[diane68]

My 14 year old son refuses to go to school some mornings its impossible to get him out of bed please help I am a single parent

[joypulv]

Talk to the guidance counselor, and maybe some teachers and the principal, even if just to be on record that you are trying and are not a negligent parent.
Being unable to wake up range from simple to serious health/depression etc. The most common is that he's staying up until the wee hours! Does he have an iPod, stereo, computer, game boxes, comics and books and magazines in his room? Sit down calmly and explain how serious going to school is - it's REQUIRED, and that the electronics will be given away if he can't get out of bed. He's probably in puberty - any signs he's mooning over a girl or anything, or just sex in general? Try to get a feel for what is keeping him up at night without being invasive. Tell him you were 14 once yourself, that you love him, that you don't want to lose him for being a bad parent, and that you need him to help .

[Justwantfair]

I would definitely enforce an early bedtime if getting up in the morning is such an issue for him. He will either choose to get up earlier without the fight or an earlier bedtime with enable him to have a brighter start.

Health issues, drug use or emotional issues may also be at the root of the problem. Does he enjoy school? Does he feel bullied? As a single parent, does he care for himself in the evenings? Try discussing the issue in the evening when he is fresh. Do you have a good communication with him? What steps have you already tried?
Does he understand as a single parent he needs to do what he can to contribute to the home? Not make the home life more challenging? Some more background would be helpful. What do you believe the other issues are?

[mrshodges]

Check and see if it is an emotional issue and if not it is time to put your foot down. Now, I understand I am a little stricter than some with that said, the first time he refused or told me "no" I would bust his butt. After that I would take away everything he owns and every privilege he think he has until he realizes that until he is out of my house he will do what ever I say. School isn't something to mess with. As a parent you can be held responsible for his actions or in this case in actions. People with out a basic college education do not make it very far in today's world. It is not your job to be his friend right now that will come later. Right now your only concern is that you have provided the skills needed to make him a successful member of society. Believe me he will thank you for it later when he has a good life.

[Longshadow]

You can try everything I did,and hopefully your child is not as far gone as mine.But yes, it is easier said than done. I have taken the x box away from my 15 year old, drives to the snowboarding hill, computer access and everything else I can think of. My son simply thinks he is a punk who doesn't have to listen to me or any one of authority or rational influence any more now that he has his "homies". Most of the friends he picked up in his first year of High School are under the care of C.A.S. and have now quit school. It does not matter what incentives I have given him, or rational explanations on why he needs his education, and at least a grade 12. I have brought in children's mental health workers, child psychologists, the school, his family, children's aid and there is nothing that inspires him to go to school. I have even offered to take him down south when he finishes school with all of his credits in place. He has been told that here in Ontario you can not even get your full drivers license under a certain age unless you have your grade 12. In 2 weeks he turns 16 and says he is moving out and then no one can bug him to go to school or make him do anything else. I can't seem to do anything right in his mind, he curses me all of the time, has turned into the most verbally abusive person you can imagine. All I think I am capable of doing now is watching him crash and burn, and pray he does not pick up a meth or crack habit along the way.
What more can I do?

[Fr_Chuck]

My son (now 30) tried not to get up a couple times. A bucket of cold water dump on top of him, seem ed to get him out of bed very easily.

No Ipod, not computer, no cell phone, all seemed to get their attention if they failed to listen.

[tickle]

Where does it say that you can't get a drivers license in Ontario without a grade 12 education? Entirely false long shadow. It is 16 to learn and 17 to get a full license in most provinces including Ontario.

I hope he can. Probably independence will improve his attitude.

[J_9]

As this thread was from 2010, it is now closed.