[messeyme]

My sister borrowed some evening wear items last christmas to wear to parties. Recently I asked her to return the fur jacket, crystal earrings, my daughters coat (who owes her husband money) and yellow dress. She replied by telling me I owed her for medicine she paid for last fall when I had a heart attack (which is true), I am so devastated that she found it to be a burden to help me when I couldn't work for 5 weeks and then 4 weeks of 1/2 days. (I owe her about $200 but she claims $900 and doesn't have an receipts to prove the difference). I have emailed her five times and sent 2 certified letters. She never responds. One email that she did respond to stated we should return all money and gifts we've each given. When I began listing antique wardrobe, china, butter churn, etc. she quit responding to me. I told her I was going to take her to small claims but still no response. Two questions: 1) Is it considered theft when she took my daughter's coat without permission? 2) what are my chances by taking her to court? She said in her email she wanted everything returned to each other. Will this hold up in court? By the way-we're in our sixties and we're identical twins.

[wallabee4]

Do you not live close enough to each other to speak face to face? What are you hiding from to just e-mail? Are you afraid of confrontation? Why not own up to whatever you owe her, gather it all together, take full responsibility for your own actions before you start to hold her feet to the fire. You say you dispute the cost of the medicines. Well, you know what you took, call the pharmacy. They will have a record. The meds had to have been in your name since you took them, even if your sister paid for them. You can get the exact figure so she has no ground to stand on to dispute it and even if you don't have the $ to pay it all back right now, write down an exact and honest payment plan that you know you can stick to to make it right with your sister. Then show up at her door. If you show you are prepared with factual evidence and the items you owe back to her, if you are at her home where the items she owes you are stored, what's to stop you from sitting and waiting (on her doorstep even) for her to get those items to give back to you? Do this on a weekend so she is home and you have all day to sit and wait. If she says she'll call the cops to have you removed from the doorstep, let her. Then tell the cops calmly what you are waiting for her to return to you. Have a written factual list and don't get emotional or make a scene. If she says the items are at the drycleaners, then tell her, OK, let's call on my cellphone right now (assuming that you have a cellphone... ) to have the cleaner set them aside for me to pick them up on my way home. Why do it this way? Well, that's more or less what will happen in small claims except you'd have the judge force you both to come up with a list and owe up to each other and get 'er done. You have the power to do it yourself outside of court, you just have to start first with yourself and what you owe her, not start with what she owes you. If your slate is clean, then your conscience can unemotionally fight with her to get results. But if you are screaming and defensive because you know you are guilty too you haven't a leg to stand on. Get real, get results.

[AK lawyer]

... my daughters coat (who owes her husband money) ...

I could be a smart-alec and ask you why the coat owes him money. But I know that's not what you mean. But I honestly don't understand this part. Who owes your brother-in-law money, and what does that have to do with your daughter's coat?

[messeyme]

I agree with you both but you really can't imagine the tongue she has and how deeply she cuts you. First of all: she lives in a gated community where my name has been removed from the guest list; secondly-the amount of money she is aguring for is what my daughter borrowed from her husband and has nothing to do with me ($500). I owe the sister around two hundred dollars and she has nearly three thousand of my things. There really isn't anyway to settle this but through the courts. Oh-did I mention she holds a position in the county and is well known. She is calling my bluff by not giving settling this feud.

[wallabee4]

you really can't imagine the tongue she has and how deeply she cuts you.

Doesn't matter. Sticks and stones.

Oh-did I mention she holds a position in the county and is well known. She is calling my bluff by not giving settling this feud.

Seems to me someone who is 'well known' wouldn't want their name dragged through the mud (whereas myself no one knows me and I couldn't care less) Court is too quiet.

Not sure how this will work for you, but it worked GREAT for me when
A local fat-cat (big fish in small pond) was ripping us off on the sale of a property with a blatant bait and switch. He had my deposit and was going to keep it come hell or high water. He had already told me many times how honest a guy he was, how well known he was in the local community. (How he hooked me in the first place--I trusted him.)


Well, I got my deposit back. How? I had to prep myself in the parking lot of his lawyer's office. Got the tears flowing so my eyes would be all red and my nose really stuffy. Then I went in meekly to the front desk and asked to see the lawyer, saying I was so sorry to bother him, I was upset because I didn't know what to do, that --insert name here-- was baiting and switching a property on me and I was so afraid to lose the deposit, it was all the money I had saved up to buy a home, I just couldn't believe that --insert name here--was doing this to me since everyone had told me he is such an honest guy, etc. etc. (I didn't take a breath between sobbing) The lawyer--it probably has to be a man--sprang into action to comfort me: "Oh, he just couldn't believe that --insert name here--would do such a thing, it must all be some misunderstanding, he'll get him on the phone right away." Batta big batta bomb, embarrassed to be called by the lawyer and have to explain himself to him, --insert name here--authorized his lawyer to cut me a refudn check on the spot.

Didn't cost me a single lawyer fee. (few tissues... )

For this to work, you have to be absolutely honest with yourself and with others that you are in indeed the one in the right.

[messeyme]

I love it-Wallabee. I have a nother sister who did a similar thing only it included 4 children under the age 5 which she took to the attorney's office and left them go free in his lobby. Wild and Funny and yes she got her $1500 returned also.

