[JoeCanada76]

I did not say I hate this person.

Lets be clear. This kid is a bully and beats on the younger sister. This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person. Steals, lies and bullies and more.


This person I do not trust, this person hurts other people on purpose just to hurt them. Just to see others suffer... and in pain...

As far as my son, he has never hit anyone else, but you know what if he did. Guess what he would be getting a major message and punishment. The difference is he knows even at close to 4 what is wrong and right.

[JoeCanada76]

This seven year old IS...

I have never labeled this person as evil to the parents or to the cousin.

This is me sharing my thoughts to all of you.

So this label this cousin does not even know they have. Do I feel and think this way. Yes, and very good reason.

[Kitkat22]

Joe.. I gave you an agree on your post. I've been thinking about a thread a while back and a lady said her stepson was evil and "The Omen".
It made me sick. I have to say your cousins are to blame for the way he is and they are letting him grow up hitting and bullying so he thinks it's OK
It isn't. I think this child may have some deep issues and needs a child psychologist. If he isn't brought to task he'll end up in juvie before he's thirteen years old.

I do think he is a brat and a bully. I also think there is something wrong with a child who finds pleasure in hitting or hurting another child.
My own kids were brats at times, but they soon learned how far they could push us. I don't think a child is born evil at all. I do think he needs help before he gets in trouble at school and is suspended and yes he can be expelled if he bully's another child.

Meet with his parents and tell them your concerns. Tell them he needs help. They may listen. He is only seven and hasn't had much discipline.
He isn't evil Joe, he needs limits and help. Who knows what's going on
With the parents.

[Alty]

I did not say I hate this person.

Lets be clear. This kid is a bully and beats on the younger sister. This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person. Steals, lies and bullies and more.


This person I do not trust, this person hurts other people on purpose just to hurt them. Just to see others suffer... and in pain...

As far as my son, he has never hit anyone else, but you know what if he did. Guess what he would be getting a major message and punishment. The difference is he knows even at close to 4 what is wrong and right.

Joe, are you hearing what you're saying?

"This person I do not trust", "This person hurts other people on purpose", "this kid is a bully", "This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person". Did you forget that this person is 7?

This is one of Gods creations. You're a believer, right? I'm not, yet I'm more willing (or so it seems) to see the potential good in this person. I find it really upsetting that someone could call a 7 year old all the things you've called him and do nothing about it.

You said you don't hate him. Really? Are you sure? The things you've said about him are not things caring people say about others.

If this was an adult, I'd be on your side. I'd say you, this man is evil and he needs help. But, this is a SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD!!

I guess he'll just have to live up to the potential that's been bestowed on him. Sadly, no one cares enough to teach him a different way, to make him into the man he can be. So yes, in the end, he'll be exactly what you said he is. Evil.

It's takes a village to raise a child. Sadly this village seems to only look out for their own.

Yes, I'm mad. Still adore you, but this has me really upset. I would hope that if my children needed help, someone would care enough to help them. I have no parents, I have no siblings, I'm barely included in my own family. I have friends, many of which I know would be there for my kids if I couldn't be. That's all the brings me peace of mind. I see this child as a lost little sheep, and no one gives a damn to put in the effort to find him.

I've said my peace. I'm sorry your son was hurt. I've been there too. When Jared was 2, his 4 year old cousin pulled his arm out of it's socket. It was 4 hours of excruciating pain, driving from one doctor to another before my poor little guy had it put back in place. He remembers that to this day, 10 years later.

I was mad enough to rip the head of that 4 year olds body. How dare he hurt my little man? But on the drive back from the doctors I realized something. The child was 4. He's a child. He wasn't taught differently, so how can I expect more from him? When I got home I talked to him about what he'd done.

Now he's 14 and a wonderful kid. Poo happens. When it involves kids there has to be some leeway, because they're kids.

So, continue to think this child is evil, do nothing, and watch him live up to your expectations, or, take the more difficult road and help him.

I guess this is where I expect Christians to live up to all the things they say.

[YeloDasy]

I totally agree with you, Altenweg. My advice was to talk to the parents out pf concern rather than anger.
But sometimes people need to vent, right? THis can be a place to vent. Joe, admit you are venting and maybe tomorrow you will be able to see more clearly what Alten is saying. I think her words feel like she is dismissing your feelings. She is not, just realize this kid needs help.

Ok, this ended up being a peacemaker post!

[Alty]

I do have to ask Joe. If you knew how "evil" he is, that he's a bully, a liar, a thief, etc. etc. why would you let your son be in a room with him without parental supervision?

[Alty]

I totally agree with you, Altenweg. My advice was to talk to the parents out pf concern rather than anger.
But sometimes people need to vent, right? THis can be a place to vent. Joe, admit you are venting and maybe tomorrow you will be able to see more clearly what Alten is saying. I think her words feel like she is dismissing your feelings. She is not, just realize this kid needs help.

