[KBC]

YoU thInk You siCK but Not. You sUFfer From HypoConDRiasIS. MakE chANGE, Make YOurSElf FeeL BettER, Do SOmetHING new anD StoP EXPecTinG oTHER to DO it.

Thank you for adding carlos.

Can you please use capital letters at the start of words and lower case for the rest of the words, we do not do chat speak here.

Thank you again.

[Jake2008]

Spiral bound,

I don't know what you expected in an online forum with complete strangers. Addressing the serious issues you are facing is beyond what anonymous people can do, no matter how well intentioned.

You are in serious trouble here, and if you are actually taking pills with booze, and intending to end your life, please call 911. Please. A few seconds to press those numbers, and you will be on your way to feeling better. You don't need to do anything else except concentrate on getting to a phone, and making that call.

Put everything else out of your mind, and concentrate on undoing what you have done- right now. You have options, there is hope, you can work through this, just make the call.

Your history has gone on far too long for any of us to properly address, assess, or treat you. Speaking with a Psychiatrist and being assessed is a must. That is the only way to get out of this situation you are in.

Please, get help immediately.

[Wondergirl]

Yea go ahead and close the tread we are done here.

You finally have the chance to accomplish something big in your life (with our help of course :D), and you're going to dump us??

Would you rather have a chocolate caramel ice cream cone? I'm thinking of making one for myself. Want one?

[JudyKayTee]

Judy the military isn't involved becuase I don't want them to be involved, mental issues tend to be career ender's amongst army officers. I am still in college this will be my 5th year, due to classes I failed last semester, yes I was supposed to graduate may of this year, not march (typo). So yes I am still in college and the reason I failed classes last semester, is starting all over again, not going to class and not doing my work. If I would have passed all my classes last semester I would have graduated been commissioned as an officer, and going to aviation school to fly helicopters.

So basically what I have done with my life so far is make it into a good school, make it into a very competitive ROTC program giving me close to 250k in college tuition, had a 3.7GPA going into last semester (now its 3.2 after my 1.4GPA last semester), got into the most competitive branch in the military (aviation), been through both Air Assault and Airborne schools, received the highest marks at LDAC. I have gone overseas for language training another very expensive program paid for by the army. I while I was doing all that I really didn't care about it, I look back now and think big deal. I wish some one who would appreciate where I am at right now would take my place.

Now I am at the last stage the easiest part of my college career the very end where I saved the easiest classes so I could have fun in my last few months of school, and I don't care, I was given a second chance becuase I had such a good track record, but I am messing that up too. If I quit school I have a military commitment so I would have to enlist, or pay back all the money I received from the army. So it is either succeed this semester (which is starting to look very bad), leave the country or kill myself.

Take your religion and go to someone who wants to hear your lies. I grew up in a Mennonite community, I went to church 3 times a week and graduated from a christian high school. That is where I became an atheist. On the other hand admitting the very very small chance that there might be a god or the like, if it was somehow able to be proven I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself right now. No one should live in a world where there is something of a god.

I'll address the last paragraph first - I'm not the person who suggested religion. I'm not saying it's a good, bad or indifferent idea. I'm saying it wasn't my suggestion.

As far as being active military, didn't you say this in June 2009: "I am already active duty, I am required by law to disclose all hospital visits but that doesn't mean I will. As for your other comments I am an officer ..." The question at that time was whether someone who is a better "solider" than others would lie to the military about health issues.

There have been multiple discrepancies in your various threads and I, for one, am having a difficult time sorting the truth, half truths and totally untrue.

You've posted your mental health problems several times. You've been given suggestions, none of which are acceptable to you for one reason or another.

I would suggest that you post the truth and let someone with some experience try to help you again. The same people who are attempting to help you now came to the conclusion that you are a pathological liar in June 2009. I'm not sure.

I've been sucked into this scenario before -

[Fr_Chuck]

Honestly the safety of others in the school and most certainly in the military are at risk if someone with these issues does not seek professional help.

It shows a direct lack of character and most certainly not someone I want in my military and not someone I want put in a high stress area of the military.

Time of "POOR ME" is over, you need a kick in the rear to either get help or at least get out of the program you are in.
( well if you keep failing that will be the easy part since you will not get to stay in the program if you keep fialing)

So get help, use a fake name and pay cash, the important thing is to get help. Once you are thinking straight, the rest will take care of itself.


