[storm950]

Ive been with my fiancée for 3 years now, we are to be married in a few months, but lately it seems like she isn't into having sex anymore. I feel like I'm bugging her when I want to have sex, and she never instigates it anymore. When we first met we couldn't keep our hands off each other, and she wanted it more than I did. Now it seems I have to beg for it and then she just lays there or acts like it's a big ordeal for her to be on top. Every time I ask her if she's still attracted to me she says yes, and that she loves me. But her actions kind of seem different. Ive tried everything I can think of to spice up out love life. Nothing seems to help, it feels like the romance is dead...

[vanheart]

Have you talk to her about it?

Outside the bedroom?

Good thing resolve before you get married.

How to evolve that excitement. But more importantly, mutual understanding & goals.

Some say beggers can't be choosers.

[answerme_tender]

If she isn't interested in having intimate relations now, she may not after the wedding. I would postpone the wedding until you get some counceling. Becareful if you choose this, because she may just start faking it so you will proceed with wedding. There has to be a reason she doesn't want relations and its only fair to both to both of you to understand those reasons. Try talking to her about his, see if she is willing to get help, its nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck

[Enigma1999]

Hello Storm,

I agree with Answerme_tender. This is something that needs to be resolved before you get married.

Has something happened in her life that would change her behavior?

Is it only in the bedroom that you notice, or is she acting different every where else?

Does she hold your hand in public at the store? Do you two kiss while watching a movie on the couch? In other words, is there any other affection outside of the bedroom?

Have you sat down and talked to her? If so, what does she say about it?

Would the two of you consider counseling?

In the bedroom, do you ever please her first? Do you romance her before hand, or do you just get right down to it?

[talaniman]

Ever think she is attracted, but not interested in sex, because she has other things on her mind besides doing the wild thing? Maybe you should pay closer attention, and ask different questions, based on what's going on in your lives, before you get married, or you may be marrying someone who you can't talk to, and work together with, to resolve your issues, through honest communications.

Start better communications, and find out what's really on her mind, before you go any further, or issues will never be resolved.

[Romefalls19]

Well seeing as how I have only been married for a few months, I would say that an open line of communication outside of the bedroom leads to a more active role inside the bed room. You can't expect there to be boring small talk(or what I call filler) and then her to be in the mood. Emotional needs must be met in order for a lot of people to be in the mood.

I can't get in the mood when something is on my mind, people love to talk about their life, especially when their spouse takes a direct interest in it.

[storm950]

Hey I've tried talking to her several times about it... she just pushes away she subject. Apparently she wasn't on because when we first started dating and now she is, apparently that lowers most girl sex drive. So we are going to see what happens with that, she's going to try changing because.

[talaniman]

Now that's a start. Just take baby steps, and widen the net for conversation. You can't just hammer one point when there may be others to consider. And be patient and give her time to make adjustments.

[answerme_tender]

Does because stand for birth control? I will assume so for now. If this is what is cause of your problems, then why don't YOU step up to the plate and go get YOURSELF fixed, so she doesn't have to worry about how birth control effects her. It only takes one trip to doctors office for you!! Not to be harsh, but its either step up or put up! Good luck