[akaimiko]

Hi ladies! So I met my man on eharmony a few months back while he was in Iraq and he recently came back home to Hawaii... I live in philadelphia :-P. We started really slow, because we knew there were some obstacles, but despite that, we fell hard for each other, and became sweethearts before he came home! It was so mindblowing! The whole time we were both like, " This is crazy..no way!" because we had so much in common and yet we came from very different backgrounds. I surprised myself as well, being so positive about our budding relationship instead of being insecure and stuff like I thought I'd be... I feel like I've known him for ages, but I have still asked him, " where have you been all my life?" lol. Actually he responded in such a profound way, he said, " Maybe we had to be apart until we were ready for each other and our relationship..." We're saving our first "I love you"s for when he comes to see me in September. Throughout this whole time, twice I've had to ease his doubts about us working out, because I knew it would be challenging, and I have faith in us... Our last conversation was about 3 days ago, the last thing we talked about was how our days went... lol I was telling him how I was giving myself a pedi and watching 'the grudge'... but we haven't spoken since... At first I was a little concerned, I thought something was wrong with his cellphone or something happened to him while he was training for the biathlon he's participating in... but then I wrote it off as him just being busy with homework and assignments since he started going back to school this past week or something (he's only taking one class online)... I believe his current position is E-5 or E-6 in the army and he's going back to school so he can move up to officer ranking, which I am so proud of him for doing and I have told him this! I have no real understanding of how things work in the military except for the fact that I will never come first, and I'm fine with that, he inspires me everyday to be a strong person! But I'm in withdrawal since otherwise, we've talked just about everyday... what can I do? I've tried to keep in contact, sending him a few messages throughout the day, but he is not responding at all... I've stopped texting him since yesterday and only sent him one this morning telling him that whatever is occupying his attention or time, it would be great if he could just give me a heads up, so that I'm not guessing at what could be going on and start worrying if there's nothing to worry about... What could be going on? Is there a chance he's having doubts again? Is there anything I can do at this point besides letting him come to me? Is asking him to tell me what's going on too much to ask? By the way! I'm new to military relationships so even if it's common sense to you, please be gentle with your answers... I'm vulnerable already...

[Devorameira]

You just need to step back and be patient and wait for him to contact you.

I guess it's possible that he's having doubts, but it may just be that he's busy with the military or family issues. And yes, it is possible that his phone is out of order or lost.

Are you positive that he isn't married or doesn't already have a girlfriend in Hawaii?

[fireguy40]

I haven't served myself but plenty of my work mates have, From what I can gather from them its quite normal to disappear for a few days, due to exercise, stag dutys and various other reasons.
And to be fair its only been 3 days just chill and wait for him to get in touch

[talaniman]

I think expecting a soldier to be always available instantly is unreasonable of you. So don't get carried away when he is doing his duty to his country.

Maybe you're a bit carried away by your own feelings and the distance makes you insecure and impatient, and maybe understanding the time zone difference as well as a soldiers lifestyle will help you be a bit more realistic in this very new young relationship, that has more than its share of obstacles already. (newness of two STRANGERS, different lifestyles, and obligations, expectations, distance, INEXPERIENCE WITH EACH OTHER, OR LIFE IN GENERAL.)

[Kitkat22]

Chill out. He's in the military. It isn't like a 9 to 5 job. OCS will be very hard , so don't expect him to call everyday.

[akaimiko]

All right, I'll wait... I think you're right, talaniman, I need to understand what his lifestyle is like...