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    lucyhealy135's Avatar
    lucyhealy135 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 26, 2010, 11:34 AM
    I need help.. badly!

    Hi my names lucy,I have a problem with my boyfriend and I'm starting to get really worried about him...
    My boyfriend is 19 and he was adopted,but his mum and dad (the ones who adopted him) is taking over his life,he is 19,and is really feeling down.. for excample,his pashion is football and djing,he is brilliant at both,but his "mum and dad" are letting him down by now letting him do them,they keep saying "your not a dj" we both know he's not a dj but he really does want to be.. I was talking to him 10minutes ago and he even brought up the topic about killing himself.. he said I'm the only good thing he has in his life.he writes letters to himself saying what he wants,and doesn't want.. he even looks up houses he wants to buy.. I would really love to help him out but I can't help him out.. this has been going on for years now and I really think he is going to kill himself someday if he doesn't get his dreams.. could you help me please,I don't know what todo!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Aug 26, 2010, 11:45 AM

    At 19, he still lives at home? Does he have plans for further education or training?
    lucyhealy135's Avatar
    lucyhealy135 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 26, 2010, 12:00 PM

    Yeah.. they won't let him move out... he has plans but they won't let him make them
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Aug 26, 2010, 12:44 PM

    Does he work?

    How would he follow his dreams?
    lucyhealy135's Avatar
    lucyhealy135 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 26, 2010, 12:47 PM

    They won't let him work,he hasn't a cent in his pocket,he wants to get his own place and start a simple job then when he gets the money he can start his dreams
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Aug 26, 2010, 01:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lucyhealy135 View Post
    they wont let him work,he hasnt a cent in his pocket,he wants to get his own place and start a simple job then when he gets the money he can start his dreams
    WHY won't they allow him to work? What does he do all day??
    lucyhealy135's Avatar
    lucyhealy135 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 26, 2010, 01:10 PM

    That's why he wants to kill himself.. he just sits in his room all day playing xbox.. thats no life! They said he's no good at anything
    FoxCash's Avatar
    FoxCash Posts: 160, Reputation: 125
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    #8

    Aug 26, 2010, 01:11 PM

    If he's old enough to leave why does he allow them to rule him?
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #9

    Aug 26, 2010, 01:15 PM

    Are you in a situation where he could move out and move in with you to get away from everything and so he can start his dreams?


    Just a thought, he should not be under this kind of stuff. He should have a job and place of his own. At the age of 19 I bought my own house. At 18, I had my own apartment. He should be able to do the same.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Aug 26, 2010, 02:20 PM

    Would they allow him to go to a community college to get an associate's degree?
    lucyhealy135's Avatar
    lucyhealy135 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 26, 2010, 02:22 PM

    Foxcash: I don't know that what I'm trying to find out myself.. adam:i was thinking that myself,like my brothers are his age,he could go out with them and all kinds of stuff,it's a sujestion I'm thinking over.. ino he's an adult now,but he said to me himself that if he moves out he doesn't want anything todo with them,but they rared him most of his life,their not his real parents but they mise well be,and it'l be harsh if he moves out and never speak to them again.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #12

    Aug 26, 2010, 02:49 PM

    Does he play with his XBox so much that his parents tell him he's wasting his life?

    Most people can't make money playing football or being a DJ. Do his parents want him to learn a trade that will make money for him, and he doesn't want to?

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