[Caisha]

Me and my boyfriend have been together broke up and got together again. It was a long distance relationship and he's on house arrest. I caught him cheating and he lied about it told her he loved her and was going to be with her but did come home to me. I found out he seen her 6 days before he came home to me and I just can't forgive him and I think about it everyday. I don't want to make love to him no more and I don't even want to kiss him sometimes. At the same time I don't want to see him with anyone else so I stay and I really want this relationship to be saved and feel the same way I used to, what should I do?

Me and my child's father (I am 22 He is 21) broke up while I was pregnant. Now I have relationship problems with myboyfriend and have been getting comfort from my baby's father. The baby is two months old and he has custody of him so when I go to his house it's me him and our baby. Now we get along and seeing us happy to be around each other I am starting to catch feelings for him... how can I make this stop without not visiting him?

[mystific]

I see two options for you,

Put up with the cheating, allowing him to treat you like you're worth nothing and continue to lie to you all for the sake that you don't want to see him with another woman (because that's a reason to stay)

Or...

You kick him to the kerb and don't look back, with the knowledge that you deserve better.

[Cat1864]

Counseling might help. I think it is the only way the two of you will even come close to working through the problems. It will work only if both of you are ready to let go of the past and move forward and only if he understands that it will take a long time and a lot of hard work to regain your trust. You have to be willing to allow him to attempt to rebuild the relationship with you. You have to understand that you never have what you had before. The foundation is cracked and repairs will leave behind scars to remind you.

Personally, I don't think the relationship will work. He has lied to both of you at least once and you haven't said that he knows what he did was wrong.

IF you feel like you don't, can't and won't be able to trust him again in the future, let him and the relationship go. It will hurt and it won't be easy, but in the long term it will be the least damaging of your choices.

[Caisha]

Me and my boyfriend just broke up and he's on house arrest, I will NOT send him back to prison and that's where he will go if I kick him out how do I get past this break up with having to see him every day? ( I can't move out)

[Fr_Chuck]

So why can't he move out, with some family member, or other friend

[Homegirl 50]

Does he want to be with you? Has he vowed to stay away from this girl?
Has he apologized or admitted that he lied to you?
If the answers are no, get some help to get through this because wanting to stay with someone who treats you poorly because you don't want them to be with anyone else is twisted.


Is this the guy who cheated on you?
Let him move in with the other girl or stay with a family member. He is not your responsibility.


Kick the boy friend that's on house arrest out and get yourself together. Why does the father have custody of this baby?

You have too many things going on. You don't want to see your boy friend who cheated on you with anyone else, but you are having feelings for your baby's father.
Leave them both alone and get yourself together. You just had a baby your hormones are probably all over the place.

[talaniman]

You have to figure that a fool on house arrest that cheats on the girl he lives with, deserves to be in jail, just for being stupid.

Or does he think you're the stupid one, and he can do as he pleases, because you will do NOTHING about it. Hmmm.

Eat his crap, and shut up, and let him cheat, or get rid of his butt, and get a better life, without the cheating. The choice is all YOURS!!

[Enigma1999]

A liar, a cheater, and house arrest? C'mon Caisha, do you really think that little of yourself to even for one second think about being with this person?

You have yourself AND more importantly this child to worry about. Not this problem (boyfriend).

Get rid of him and be done with it!

[Cat1864]

This time-frame is making little sense unless you are hopping from one relationship to the next without looking at what you are doing and having a child in the middle of it.

How far into your pregnancy were you when you broke up with your child's father? How long have you been involved with this guy?

When was he put on house arrest and why? Was that while he was living where the other woman lives? If so, why can't he go back there?

You say that he cheated on you and you broke up with him while it was a long distance relationship. Why did you take him back since apparently you knew he had told the other woman he loves her while you were broken up?

You now say that you have broken up with the male who lives with you. Did that happen in less than an hour between posts?

Why do you not have custody of your child? Was it your choice because he was the more stable parent or is there another reason?

Slow down and let your body settle down from having a baby (it takes months for the hormones to go back to more normal levels.). Only deal with your son's father on matters concerning your child. Take a friend with you so that you don't feel like a 'family' when you go visit your child. Are you paying child support?

Get this new 'ex' out of your residence. Let him figure out where he can go. Work on getting your life in order. Stay away from men for a while on a romantic level.