[court1011]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. We would hang out a lot, every night and would talk or text on the phone a lot during the day. We would fight about the dumbest things. Ex- I ask him to do something on my car and he would kind of complain but if his mom asked he'd do it no problem and that would piss me off because he complains about doing it for me but goes ahead and does it for his mom. He told me he cares about me but he just wants to take a break and have some space. He never said he wants nothing to do with me or wants it to be over. He just said a break. I have a lot of stuff of mine that I left at his house and he knows that it's there. He also told me him wanting to take a break is not over another girl or finding another girl. But he just said he wants his space because we've been together 24/7. Its been a week since he told me he wants a break and he won't answer my calls or text messages. His friends tell him to call me and that we have to talk and he's being really stubborn and hasn't. One of his best buddies is in the air force and has been in boot camp since November and just came home 3 days ago and he hasn't seen or hung out with him since he left. Im kind of wondering if he wants a little space and time from me so he can go hangout with him while he's home which is until mid September and hang with friends. 3 days ago I saw my boyfriend out with my sisters boyfriend because they are best friends also and my sisters boyfriend said to him he should really talk to me to see where we stand. We talked alone for almost an hr and he said that he just wants some space and a break and that its not over another girl or looking for another girl. In our conversation I said what I had to say and he say what he had to say but never really got a clear answer out of him. I said to him you obviously don't care about me that why you want a break and he said if I didn't care I wouldn't be here right now talking to you. But I'm confused on the whole situation.. Please help!

[talaniman]

Break=break up ; time and space= break' therefore no matter what he says, time and space =break up.

By the way your not giving it to him when everyone and his mama is bugging him about you.

[hbug]

Hun that boy needs to get a clue. If he really wants a break and you want to wait for him then don't call, don't talk to his friends, and really give him that space. But don't wait too long.

[aimee_tt]

Have one last conversation with a friend of his. Ask his friend to go to his house and collect your belongings. Seeing as he won't answer your calls and messages.

Then once you have your stuff back make no more contact with him or his friends.

If he truly just wants space he will find you when he is ready. If not well you have already started getting over him.

[Kitkat22]

He has moved on. You need to do the same. Don't act needy or clingy. He is happy and you should be too.

[Psy_Shweta]

Hello,

How are you?

After carefully reading your question, I feel:

1] You are self-pitying yourself and getting over-anxious about the whole situation.

2] Check on your definitions of break-up and break/ space. That will help you make your thought processes transparent.

3] Check whether you get over-possessive about your boyfriend which lead to his "take-a-break" decision.

4] Mother is a very special person in everyone's life. Check and introspect whether you got over-competitive with his Mother on silly issues which did hurt him.

5] You need to step-up and show bit more of maturity/ empathy and patience towards this situation.

6] Respect his decision and use this time to get a better insight about your love life.

All the best!

Shweta Saxena
Clinical Psychologist
Sydney