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    Christina420's Avatar
    Christina420 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 29, 2010, 08:14 PM
    Why doesn't he talk to me?
    Okay, so this guy and I have been hooking up on and off for the past 2 years.. we don't always have sex. Sometimes he just wants to be with me, or hang out with me.. I don't hang out with him all the time.. I maybe see him once a week.. but when I'm not with him, he hardly texts me. Or doesn't respond... and when he does its random.. then he'll say he misses me n stuff, and well talk and joke around.. he doenst really talk to other girls.. like.. he has a problem getting girls, and I like him A LOT.. :D so it's a win/win either way.. I guess.. but I don't know about this.. any help would be nice.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #2

    Sep 29, 2010, 08:34 PM
    " so its a win/win either way"

    If that was the case then what's the question?

    I assume you both are young.

    Just have fun, have good friends & don't worry too hard. Be aware.
    Sounds like he's not too worried. Why should you?

    "i dont hang out with him all the time.. "
    Good plan.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
    		  
    #3

    Sep 29, 2010, 08:58 PM

    Hello Christina,

    Vanheart gave you good advice.

    Have you told him that you want to be in an exclusive relationship?
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #4

    Sep 29, 2010, 09:12 PM
    Never push.

    If its right you'll know.

    But don't spend your time wondering if its right or not or what's going to happen.

    That's time wasted.

    If there is one thing Ive learned.
    Its to not worry.

    Make sure the good always outweighs the bad. And keep that on a roll...

    (and not just with him, everything.)
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #5

    Sep 29, 2010, 09:16 PM

    Why not take the initiative and ask him out or contact him more frequently.

    If you are having sex, you should feel comfortable discussing the situation with him, especially if you want a relationship beyond 'friends with benefits'.
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #6

    Sep 30, 2010, 02:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Christina420 View Post
    Why doesnt he talk to me
    He does. Just not when or how you would like.

    And really why should he? Its not that you two are in a relationship where there are expectations of regular communication.

    If you want more from him then discuss with him the option of being in a relationship.

    If he doesn't want to then there's your answer. He'll call you when he wants.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 30, 2010, 08:22 AM

    On and off for two years, and you have sex, but don't talk about the two of you? Seems that you both are going along with a very casual friends with benefits thing, and you both must be happy with it the way it is, since neither of you has expressed to the other (at least you haven't disclosed it here), that they want more than they are getting.

    If you want more say so, why not? If you have questions ask, but be aware that it may lead to changes, either good or bad. Sometimes you have to shake things up, or rock the boat a bit, or things just stay the same, and NO progress good, or bad happens. That's the risk you take, we all do.
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