As far as my problem- I fully intend to file suit. It is crazy to hold someone's belongings ramson for another's obligation. Have a great day!

[wallabee4]

Go for it, but... Well, I'm assuming you intend small claims. How do you intend to get her served if you can't reach her? (gated community) You can't file unless she is served. The sheriff's service costs $ and they only make one attempt per payment. She could make it difficult for you at the beginning. Beyond that, let's say you get her served, be sure you have triplicate copies of all your proof from your 1st post here in writing and all your ducks in order. Don't give her anymore heads up on what to expect. You aren't obligated to until the court day. If she comes unprepared or presents herself with that 'cutting tone' and you stay calm, cool, collected, and 'just the facts, ma'am' you can win this, but it's not much fun.

[messeyme]

Thanks again Wallabee. She will be served at her office and possibly behind the gated community. I talked with the guards and they said they could not prevent a paper serve but would escort the officer to her home to serve. The form asked for 2 locations and I used both work & home.

As far as proof- I think she has harmed her self by not replying to 2 registered letters nor 6 emails.

Thanks again.

[twinkiedooter]

I "loaned" my sister well over $1,000 about 40 some years ago. Never got it paid back. I chalked it up to her being a greedy SOB and have left her alone. Last time I spoke to her was 13 years ago and that was only because my mother died and my greedy sister wanted to know what her "share" of mom's estate would be.

If you want to make up a list of just who owes who what I'll bet that once all the items and sums of money are added up it will be even Steven and no one owes the other more money.

If you want to be your sister's friend forget the evening items and never "loan" her anything ever again. And the same with asking her for any money, clothing items, etc. Never ask for her help again as this is what you'll get in return. Complete silence in return.

[JudyKayTee]

The legal answer - there are several ways people are served. Personal service is just one way. File in Small Claims Court, bring your proof, bring whatever proof you have to defend her counterclaim against you.

I think Small Claims Court is a very bad place to resolve family feuds and if the Judge sees this as a family feud that is most probably how the decision will go.

You are talking about used clothing and I would expect (if you win) to receive pennies on the dollar. I don't think it's worth the time and I wouldn't embarrass myself by suing her. Almost all of us have one of "these" relatives. I'm better off when mine doesn't talk to me.

As far as the other advice about faking tears, turning children loose to inconvenience people - this is a legal forum offering legal advice by people educated and working in the legal field. Please don't recommend behavior which is either contrary to law or just plain foolish. If you have to win by faking you are no better than your sister.

[GeorgeLeigh50]

Family matters should stay within the family. When you go to court to sue, even if you win, being identical twins "airing your dirty linen" out in public to everyone can come back to bite you one too. You may get your coat back, but now you have a relative that as you say has a good job she may lose if you file theft charges against her, then she will want revenge. It is not significantly better, from a social standpoint, to just as an example, to be the Unabomber's brother or next door neighbor rather than the Unabomber himself.

[GeorgeLeigh50]

Lying with the intent of getting money from someone is fraud and theft.

[JudyKayTee]

Family matters should stay within the family. When you go to court to sue, even if you win, being identical twins "airing your dirty linen" out in public to everyone can come back to bite you one too. You may get your coat back, but now you have a relative that as you say has a good job she may lose if you file theft charges against her, then she will want revenge. It is not significantly better, from a social standpoint, to just as an example, to be the Unabomber's brother or next door neighbor rather than the Unabomber himself.

What? You don't the difference between being the Unabomber and the Unabomber's next door neighbor?

No one want to air dirty linen in public. I doubt very much that the sister will lose her job because another sister accuses her of stealing clothing.

I would never advise someone to back down because of a fear of revenge or retaliation - you are wronged, that is what the Courts are for.

[messeyme]

As far as the other advice about faking tears, turning children loose to inconvenience people - this is a legal forum offering legal advice by people educated and working in the legal field. Please don't recommend behavior which is either contrary to law or just plain foolish. If you have to win by faking you are no better than your sister.

To Judy- Sorry for delay on forum but I think your answer is a tad pompous.
I didn't suggest the behavior you are berating me for.
I hope to chatise you in a Texas court someday.

[JudyKayTee]

As far as the other advice about faking tears, turning children loose to inconvenience people - this is a legal forum offering legal advice by people educated and working in the legal field. Please don't recommend behavior which is either contrary to law or just plain foolish. If you have to win by faking you are no better than your sister.

To Judy- Sorry for delay on forum but I think your answer is a tad pompous.
I didn't suggest the behavior you are berating me for.
I hope to chatise you in a Texas court someday.

I'm sorry - I thought you posted that someone turned children loose in an office in order to inconvenience people. Perhaps you were quoting someone else.

Pompous? No. Legally correct? Yes.

Trust me, you won't see me in a Texas Court as a Plaintiff/Defendant or counsel. That's an idle threat.

[wallabee4]

Did you not notice that I said both " if you know you are guilty too you haven't a leg to stand on." and "you have to be absolutely honest with yourself and with others that you are in indeed the one in the right" I no way recommended fraud or deception. The ONLY thing I faked was tears. The words were TRUTH. The bait and switch was TRUTH.

[JudyKayTee]

Faking tears is not valid legal advice and THIS is a legal forum. You yourself admitted you used tears to manipulate the situation - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/resume...ok-511316.html.

Law is not a game.

I doubt very much you heard the "fake tears" line in law school.