Ok, this ended up being a peacemaker post!

Yelo, I agree. I guess it upsets me because I reserve the word evil for people like Hitler, Mike Vick, Osama, etc. etc. I cannot understand how anyone could use a term like that for a child.

You should know that Joe and I are good friends. I adore him, I really do. I just cannot wrap my head around someone calling a child evil.

It's like the word hate. There are many things I dislike, but to say that I hate a human being is something I reserve for the worst of the worst. Evil is the same way, it's a word not to be used lightly. I can't imagine looking at a 7 year old child and comparing him to Hitler, which is what the use of that word makes me feel.

Venting is fine. Trust me, if I had this site the day my sons arm was pulled out of it's socket, I would have vented like no ones business. But, never would I have called the 4 year old who did it evil. A brat. Yes. In need of a good spank. Yes. But evil? Again, that's a word I cannot and will not associate with a child.

[JoeCanada76]

You know what Alty,

We lived with this family for three months.

You know what we have tried many things to help them out to talk to them to explain to them what has been going on.

You know what they will not listen, they will not listen to us, their child's counselor. They will not take any advice about any of them or from any of us.

They are right. Everybody else is wrong. Kids will be kids.

You know what they have two children. The younger child can be a brat and can cause trouble but is a beautiful child.

Their three year old is an amazing child. That is who my little buddy wants to be around. I do not want to completely cut ties off because of an older person.

Do I leave my son their on his own NO. They were in the room for TV, and within minutes it started. So your saying I am to blame for THIS COUSIN behavior because I left them together in the room for a few minutes.

You know what when your having parents tell Myself and My wife of all of our faults all the time. Yet when we have talked about the behavioral they coddle their children and reward them for their bad behavior. ALL THE TIME.

You know what I can not tell you the whole story over a year, your going by only the little bit I have told you but hey. If I am too blame for another kids behavior then may as well BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

Now I am really getting upset with this. Why did I even share this and trust this with you guys I do not understand.

This person, DOES NOT HAVE ANY LABEL ON THEM. Not from ANYBODY. There was NO HOSTILITY TOWARDS THIS CHILD. When I am their I am open and polite and nice to this child. When I am here sharing you my concerns and telling you what I think of that child. I am telling you what I KNOW ABOUT THIS CHILD. Not anybody else.

I am just telling you all what this person is like and the extreme behavior, conscience in their I do not think so.

MY fault I do not think so. My Responsibility NO. My Child No.

I am going to focus on Raising my son, the Best I can and make sure he knows right from wrong, and limit the time there a lot more closely then before.

So I am not a caring person according to you, eh Alty. Well that is just lovely. I honestly think I care too much. That is my problem.

Goodnight everyone.

[YeloDasy]

I think that you should take the other advice that was given to you. If yo do not like Alten's advice, then just do not respond to it.

That happens a lot on here. People do not like an answer and they repond. When I posted, I did not like ALL responses.

You do care... it is a sad situation for this family and you need to let it be theirs. Sometimes hearing things over and over is what they need. Keep telling them how you feel and keep acting concerned. People respond to concern, not anger. You just might save this child. :)

[Kitkat22]

Joe sometimes I think we are tested in this life. Do you think God may have put you in this position because you may be the only hope this little child has. II woke up and saw what Alty said about Christians and she's right.True Christians love and forgive. We fail every day but the Lord still blesses us. People do watch our lives everyday to see how we react. The people we come in contact with everyday in our town or city, where ever we live.

There are times I get really mean with my answers and responses on this forum but it has to be that way sometimes. I pray a lot. This little boy needs someone who can see he needs help and you may be the one who can turn him around. Talk to him the way you talk to your own son and tell him how much it hurts to see him hit someone smaller or disobey his parents. He may listen and he may change and become a better child.

You've raised your son with values and boundaries and the seven year old hasn't had the advantage of having a Dad who does that. Just think about it and pray about and the Lord will show you how to deal with this.
It has to be with love and compassion and I know you have that in your heart.

[Alty]

Joe, I never said it was your fault, I simply asked why you left your son alone with this child when you have stated that he's a bully, a thief, a liar, no conscience and more. If you knew this before the incident, which you said you did, than I can't understand how you could trust this child with your son for even a minute. After Jared had his arm pulled out of it's socket by my cousins child, I never let them be alone together again for fear that something worse would happen.

I do not want to completely cut ties off because of an older person.

But the child isn't an "older" person. He's only 7 years old. That's what's bothering me about this whole thing. You are so hostile towards this child. I understand why, I really do. He hurt your little boy, but, he too is just a child and obviously something is going on to make him lash out the way he does. Instead of sympathy, instead of compassion, you call him evil. That's not okay Joe.

