[Homegirl 50]

I find the woman to be selfish.

my gf says that my daughter is my only concern when she is around and that i make extra effort with my daughter and not her ,
That is childish. He sees this woman every day.
Yes he should talk to his girl friend, let her express her feelings. But ultimately she has to decide if she wants to be with a man who puts his young child first.

[JudyKayTee]

I find the woman to be selfish.

my gf says that my daughter is my only concern when she is around and that i make extra effort with my daughter and not her ,
That is childish. He sees this woman every day.
Yes he should talk to his girl friend, let her express her feelings. But ultimately she has to decide if she wants to be with a man who puts his young child first.

And I find no fault with a woman who decides she wants a man's undivided attention and does not want to share him with children if she realizes that, says so from the beginning and then moves on before the children are adversely affected.

Maybe it's being selfish or childish, maybe she is just being totally honest. Some people don't want to raise children, their own or someone else's.

I think the girlfriend and OP have to look at the situation and decide where to go from here.

I think we're all on the same page here.

[frangipanis]

Umm.. how do you get out of the box that limits your response to 250 words?:) syntax and style? Barrelling her up against the wall and calling her a spoilt brat could actually work for its dramatic effect-talking quietly to resolve issues is an option

[frangipanis]

I meant characters!!

[burnt_sienna]

Someone said:

"What your girlfriend needs to realize is that your daughter is your first priority, and always will be. The girlfriend comes second. That's the way it should be, and if she can't realize that, she may not be the one for you."

Ok... assuming you love your girlfriend, and are planning to make her your wife and live with her for the rest of your life, both she and your daughter are equally important to you. Your daughter should be given everything a father could possibly give and your GF/life-partner should be given everything a life partner could possibly give. That said, BOTH ARE PRIORITIES. Do not label one "number one" and the other "number two". That just sets you up for disaster. Both are people you love, and both should receive all the love you can give.

The girl friend DOES NOT come second. If you do that, then the relationship won't last.

Too often people mock the GF (in this situation) calling her immature and selfish, when really it's a difficult situation to be in, and actually takes a lot of courage and getting used to.

My advice to you is to talk to your girlfriend and try to appeal to her better side.

If she really hated your daughter, she wouldn't be around. The fact that she's around means she hasn't gotten to the point where she has fully accepted it. She's trying to get there... and she's probably putting a lot of effort into it. Maybe you should help her get there. She's failing at it, but she must be trying. Why else would she stick around?

She must feel you're worth it. And if she feels that way, then maybe she's worth it too.

Good luck with your situation.

Hope this helps.