As a Air Force officer ( retired, reserve) and as someone who worked for the Justice Dept, you will never progress into high risk and security areas that require levels of mental health evals. And most likely your behavior once in AIT and training will be vary obvioius to the CO whose job it is to cut people who are not making it.

Also to be honest I feel a real obligation to the military, and honestly to you to see that you get enough help.

A copy of this and other posts will be forwarded Monday morning to the Commander of ROTC programs so they can perhaps at least use more personal force to help make you get the help you need.

[Jake2008]

Had to spread the rep Chuck, but I also agree. There is a clear consequence to his actions and behaviour on others- military, or family, or whoever is in his life. Whatever that life may be.

Maybe he will come back and face the challenge of separating what's real and truthful, to what is not.

[Kitkat22]

Frankly I feel the OP is not fit for the Military. I sure would be very uneasy if he had to go into a war zone with his attitude. If he doesn't
Care anything about himself, he sure as heck wouldn't care about fellow soldiers. You are whiner and everything you have written is "me, me, me"
So you don't like the way you feel? You don't want to change and the only reason you don't is you like being miserable. You hate your background and for the life of me I don't know why. The Mennonites are good people.

You whine and you cry and you say you want to stay in the Military. Just in case you don't know ths... Strong People are the ones who make it in the service. You don't want help, you throw any mention of any kind of help back at anyone who gives you advice. You say you are going to kill yourself? Cowards do that. Cowards who can't handle anything if it's not the way they want it to be. It takes GUTS and COURAGE to stay here and face life.

Go to a Military Hospital and see some of our troops who are lying there.
That's guts. They may be amputees or worse, but they are so glad to be alive. Ask a mom or dad who have lost a child in the war how they feel about life. It's precious. You do not need to be in the Military because you are coward and I doubt you'd put yourself in harms way for anyone.:mad:

[JudyKayTee]

And I wonder when people post these "suicide" threats if they realize that caring people are on this Board, people who then have trouble sleeping, worrying and wondering if they said the right thing, the wrong thing?

OP should be ashamed of himself but I get the feeling he is so out of touch with reality that he's not.

[Wondergirl]

And I wonder when people post these "suicide" threats if they realize that caring people are on this Board, people who then have trouble sleeping, worrying and wondering if they said the right thing, the wrong thing?

The opposite is also true. When someone cries "Wolf" again and again, we stop caring, and that's not good for him OR for us. Spiralbound wasn't interested in our offers of help or even in a chocolate caramel ice cream cone. That certainly said something.

[morgaine300]

your going to fail at getting me to change my mind.

Hmm. I'm trying to figure out how this suddenly became the responsibility of everyone here when you came here already this way. It wasn't anyone's responsibility to change your mind, only to try (keyword: TRY) to help you find a way to change your own mind. It's OK to need other people, and OK to need someone else to help you find your way. It's even OK to have to rely on other people sometimes. But none of those people are the cause of the problems you came into this with.

I've had plenty of problems in my own life, including having to accept "mental" problems that were actually physical and made me feel I wasn't in control. (I have anxiety issues, cause by something chemical and also genetic, and it took me a long time before I could openly say that to other people.) Anxiety can cause depression as well. So I actually understand a lot of this.

But you kind turned me off with that last statement. Most people who announce they are now killing themselves aren't really looking to die, and most people who really just want to die aren't busy telling other people that they failed - they're usually turned very into themselves.

So I for one, think you are either lying... or that you announced your suicide cause you really want saved - but we're on the other end of a computer. If you really did want saved, you need to be on the phone.

[Kitkat22]

I don't think he'll be back. I think he's too mad at the advice.

[morgaine300]

I'm sorry, but I really have to address a couple of things here.

You hate your background and for the life of me I don't know why. The Mennonites are good people.

Regardless of how "good" any group of people might be, it doesn't mean that it works for everyone or that someone isn't going to hate it. You sound like you're having a hard time accepting that. Every atheist I've never known had a religious upbringing.

You say you are going to kill yourself? Cowards do that. Cowards who can't handle anything if it's not the way they want it to be. It takes GUTS and COURAGE to stay here and face life.

People who commit suicide are not cowards. They are people who are so down in a black hole somewhere, a place where coward and courage don't really have any meaning anymore. People who always threaten to commit suicide but never do anything about it might be cowards. People who talk about it a lot generally just really need help, but it doesn't make them cowards.