Joe, you always pride yourself on the fact that even as friends people on this site should be allowed to disagree. Is that true, or is that only the case when you're the one disagreeing?

I have an extreme problem with anyone calling a child evil. Maybe you need some history on me in order to understand why.

That word and a few others are reserved for the worst of the worst. Evil is satan, Hitler, Mike Vick, Osama bin Laden. Evil is not a child, no matter how many people he hits. When I saw that you referred to this child as evil I was shocked. I couldn't believe that a Christian would use that term to describe a seven year old child.

I'm sorry you're so upset by this. I am too.

Obviously you don't want my input so I'll leave after this post. I wish I could agree with you, that would make life easier, but I don't. A real friend can handle disagreement. If I don't agree I will speak my mind. If you can't handle that, than there's nothing left to say.

I wish you all the best.

[DoulaLC]

Joe... since you and your wife feel this child can be a danger to your child, both physically and emotionally, let alone a poor role model, simply tell her parents that the children will no longer be playing, watching TV, anything, unsupervised. Voice your concern about the child's choices in behaviour, share any helpful suggestions, whatever... but plain and simple, the children are not left unsupervised until things change. Again, your three year old can not speak up adequately for himself so you will have to do it for him.

Might the parents be upset? Sure, but they will either finally grasp the seriousness of their child's behaviour and do something about it, or they won't. Either way, your child will be protected.

[JoeCanada76]

I will try this again. I AM NOT HOSTILE TOWARDS THIS CHILD.

I simple have spoken to you guys what I feel and think. Have NEVER ONCE EVER BEEN mean, angry or anything towards this child, towards the parents or towards the cousin directly. So to say that I am hostile towards the child is untrue.

[Alty]

I guess I have one more thing to post. :(

Hos·tile
   /ˈhɒstl or, especially Brit. -taɪl/ Show Spelled[hos-tl or, especially Brit. -tahyl] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
Of, pertaining to, or characteristic of an enemy: a hostile nation.
2.
opposed in feeling, action, or character; antagonistic: hostile criticism.
3.
Characterized by antagonism.
4.
Not friendly, warm, or generous; not hospitable.
–noun
5.
A person or thing that is antagonistic or unfriendly.
6.
Military. An enemy soldier, plane, ship, etc.

The bold part is the definition that fits, IMO. Calling a child evil is hostile criticism, again IMO.

[JoeCanada76]

Thank you for your opinion Alty, and I will say this publicly to you. Also to others that do not think I appreciate Alty view on this.

I will say that in no way was Altys posts thoughts or feelings or opinions unwanted. THEY WERE AND STILL ARE WANTED. If I did not want opinions or feelings or thoughts on this subject I would have never posted it here in the first place.

Debates, disagreements, or difference in opinions does not change anything at all.

I always will, and always be a person that can get quite heated and stand by what I say even if friends or others do not agree and even get upset or hurt or heated. That does not ever change anything with me, nor would I ever ever, treat a friend like that. By ending things or discontinuing friendship over disagreements. That is just NOT ME.

True Friends always always stay close. No fallout truly exist with real friends. Friends can always get into arguments, disagreements, get upset and not agree but would NEVER change my thoughts or feelings about the friendship.

I thank you Alty, because your past post actually made me laugh because you were returning a definition post that I made with a definition post of your own.

The reason why I have not wrote more is been short on time.
I really wanted to write a pm earlier but did not have too much time.

Now that is all said, hope you all aware of where I stand.

Amen, too that.

[JoeCanada76]

Joe....since you and your wife feel this child can be a danger to your child, both physically and emotionally, let alone a poor role model, simply tell her parents that the children will no longer be playing, watching tv, anything, unsupervised. Voice your concern about the child's choices in behaviour, share any helpful suggestions, whatever....but plain and simple, the children are not left unsupervised until things change. Again, your three year old can not speak up adequately for himself so you will have to do it for him.

Might the parents be upset? Sure, but they will either finally grasp the seriousness of their child's behaviour and do something about it, or they won't. Either way, your child will be protected.

All I have to say is beautiful post. I completely agree and thank you. We always tried to keep an close eye on everything and that being said never leaving him there at their house without one of us there.

It looks like though after this incident they can not ever ever be left alone and that we will make sure never happens again. Thank you again for your post.

[Alty]

True Friends always always stay close. No fallout truly exist with real friends. Friends can always get into arguments, disagreements, get upset and not agree but would NEVER change my thoughts or feelings about the friendship.

I agree. I'm glad you feel that way too.

I thank you Alty, because your past post actually made me laugh because you were returning a definition post that I made with a definition post of your own.

I often post definitions if someone doesn't agree with a word that I used, just to clarify why I used that word. It has nothing to do with you posting a definition on this thread. But, if it made you laugh for some reason, great, I'm glad.

And that's where I stand.