[katiejane]

Hi, I'm thinking of planning a family sometime next year,I'm on the pill at the moment!The thing is my best friend has asked me to be her bridesmaid in sept of next year and I don't think she wants me to be her "fat bridesmaid" as she called it! So I keep wondering when the best time will be,also I don't want to let her down,I don't know what to do??

[Allheart]

Hi Katie,

This precious decision, should be between you and your husband. If you both feel now is the right time, or soon down the road, then you should be exhilarated about bringing a special miracle in to this world. And your friend, should be just as happy for you and no, you are not letting her down.

[CaptainForest]

I don't think your “friend” is a real good friend.

I agree with Allheart.

This decision is between you and your husband.

If you want to get pregnant tomorrow, that is YOUR choice, and your “friend” has no say in it.

She doesn't want a fat bridesmaid eh?

Let me ask you this, if you were just an overweight fat person in general, does that mean you wouldn't be allowed to be a bridesmaid?

Sounds quite shallow to me.

[JoeCanada76]

I agree with all of the above.

It is you and your husbands decision when to decide to start having children. The priority of your own family. Your husband, yourself and a future baby is what is important. No one else takes priority.

Very shallow, and not really a true friend. Why should you disappoint your husband or yourself for your friend.

Joe

[Curlyben]

Just another note to add to your excellent responses.
You say you are currently on the pill.
Even if you stop right now you won't fall pregnant for quite a while, as the hormones work their way out of your system and you body returns to normal.
Birth control of any chemical type stays in your system for quite a few months.
This varies from person to person, but with us it was about 18 months before anything happened.

[talaniman]

What's wrong with a pregnant bridesmaid? Would you rather please your husband or girlfriend? CHOOSE ONE!

[s_cianci]

Just tell her upfront that you may be starting a family and may be pregnant at the time. Then let her decide whether she still wants you to be a bridesmaid or not.

[talaniman]

Say nothing and surprise her:eek:

[richsaha2007]

I can't believe your friend said that. If you feel that it is time, then you should prepare for a child. If she was your friend, it wouldn't matter if you were 3, 6, or even 8 months.

[J_9]

Remember that it is your family you are planning. She does not need to be part of planning your family now, does she?

Having a best friend pregnant in wedding pictures brings back a lot of memories in years to come, even some laughs with the kids when they are older. She sounds very shallow and very self-centered.

[sarmstrong]

I am getting married in September and one of my bridesmaids just informed me that she was pregnant.. by the time of the wedding, she is going to be 7 1/2 months pregnant. I would tell your friend that you may be pregnant and ask her if she would still like you to be in her wedding. I planned my date around my friend's schedule (she had planned on getting pregnant in July/August) and now I am mad, hurt and I am trying to figure out a way to ask her to bow out.

[talaniman]

I am getting married in September and one of my bridesmaids just informed me that she was pregnant..by the time of the wedding, she is going to be 7 1/2 months pregnant. I would tell your friend that you may be pregnant and ask her if she would still like you to be in her wedding. I planned my date around my friend's schedule (she had planned on getting pregnant in July/August) and now I am mad, hurt and I am trying to figure out a way to ask her to bow out.

Why are you mad? Is there something wrong with a pregnant bridesmaid? What's the big deal?

[sarmstrong]

I had already picked a date around her schedule to begin with. I feel like since I was already doing that, she could be curteous enough to at least step down now. I have already ordered all of the dresses and she previously ordered a 2, which she is definitely not going to fit into (The dresses are also very fitted and strapless). The dress is from last season, so there are not anymore. At this persons wedding, she CRIED because 1 bridesmaid didn't want to wear her hair up-yet she wants to show up to my wedding, looking completely different than everyone else. If I didn't care what they wore, I certainly wouldn't have spent all the money buying the same dresses.

[rol]

<<I had already picked a date around her schedule to begin with. I feel like since I was already doing that, she could be curteous enough to at least step down now. I have already ordered all of the dresses and she previously ordered a 2, which she is definitely not going to fit into (The dresses are also very fitted and strapless). The dress is from last season, so there are not anymore. At this persons wedding, she CRIED because 1 bridesmaid didn't want to wear her hair up-yet she wants to show up to my wedding, looking completely different than everyone else. If I didn't care what they wore, I certainly wouldn't have spent all the money buying the same dresses.>>


Oh pleaseeeee, why are people so obsessed about having a "perfect wedding"?!

[vlee]

Here is how I see it, you either accept or decline your friends invite to be a bridesmaid. If you get pregnant before the wedding, let her know as soon as you feel comfortable telling people, and ask her if she would still like you to stand with her at her wedding. This gives her the chance to select someone else, or maybe to shine through and show what a good friend she is by accepting this "bump" in the road. I certainly don't think you should plan your family around someone else's wedding! Your family will be your entire life's focus from start to end, friends will never stack up to them. Do what is best for YOU and your husband. I already don't like this self absorbed chick for referring to a pregnant woman as a "fat bridesmaid". I kind of hope her hips expand 4 sizes with her first baby.

As for you sarmstrong, This is your friend you are talking about. A friend who has supported you through your wedding plans, your melt downs, and who knows what else. Now she is willing to stand on her swollen feet and ankles next to you on your special day and all you can think about is how she won't "fit" in. Maybe she hasn't bowed out because to her it is more important to support a friend than to match the interior decorating of the church. She probably assumed you felt the same way about her. You will likely ruin your friendship if you ask her to step down. I guess you had better decide which is more important to you, The perfect wedding (which will still be flawed somehow) or your pregnant friend.

[Newyorker]

She is a certified bridezilla! You should surround yourself with friends who are healthy for you. Switch the situation around... How would you feel?