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Solitude · Dec 23, 2006, 07:06 AM

My daughter age 13.5 last night told me that she pierced her second ear hold by herself. Should I be concerned at her behavior? When I asked her why she did it? She said I don't know.

I feel so lost as a parent. Have any parent experience this before?

Fianchetto · Dec 23, 2006, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by Solitude

My daughter age 13.5 last night told me that she pierced her second ear hold by herself. Should I be concerned at her behavior? When I asked her why she did it? She said I don't know.

I feel so lost as a parent. Have any parent experience this before?

(Former Paramedic)

I once responded to a similar incident - the child had self-administered/-inflicted several piercings of one ear and one to her nostril. The nostril one bled a bit, prompting the call to 911. I applied dressings(inside ,too) to the nostril and cleaned up her ear. Then explained about bacterial contamination, and that we are prohibited from using the same needle twice (even on the same patient) lest infection develop or a similar incident occur, and asked her that she just ask her parents to take her to a professional (who practices sterile technique and is certified by the state) in the future. I would guess that since she hadn't filled the holes, and that her parents probably would not allow it, that they all healed closed, (at least till she turned 18.) I reassured her that she was "a beautiful young lady and didn't need all that 'hardware' to make herself so."
>These days, multiple piercings, and of multiple body parts are en vogue to some degree.
>There exists a phenomenon that is called self-mutilation, wherein the patient inflicts wounds on themselves (often with autism) and best determined by professional behavioral health experts.
Were she my child, I would determine which of the above (or other) causes led to the behavior and LOVINGLY treat her accordingly.

I guess every generation of teens will adopt one or another form of rebellion. Scares me to think what method my kids (should I have any) will invent by which to torture my heart.
Warmest regards & holiday wishes,
Fianchetto

J_9 · Dec 23, 2006, 05:55 PM

Solitude, considering the number of problems you have with your daughter it is probably wise that you get her into counseling, as I believe has already been suggested.

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2006, 06:28 PM

Stymied by the spread so I'm posting a reply to second what Janine said. Several people have suggested that its past time to get counseling.

What I don't understand is why someone continues to ask advice when they ignore the advice they get.

To Solitude:
I understand you feel lost as a parent. We all feel that way from time to time. But I think your situation has gone beyond the normal. You need more help then we can give you. Even if any of us were professional family counselors, we can't help via remote control. You need some serious professional help. Talk to your pediatrician, school counselor, clergyman or whoever to get your family into counseling. NOW!!

Solitude · Dec 23, 2006, 08:16 PM

Of course I did took the advice and scheduled an intake appointment for family counseling. However, there is no opening until 01/21/07. If I did not need help, I would not post the questions in here and hope to seek the advice from the experienced parents or the outside will see things more clearer. Some of you, give the advice are too judgements and too direct. Please reconsidering the wordings that you write because it only scares the new members from seeking the advice or post the questions.

J_9 · Dec 23, 2006, 08:19 PM

Well, Solitude, I don't know what else to say other than, yes you should be concerned with her behavior.

Have you considered some parening classes? I have done this in the past, way past to be exact, over 20 years, but it did help me.

Solitude · Dec 23, 2006, 08:29 PM

I will look into parenting class after the holidays. Perhaps, it will help with parenting my daughter. I'm wiling to try anything and open to more suggestions.

J_9 · Dec 23, 2006, 08:31 PM

Hey, it sure helped me!!

But you have a BUNCH of issues that need to be worked out. Please feel free to PM me if you need to.

J_9 · Dec 23, 2006, 08:33 PM

Yes, we can be judgmental and direct, but understand that we have been through this and sometimes it takes a little bit of pain to learn.

Most everyone is speaking from experience, although it may hurt, most of it is the truth. It is just hard to hear the truth sometimes.

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2006, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by Solitude

Of course I did took the advice and scheduled an intake appointment for family counseling. However, there is no opening until 01/21/07. If I did not need help, I would not post the questions in here and hope to seek the advice from the experienced parents or the outside will see things more clearer. Some of you, give the advice are too judgements and too direct. Please reconsidering the wordings that you write because it only scares the new members from seeking the advice or post the questions.

All you had to do was say that you had arranged for counseling but you couldn't start until later in January. We aren't mind readers.

I''m very glad to hear it and I hope it works out.