[snilly]

My son is 32 and feels he can be rude to me. He & his wife very seldom see or call me. I have 3 grands by them (he's an only child) and I love them so much but I don't feel that they let me see them enough and they never encourage them to call me. I'll get more into rudeness if someone cares to answer me. Thanks

[J_9]

Okay, can you give more info? There is way too little here to really give a good answer. All we can do is assume, you know what happens when you assume don't you? ;) Well, we hate to assume here.

So, more info please.

[SINGLE4]

Hi snilly!

Do you ever call them or stop over to see them (not sure if they live that close)?

[CaptainForest]

I have to concur, you need to go into the “rudeness” in more detail.

Because that seems to be the focal issue of why your son doesn't seem to want a relationship with you.

[orbit]

Hi tell me more of the rudeness? Have you done anything in the past to make him mad? Be honest or else I can't help?

[Fr_Chuck]

And how often do they visit, how often do they call. How far away do they live. What are their ages.

I know as a husband and father and a gradfather. I have a job, and so does my wife, so every day after work, we go home, kids have homework, we have to fix dinner and so on. There is seldom time for much activities of going somewhere after work.

On weekends, there are yards to mow, activities for the kids, baseball or soccor and so on.

Families are not the same today as it was 50 years ago when mothers often stayed home and the such. So with that have you sat down and talked to them about it.

[s_cianci]

Does your son live nearby? 32-year-old men who are husbands and fathers are generally quite busy men. It isn't necessarily a sign of rudeness if he doesn't call or visit as often as you'd like, especially if you and he don't live in the same area. You can always call or visit him ; it's a two-way street. If there are other issues involved then you'll have to elaborate on those.

[JoeCanada76]

I see this kind of behaviour from my mother in law. Oh, the whole family has to follow her will. Everybody needs to listen to what she has to say, and if no one calls its my fault and how hurt she is by it. Yet, she is very controlling and wants things done her way and her daughter is always treated like a child and I am treated as an out cast. My wife, does not want that. Does not need that. Puts guilt trips and much more on her daughter. All it ends up happening is pushing her further away. That has been my personal experience.

YOU do not think they have enough time or visit you enough. Maybe there is good reason. There is a lot more to the story but your not willing to talk about it. You need to understand that they are together as their own family and they can stay in touch whenever they want. If it is not enough for you, your going to have to swallow it and love them when you do see them.

Joe