[snowsingle]

This is so hard and killing me , I volunteered to an association that cares for blind people and there I met a blind girl who became my best friend , then I met such a sweet guy who is also blind .
He is so sweet and smart and getting closer to me everyday, he didn't tell me anything yet , but it is so clear that he really likes me...
After a while my friend told me that he used to be so sweet to her and when she asked him if he loved her he said that he only thinks of her as a friend...
She still loves him... and I don't know my real feelings toward him , should I revenge ? Should I ask him about this whole matter?
What gives me great pain is that we went out more than once.. the 3 of us and he didn't feel guilty about putting her to such suffering...
What to do??

[Jake2008]

You are between a rock and a hard place aren't you.

Because your girlfriend actually came out and asked him if he loved her, and he honestly said he only thinks of her as a friend, it is clear and upfront, that nothing will develop into a relationship between the two of them.

Now that you have developed serious feelings for him, you need to ask him, as she did, if there is a possibility of a relationship between you and him.

That does not mean that there will be a relationship. It only means that you know where he's coming from, and what his intentions are.

If he isn't interested, and tells you the same thing as he told your girlfriend, then no harm is done, and you haven't lost, or gained anything.

If he is interested, then you have a serious decision to make. If you decide to have a relationship with him, it will most likely be at the expense of your friend. She may be able to accept you as his girlfriend, but, your relationship with her will not likely be as it was.

And, if he is interested, and you decide that you would rather lose a potential boyfriend, and maintain your friendship with your girlfriend, again, no harm done, because you have made an informed decision, before anything took off.

My advice to you, is to find an opportunity, and just get the words out there, and find out if he's interested. If he is, then think long and hard about what the potential consequences would be, and make your decision based on due consideration to what course of action you are most comfortable with.

[Cat1864]

She still loves him ... and I don't know my real feelings toward him , should I revenge ? should I ask him about this whole matter??
what gives me great pain is that we went out more than once .. the 3 of us and he didn't feel guilty about putting her to such suffering ....
what to do ??????

There is absolutely nothing to get 'revenge' for.

He was honest with her when asked if he cared about her. She can't help how she feels. He can't help how he feels.

It is her decision to go out with the threesome as it is his decision and yours. If she is uncomfortable with it, she has the choice of not going. So do you.

No, you should not ask him about their relationship. It is between them not the three of you.

You can ask him what his feelings for you are, but if you do not share them (IF they are romantic in nature), be as honest with him as he was with her and let him know you like him as a friend. You DO NOT lead him to believe otherwise in a misguided attempt to right what you see as a wrong.

I think you should keep the relationships on a friend level because I think that is where they are meant to be. IF you can't handle being friends distance yourself from them.

[beachloverjohn]

You volunteered to take care of blind people. That really should be your only function. You should not be romantically involved with anyone that you help because your "job" is to care for them. Certainly you can be friends with people there, but you should maintain some dgree of professionalism, even though you are just a volunteer. So be supportive of your friend, but stay away from the romance. Another words, stay in a neutral position, and you won't alienate anyone.

[Jake2008]

Had to spread the rep, John, but that is a very, very good point.

She is a volunteer, and likely a good idea to keep a social life separate from romance.

It would be perhaps a different story, if she chose not to be in a volunteer capacity.