[Wondergirl]

Thats what i have :L

I hate to be negative, but you've successfully killed the joke. And why does G'pa have to land anywhere?

[Wondergirl]

[Walks on stage] I'm a-gunna tell you-all a story.

[Sits down] Me and Grandpa Gerald went on a holiday with the family. We went to this Land of Disney place. It was like nothing I had ever seen before! [looks surprised or amazed] Back when we was kids, we never had any of those fancy-pantsy theme parks. [shakes head no] And we had a whole 20c to spend at the fair -- and that was like Christmas!

Anyway, ridin' in the car with the vibration of the engine made Grandpa Gerald want to go a lot. We had to make a pit-stop about every hour. Old coot! [chuckles, slaps knee] When we finally got to the Land of Disney, he was pretty tuckered out and didn't want to walk much. And there sure was a lot of walkin' to do! [slaps both hands on top of thighs]

There were hellie-copter rides, but they cost a lot -- a REAL lot. Fifty dollars -- can you imagine?? And us'ns being old pensioners, fifty dollars was like a treasure. But Grandpa Gerald wanted to sit down for a spell. He really liked the idea of gettin' up so high above everything. [raises arms in the air] We argued back and forth and people started starin ' at us and movin' away. ["tsk, tsk" shakes head again]

Then the pilot came over and said he'd make a deal with us. He'd take us for a hellie-copter ride for free (can you imagine?! ). [look surprised] He said it would be free on the condition that we didn't say ONE word during the flight. Not ONE word! If we said even ONE word, we'd have to pay $50.

Grandpa Gerald really wanted to go (it turned out he meant to a bathroom). [chuckles] I still thought it was a waste of money. When Grandpa Gerald got back, I finally gave in. Fifty dollars, and we wouldn't utter a peep. Fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

We climbed into the copter thing, and off we went! It was really scary flying straight up so fast, but we didn't say one word. After all, fifty dollars is fifty dollars! Then the pilot made the copter spin around in circles. [moves head around and around] Grandpa Gerald and I got soooooooooo dizzy. We clenched our dentures together and didn't make a sound! [snaps mouth shut with a click] Fifty dollars is fifty dollars! The pilot even made the copter do a cartwheel. Whoa, Nellie! I almost lost my breakfast, [holds stomach and gags] but didn't utter a peep 'cause fifty dollars is fifty dollars!

Finally, we landed, and the pilot shouted over his shoulder, "I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you two didn't say one single word. I'm really impressed!"

[chuckles, looks at the audience] "I nearly said somethin' when Grandpa Gerald flew out the door during one of those spins, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars!"

[duh101]

Haha great so what do you suggest I do?? I need help quick

[duh101]

The beginning and... all of it sucks :( ohh god. It's due tomorrow and I haven't learnt it cause its so stupid:(

[duh101]

Wow I didn't realise you had written that up the top that's great!! So what costumes or props?

[Wondergirl]

wow i didnt realise you had written that up the top thats great!!! So what costumes or props??

Talcum powder in your hair will make it look grey and old, or use a silver wig? Do you have any old lady clothes? Or wear a taller person's dress and layer colors and patterns that don't match. Wear a cardigan sweater if you have one. (Old ladies always have shawls or sweaters on.) Do you have an old woman's church hat? You might want to wear clunky dark-colored shoes or fuzzy slippers or old sneakers with knee socks. The weirder the clothes, the more authentic you will look. Google for images of old women to get an idea.

Read over the monologue several times. I added motions you can do and put them in brackets. You don't have to memorize it, but know the progression of the story, but be sure to follow the bracketed motions or at least pause and slap your knee and chuckle or cackle a lot or shake your head or add a lot of body language and facial expressions (mouth open wide in surprise or horror).

After you're comfortable with the wording, perform it for a friend or your sib or a parent.

Good luck -- wish I could be there to watch your performance!

[duh101]

Thanks that's great
You've done so much. I don't no what I would have done without you. :)

[Wondergirl]

thanks thats great
you've done so much. I dont no what i would of done without you. :)

Let me know how it goes!

[duh101]

Yeah I sure will

[duh101]

I performaed it today. It was great! Thanks for your help!

[Wondergirl]

I performaed it today. It was great! Thanks for your help!!

That's wonderful! I'm so glad I could help, and you were able to pull it off. Did the other students laugh? Did the joke work? Did the teacher comment?