[chevy666]

Ok, I plan on moving on my 18th birthday, which everyone knows, and it's in a month. Except my mother seems to think that it is required by law for her to contact the parents of the girl I have chosen to be a roommate with, also for me to need her approval to move. She wants to know everything about this girl, her number, her address, her parents, her parents number, her parents approval, etc. Except I know full well, none of that is required by law,I don't have to tell her anything. Out of of respect I could yes, except we have had a bad relationship in the past, and I would like to just be free from all her drama, and negativity. I know as a parent it is probably hard for her. Basically what I am ask for is something to show my mom that it is not required by law to tell her where I am going, and she does not need to know every detail of my life.

[smoothy]

What the law is or isn't really isn't the case as much as you think here. Teenagers don't know everything and as bad as You may think she is... you have played a part in this.

You may need to come back home at some point and if you insist on picking nits with you mother... you might not be welcomed back. And as an Adult, she wouldn't have to take you. Doubt me? Google up the numbers of colelge grads that can't get a job or lost what they had and had to move back home... even into their 30's.

I recommend you take an adult stance... remember she is your mother, and suck it up, she has the life experience you lack and remember this old saying.

"You can collect more flies using honey than using vinegar."

I can detect a major tone of Teenage attitude in this post. And you are going to learn shortly making it on your own without any ehlp is far harder than you think it is. And doing it without a safety net or help because you ticked of your parents on the way out the door, isn't going to make it any easier.

Sometimes common sense and courtesy means more than the letter of the law... Just give your mom the info and not fan the fire. She'll be happier and it will have cost you nothing. Being right... and doing the right thing.. sometimes put you on opposite ends of a topic with no middle ground.

Trust me, I've let people standing on the side of a remote road that decided to argue about what I or they do and don't have to do (basically they got cocky with me). And I'll continue to do it and sleep very well. Major life lesson #1. People don't help people who are being hostile towards them.

[ScottGem]

Look up the law of attaining majority in your area. Since you neglected to include that information we can't check it for you. The law on majority will state when you reach majority and what you can do at that point.

Generally it is true that, upon reaching the age of majority, a person is no longer responsible to anyone but themselves. They are not required to give details of their life to anyone else.

Since you posted this in a law forum, I have given you what the law is to the best of my ability. However, having said that, I must caution you about burning bridges. If you want to be an adult, then act like one. Your mother spent 18 years providing for you and raising you. That earns her something. And if that means letting her know where you are its not an unreasonable request.

[smoothy]

]However, having said that, I must caution you about burning bridges. If you want to be an adult, then act like one. Your mother spent 18 years providing for you and raising you. That earns her something. And if that means letting her know where you are its not an unreasonable request.

Exactly... its NOT a big deal to give that information, I live in a different state than my mom, I'm 30 years older than the OP is and we still let each other know if we are traveling, and when and where we will be at. Stuff happens when you least expect it, and when it does... we know who to contact and where in case of an emergency.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, I remember when one of my boys "demanded " that he can move out, he did, except I owned the car, so it did not get to move, I owned all of his bedroom items, so they did not move.

It was a tough love lesson as to how hard it is on your own, and not to cut off ties that you may need latter.

[this8384]

Ok, I plan on moving on my 18th birthday, which everyone knows, and it;s in a month. Except my mother seems to think that it is required by law for her to contact the parents of the girl I have chosen to be a roommate with, also for me to need her approval to move. She wants to know everything about this girl, her number, her address, her parents, her parents number, her parents approval, etc. Except I know full well, none of that is required by law,I don't have to tell her anything. Outta of respect I could yes, except we have had a bad relationship in the past, and I would like to just be free from all her drama, and negativity. I know as a parent it is probably hard for her. Basically what I am ask for is something to show my mom that it is not required by law to tell her where I am going, and she does not need to know every detail of my life.

As noted, laws vary by region. We can't help you find the law for your area if we don't know where you're located. I don't see why your mother and/or the other girl's parents would need to consent - unless you're moving in with a minor.

Why don't you come to a compromise with your mom? Give her your roommate's name and number, and the address you'll be living at.

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post
chevy666 agrees : I will be living in MN, and she is not a minor.

18 is the age of majority in MN.

[FoxCash]

You say you want to be free from all her "drama", wouldn't there be less drama if you agreed to meet half-way with her at least?

Bring the girl around your Mom and allow them to meet each other.

