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New Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 10:02 AM
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Should I back off or keep dating him?
I've been seeing a guy for few weeks now. He made it clear that we are dating each other but NOT in a relationship. However, I don't like to hide from all his friends. We spent so much time together and I don't think he's seeing another person. I want a relationship but he told me if I want one, then we need to have sex. I am not ready for any physical relationship at the moment, I don't want to lose my virginity yet. So should I back off or keep dating him?
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Full Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 10:24 AM
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This is a HUGE red flag. How old are you two?
Sex or break up? Break up. Dump this LOSER and find someone that will respect you and your decisions.
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Ultra Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 10:52 AM
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You should do more than back off. You run, and tell the guy if he wants to have sex then he needs to find a girl who will more easily open her legs to him.
No self respecting gentlemen would give you an ultimatum like this. Don't settle for it, and get out of this immediately.
A relationship isn't about sex. It is about growing together, getting to know each other and becoming comfortable with each other. Things should progress naturally.
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New Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 11:27 AM
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But he admits that we are dating. And he said he only sees me at a time. And he said sex is really important for him. So he just wants to lay me?
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Ultra Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by cindywang0905
But he admits that we are dating. And he said he only sees me at a time. And he said sex is really important for him. So he just wants to lay me?
Pretty much. May not be all he wants, but it is for sure a HIGH priority for him.
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Ultra Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 12:19 PM
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A guy that insists you have sex before he'll consider you in a relationship is a controlling jerk.
A guy that hides you from his friends like he's ashamed of you is really creepy.
Why would you even consider being with a man that treats you as less than his equal?
Get out now! You whole future could depend on it.
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Expert
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Aug 20, 2010, 12:34 PM
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If you fall for a stupid line like that to get in your pants, you are as dumb as he is stupid.
A real woman would have stopped dating him, and disappeared from this jerks life.
I don't think your dumb or stupid, and you will do more than back off dating him, you will disappear like I said, and tell him to try that on a rock he likes because you have no time for him at all. Then end the conversation because all he wants is a good time with your body, and NOTHING else.
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Family & People Expert
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Aug 20, 2010, 12:40 PM
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He obviously doesn't respect your feelings. Why be with someone who doesn't respect you?
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Expert
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Aug 20, 2010, 12:47 PM
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What's with you falling for these guys and can't stop obsessing about them. For a virgin you sound desperate to have someone and then can't shake the ones you get who aren't worth a darn.
Can't you control yourself long enough to see what you're dealing with, and drop the losers? That's what your last choices were.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-471012.html
Sounds like the same situation with this guy to me. You grab hold and can't let go can you?
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New Member
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Aug 20, 2010, 08:00 PM
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Yeah you are right. I need to take things slow. And I think I will take you guys' advices and not see him anymore.
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New Member
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Aug 22, 2010, 07:25 PM
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You should absolutely break up with him..
All he's doing is using you:)
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2010, 07:50 PM
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If you're not ready for a physical relationship and he doesn't understand then he isn't the one for you.
I'm curious as to why you would even give him the time of day.
He's made clear he wants sex, you don't. Don't ever let a man talk you into doing something you'll regret.
I think he thinks if he pressures you , you will give in. Don't.
How old are you and how old is he?
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New Member
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Aug 22, 2010, 08:36 PM
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I am 24 and he's 30. He said I don't consider him as a desirable man because I am not having sex with him. But I do like him. And he said he will wait because a guy expects things. But I won't be ready anytime soon though.
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2010, 08:43 PM
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Originally Posted by cindywang0905
I am 24 and he's 30. He said I dont consider him as a desirable man because i am not having sex with him. But I do like him. And he said he will wait because a guy expects things. But I wont be ready anytime soon though.
Good . Don't fall for a line of bull.
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Full Member
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Aug 22, 2010, 08:49 PM
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I agree with eveyone else... Dump him. He should be happy that you don't want to give yourself away to just anyone. If he was really into you he would be in a relationship with you and wait till your ready to take the next step.
No one should ever be pressured to have sex. If your not ready for another 5 years then your not ready. Find someone who will wait for you and not pressure you.
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New Member
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Nov 2, 2010, 11:06 AM
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Just have sex with the guy. After that, see how things work out.
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Full Member
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Nov 2, 2010, 12:48 PM
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Leave him a lone. Date someone that's a bit more mature.
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