[mickimm]

I feel life isan't for me every day is a struggling task to stay alive (very difficult) I have been suffering with a number of illnesses and I raliy don't no what to do anymore its like I don't want to die but I have to! I am going to kill myself when I get the chance without people watching over me all the time no one raily understands what I'm going thruogh and now they never will.

[Wondergirl]

Do you have a plan?

[mickimm]

What are you sappose to do when u hae had lots of specialist invoved with u and it has (not) helped me in any way and all your dissorders are making your life hell and the family' friend's etc. are emtionally tormenting you and not helping in anyway and u feel the only way out is death answers *** ?

[Kitkat22]

Killing yourself is the only solution you can think of? I think your family must love you or you wouldn't have anyone taking care of you. Think of how they will feel.

We all have illness in our family, but that's when families pull together. God will call you when he's ready for you and not before then. Pray and ask him to help you get over this.

It's hard staying here sometimes when life seems to be throwing
Every obstacle in the world at us.
We endure and it gets better.

You are not the only one who has ever had that thought, we all have at one time or the other. The fact is I was always to scared of Hell to
Even try and go through it. You may not believe in Hell but I do.

Think about it. God gave you your life and he knows when you have had enough and only he knows that. If you don't believe in God, then you need to talk to someone
Like a counselor. Good Luck

[Wondergirl]

what are you sappose to do

Do you have a plan?

[Kitkat22]

How do you plan on doing this? I would like to know also.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see, get new doctors, get new treatments,
Get new friends, stop visiting family

[Jake2008]

i feel life isan't for me every day is a struggling task to stay alive (very difficult) i have been suffering with a number of illnesses and i raliy dont no what to do anymore its like i dont want to die but i have to! i am going to kill myself when i get the chance without people watching over me all the time no one raily understands what im going thruogh and now they never will.

What is the nature of your illness, or illnesses? And, how old are you. Are you in hospital now?

As you know, typically people about to commit suicide, have a plan if they are serious. That is one of many markers, that no one can determine in an online forum such as this. An assessment of your thinking, behaviour, and all other factors contributing to you not being able to take life anymore, as you say, have to be evaluated by your medical team.

Do you have a terminal illness? What has caused you to become so despondant- was there a sudden change in your situation? Has this gone on a very long time? Why do you say your family is tormenting you.

Are you able to make decisions on your own as to your care, or is a parent/guardian involved.

Next to impossible to determine what's going on with you other than you are feeling desperate and probably lost.

Can you provide at least some detail in order for others to better understand what's going on with you?

[Maggie 3]

You have the power to change everything about yourself, by changing your thoughts and ideas. Your present conditions are the results of your past
Thinking. There is no limit to our creative power, our mind. our thinking. The most quick way to start is reforming our thoughts. Is changing our thoughts
And ideas, that you have been thinking, to establish a new set of ideas of thinking. Calmly set about changing your state of mind by using your imagination to establish a new set of ideas.The best way to bring about reform in our thinking is the use of strong affirmation, to be repeated any time in silence and any time needed but get it set in your mind and think on what you are saying. And say this "I am Healthy, Strong, Young, Powerful, loving, Harmonious,
Successful, and Happy. These words are powerful and constructive and can be used with good results. I know, I used this to help me many years
Ago because of many fears that controlled me then.

[Jake2008]

Maggie,

Outstanding answer. Thank you for the inspiration, and I hope that our OP thinks about what you have said.

[mickimm]

I have depretion 'post trammatic tress'pannick dissorder'eating dissorder'self harmer pcychical I have ibs 'pectus excavatam'and spina biffida aculta and chest and breathing abnomallitiy dossorder.

[Wondergirl]

I'm glad you've come back to talk with us.

I have depretion 'post trammatic tress'pannick dissorder'eating dissorder'self harmer pcychical I have ibs 'pectus excavatam'and spina biffida aculta and chest and breathing abnomallitiy dossorder.

What are you doing to get out of this dark tunnel? Are you seeing a doctor or therapist on a regular basis? Since you have diagnoses, you must be getting regular medical help?

[Jake2008]

You have a lot on your plate, and it is easy to see now why you feel so overwhelmed, especially with so many involved in your care.

With what you have described, it is difficult sometimes to see that the people in your life may be doing the best they can, with the best of intentions, but it can feel like they are tormenting, controlling, and overbearing as you have implied.

There is no rule book unfortunately in how to provide support to a person with all of your medical problems. Following schedules, administering medications, any and all special needs you may have, all come without training for the most part, you can only do the best you can do.

I do understand your frustration with both needing people in your life to help you, and wishing you had more independence from them at the same time.

Maybe it is time to just re-evaluate everything. Maybe there can be changes made to areas of your life to give you more of what you need, and less of what you don't. There is nothing wrong with asking about your medications, or speaking to your Doctor about changing, altering, increasing, decreasing etc. some of them. I am not familiar enough with how your day to day life goes, but, if it is possible to have those in charge of your care (if it isn't you), help you to assess the medications.

I don't know where you are, but here in Canada, every Canadian can have an evaluation of all prescription medications by their pharmasist, every year. It helps to keep track of any possible problems or interractions. There is no charge for this.

Once the medications are evaluated, particularly those for depression, and all is well on that front, why not pursue, through agencies available where you are, any and all opportunities to socialize with others in similar circumstances. Maybe you have already. Maybe attend some night classes that offer courses you might be interested in like art, photography, writing, etc.

You have a computer, why not check out online courses through a university or college. Enlist the help of your family to reach out beyond your current situation, and learn or do something new. That will help you feel more independent, as well as give you something to look forward to, even if it's once a week, or a few hours a day.

I could also be all wrong, and I'm making presumptions as to your ability, or lack of, that may be way out of whack here. But, thinking if I were in your shoes, what might be possible, and what not be possible, is at least worth thinking about.

I guess the bottom line is, think about what you, yourself, can do, to improve your life. And have positive, enjoyable activities to keep your mind and body active and busy, at least busier. Or even something entirely different that you've never tried before.

A little effort, and a little help, may go a long way in making your life much more satisfying and rewarding.

All the best to you Mickimm.