I can understand having a bad past, but this is the present and the future we're discussing. Why make the waves more rocky if you don't have to? You're moving out so how much can a compromise really upset you?

Like everyone else said you never know when you may need to return home again.

[chevy666]

If anyone else has any advice feel free to give it.

[FoxCash]

Has your mom ever met this girl? How long have you known her?

[smoothy]

If anyone else has any advice feel free to give it.

So... you are waiting for ANYONE to agree with you or are you willing to see what you are doing wrong? The advice is basically universal.

[chevy666]

Yes, and 5 years

[this8384]

I'm going to throw in my two cents.

Considering your past, I really don't blame your mother for being overprotective. You seem to have made some very, very poor choices at an extremely young age. She wants what's best for you and instead of dealing with issues when you were smaller, your mother seems to be trying to "take care" of you now. You see it as overbearing and dramatic; I see it as a mother who realizes her mistakes and is trying desperately to keep it from being "too late."

[smoothy]

chevy666 wants to hear what they want to hear... not to hear the unbiased truth. Nothing good ever comes from this sort and degree of antithipy for ones parents. And no Teen ever has it all figured out.

THere is not one single person here that's old enough to be past that stage that can say that their assumptions about life and living on ones own were correct when they were first moving out on their own.

This isn't a swipe at you Chevy666, its just a wake up call, that you will find everything is neither as easy as you think it will be, or exactly like you think it will be.

Before you dig a hole that's hard to get yourself out of. And this is coming from a former headstrong teenager, and trust me... I was really headstrong. Make your peace with your mother... this is a lose - lose situation.

[tickle]

yes, and 5 years

Next time you reply to a post like this, chevy, please use the 'quote user' feature so we know what you are referring to.

Tick

[this8384]

Next time you reply to a post like this, chevy, please use the 'quote user' feature so we know what you are referring to.

tick

She was referring to FoxCash's questions. Yes, her mother knows the girl and she has been acquainted with the girl for five years.

[smoothy]

chevy666 agrees: didn't say that and if your gonna get a attitude toward me post somewhere else

Um... there is only one person here copping an attitude... and you can't see that its you.

This is a public forum... You posted here and you have to accepty that your opinion isn't the only one... or even the right one. And you can not dictate who can or can't answer any more than I can.

You have ZERO life experience making it on your own... you are quick to point the finger and blame your parents and anyone else who does not agree with your viewpoint... which is your own.

Everyone here has been through adolescense, everbody here knows most teenagers think they alone know everything and have all the answers... because they haven't had to make it on their own yet, they get everything handed to them and paid for without having to earn any of it.

Do what you want... burn all your bridges... tick your family off so much they won't take you back when you find NOTHING turns out the way you think its going to... when you find you need help and nobody is there to help you. When you have nothing to turn to but a homeless shelter and soup kitchen.

After all... you are 18 and NOBODY is going to tell you what to do. Well, you are now 18 and nobody has to give you anything, nobody has to help you, and nobody has to take you back into their house either. After all you are 18 and its YOUR life...

Think I'm being harsh? Wait until you get an atitude with your boss and get fired for it. Wait until your landlord throws you out onto the street because you can't pay the rent... after all, who are you to them? Someone that expects something for nothing. Wait until your wallet is empty and the grocery store refuses to give you food for free, because who are you to them? Wait until the people you thought were friend refuse to let you sleep on their couch in their apartment and eat their food, because who are you to them... not someone that's obligated to get handouts they worked to earn.

Nope... this is not an "ATTITUDE" Chevy666, this is reall life, this is how the world works. And I'm trying to get you to see the errors in your behaviour before you make decisions you WILL live to regret.

Your family is the most important thing a person can have. Because you can lose everything else... but unless you alienate them... you would still have them.

I've been a teenager, I've been a college student... I've been on my own for 31 years longer than you have been out of your mothers womb.

I've made my way rather successfully on two continents and two countries. You have done what so far... besides criticize the advice I and others have tried to give you.

In the end, your life is yours to screw up or not. I just hope you listen to and take some advice so you don't do the former rather than the latter.

I don't hate you, I don't even dislike you, I'm trying to get you to see the error of your ways as I have seen so many others do as well.

[tickle]

She was referring to FoxCash's questions. Yes, her mother knows the girl and she has been acquainted with the girl for five years.

Hi, this, yes, thanks I did read that part but it is a good idea to use the 'quote user' feature at times so all comments tie in.

Tick