People who are serious are just in a place that no one else will ever understand, so it's hard to say things like that about them. They are in a place that has gone far beyond something you could call "cowardly." Just like calling them "selfish" - they're totally into themselves, yes - but it's because they're just off in a place where other people just have no meaning anymore. Words like "selfish" and "coward" just really don't exist there.

And they are in a place where they need a hand to help them back out of the hole, and not a kick in the butt that throws them back into it. (Of course, you do have to know the difference between the serious ones, and the ones trying to get attention.)

This particular person may be full of it, I don't know, and I kind of think some things don't make sense here. But someone who seriously wants to be dead will just take that as a big kick in the butt, back into the hole they're in.

It's extremely difficult to kill oneself. There's a huge, huge gap between no longer wanting to live with your life the way it is, and wanting to be dead. Dead is so - permanent. And someone has to be really, really, really down in a horrible, dark place before they would ever take that final, permanent, step and actually kill themselves. It's not exactly an easy thing to do, even when you're way, way deep into the hole.

[morgaine300]

Except for the Warden in Shawshank redemption - he was a coward cause it was easier than being arrested. But that's a totally different type of situation.

[Kitkat22]

Except for the Warden in Shawshank redemption - he was a coward cause it was easier than being arrested. But that's a totally different type of situation.

Love that movie. My friend committed suicide and she had never uttered the word in all the years I knew her. You are right some people who are always talking about it seldom do it. Now the warden really was a coward.

[Alty]

I don't think he'll be back. I think he's too mad at the advice.

I think he'll be back. This isn't the first time he's come back with the same issue. I doubt it will be the last.

To the OP. We can only help those willing to help themselves, and to be brutally honest, this is a question and answer site, not a hospital, not a mental health facility, and not the suicide hotline.

We are more than willing to help, but when each suggestion is shot down, what else are we supposed to do? You can only say "get help" so many times, and that's really all we can offer.

I'm sorry that you're going through all of this, but you're the only one that can get up, pick up the phone and get the help you need. We can only type, that's all. We have no special powers and we can't magically fix your problems. At some point in your life you have to choose to fight for yourself, you have to choose to get the help you need. If you're not willing to do that, there's nothing we can do for you.

I wish you luck. I hope that you finally realize that you need professional help, and I hope you get it.

[smearcase]

I came in here way late and I haven't digested all the discussion between your early posts and now.
I recognize that all religions aren't the same as mine, but in mine you don't go to heaven as a maybe yes/maybe no Christian, but not at random. You must accept Christ and believe in Him before you die.

I wouldn't roll the dice and hope for the best on that one.

Depression can definitely be treated (been there-done that!)

The right religion can help too. We are in the process of finding a new one after 50+ years in one of the major ones. The old one morphed (nobody asked our opinion about it) into something we couldn't support.

Best wishes to you.

[Kitkat22]

I think about the young and older men and woman who have died in wars
and I cannot for the life of me figure you out. Vietnam Veterans who came home and were spat on and ridiculed and yet, you ask any of them and most would say I'd do it again. WWII, Korea, Persion Gulf and this war going on now, brave men and woman who gave everything they had ,only to be sent home in a Flag draped coffin. How much they had too live for. One of our "youngsters" here who died in this war a couple of years ago was the music minister and was looking forward to making the youth choir the best around here.he died three weeks before he was supposed to come home.

My son is a soldier and he is a very proud and wonderful young man. He's been over there several times. He is the best father and husband and son I could have ever asked for. I don't think I would want you watching his back. I don't think you'll come back to address all these posts, that's the kind of person you are and you probably want us to feel guilty thinking maybe you've killed yourself. I don't feel guilty. We all tried to help you and if you did committ suicide you won't be reading this anyway.

People who are dead set on taking their lives already have a mindset and no matter what we have said.. we couldn't have changed your mind anyway. I hope you get help. Nobody is going to come and drag you to see a doctor or a shrink. You have to make choices and I'm hoping you choose to leave the Military for your sake and every person enlisted. You think about this if you're still with us, How much value do you place on a human life? You're a disgrace to every man and woman in this Country who have served and are serving in the Military. Shame on you for being such a quitter.

[KBC]

Thread closed.