back and id report it stolen if she left with it and id drive her up with my son to her parents.. she grabbed him from me and put him in a stroller and said she was going to walk home... which is about 12 miles and is pretty much a highway in the back country. I told her if she does I'll call the cops because that becomes a safety issue and id expect her to call the cops on me if I were to do something drastic like that.. so I called them.. she called her mom and her mom was mad.. even though I reached out to her earlier that night asking if she would come over and make sure her daughter didn't get out of control again but she said she was busy... since I didn't know anyone as embarressed as I was, I asked the neighbor to come over and she came up with her friend when she pulled up and was trying to walk home anyway.. back to the story. Her mom wanted to talk to me while we were walking up the road so I talked to her and explained.. she was mad and said I could have called her? Unreall... because I did. So then.. she grabbed the phone out of my hand while I'm talking to her mom and the phone hit my kid in the head... not hard but made him cry and he has no business being hurt or upset by these actions. She seems to be acting strickly on emotion... now she said she called the cops today and that Im unstable even though her parents asked me to ask her for full custody. Now she won't allow me to see him and her parents are allowing her to keep him from me until we get court papers filed. I'm at a complete loss of words. After that... I was super down.. some other neighbors heard about it and had me for dinner last night and colombian food and football today to get me out of the house since I have nobody... then the other nieghbor that helped last night as a witness brought me dinner tonight.. I can't even begin to say how thankful I am to have such nice neighbors I really never took the time or got the chance to sit down and talk with.

[Homegirl 50]

Sounds like this girl is on drugs and her parents might know it. That, or her world as she knows it is crashing in and she is not coping well.
I would file for full custody of your son. In the meantime document everything that has gone on.

[mystific]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Homegirl 50 again.

Absolutely agree document everything, pictures, statements the works cover yourself everywhere.

And be aware of the rank outsiding parents. They may agree with you but come the end of the day it's their grandson also... you just don't know where a curve ball may come in, she is their daughter.