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jeanbaby · Aug 28, 2010, 12:06 AM

Here is my situation. I am a 21 year old male with a 20 year old female. We have been dating for several months now and from the outside everything appears to be fantastic. When we are together things just click easily, although I have been this way with several woman, it is great being this way with her. Even before we began dating I tried to imagine up what a perfect girlfriend would be for me. A pretty woman but not to pretty, as in to hard to be handled. A submissive woman, a woman with similar interest and a smart woman. However also before we got into this relationship I told myself I wanted to be single for a long time, even after I met her I really only say it as dating for a while, but the more I found out about her the more I was intrigued.

Anyway now to the negative side. First, she is smart but not up to my intellect. I can live with that, she can be taught many things and quite frankly I like to being dominant intellectually. Now to the big negatives, I am a horn-dog. Every time I walk by a girl I think to myself I want to F*** her. With this being said, I have never cheated on a woman nor do I ever plan to. But why am I constantly cursed with these feelings? Is it in every mans blood, or is this a sign of my lack of interest? I have dreams regularly of cheating on her with spontaneous woman. While at the same time I am as happy as a clam while I am with her. Tonight I did the closest thing I have ever done to cheating on a woman. And that is flirt very hard with a bunch of other woman, they all loved it. But I did feel a little dirty once one of my friends confronted me about it. But not to dirty.

Now lastly. Here are the insecure thoughts I have. I deem these thoughts are piggish and selfish and if not for the autonomous bit of this account I would not admit to them to strangers. But I believe they are necessary for a full analysis of my situation. Before we got into the relationship, I always thought I would inevitably break up with her. Then why would I date her in the first place you ask? Because I was desperate. I couldn't **** random girls like I always wanted to. Like all of my friends and even my little brother could do with ease. But now my confidence is getting up and I feel like I can, so my question is should I break up with her. Selfish I know. But lastly... let me say this. Day by day she comes out to be an even better woman to me then the last. And day by day I become more confident with other woman. It's like a constant battle. She is entirely unaware and completely intoxicated by me... Mind you.

Anyway here are my last thoughts. I'm very young, I have strong morals, I love woman, I love the woman I'm with, I'm afraid of the decisions I may make. GOOD ADVICE is strongly appreciated. I have been having these second thoughts for some time now. Nearly a month. What to do? Thanks.

martinizing2 · Aug 28, 2010, 01:43 AM

It sounds like you have a good lady but are disturbed by attraction to other women.

Most men I know think along the same lines. Thoughts and fantasies about several different women they encounter in the course of a day.
As long as it stays just thoughts and fantasies , and isn't controlling you or keeping you too distracted to function , I think it's normal or average.

But do be honest in your dealings wiith your currant girl. Honesty is the best way to deal with any situations in any relationship.

I wish you well

talaniman · Aug 28, 2010, 03:31 PM

Your thoughts don't make you evil, or a bad person, and as long as you stay within the boundaries of good behavior, and treat yourself and others with dignity, and respect, you're good to go.

jeanbaby · Aug 28, 2010, 11:53 PM

Thanks for the advice guys.

kaka67 · Aug 29, 2010, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by jeanbaby

a perfect girlfriend would be for me. A pretty woman but not to pretty, as in to hard to be handled. A submissive woman, a woman with similar interest and a smart woman.

Maybe she's just not submissive enough for you :confused:

Let her go, have your fun and let her find a real man to be with.

Devorameira · Aug 29, 2010, 04:53 AM

As long as your actions are pure, stop worrying about your feelings.

You say you want a submissive woman, so that's a huge red flag that says you don't want her to be a partner, but you want to control her. Also your statement about her not being up to your intellect speaks volumes to me. These are just not things that a man in love says.

With that being said, I think you should do her a favor and break off the relationship.