[kb1980]

I am a computer engg. working as lecturer in an engg. College. I have been married since last 3 years, and have a 8 month old daughter. Our was a love marriage. My husband is from a very remote village in up. Before marriage he didn’t tell me anything about his family. He always gave me an idea that his family members are not interested in him and have abandoned him. He never disclosed that his father has a second marriage and he has step sisters.
I am from a rich family, my father is a govt. servant at a very high post. My parents never liked this marriage, but only had to adjust.
My husband was unemployed, so being a comp. engg. I helped him to start a s/w company, which was financed by me and my father.
After marriage the love of my in-laws suddenly grew for their son. Now my husband always forces me to go and spend my holidays in their village which has no facilities. I am forced to spend my festival in that idiotic place and my parents only hope to have me during the festivals.
His family members come to my place regularly and stay with us for months. They sleep in my bed room and ruin everything they find good in my house.
I used to go to his village for holidays, but now I have a baby, and for her it is difficult to adjust at that rubbish place.
Now my husband want that we should spend our diwali holidays in village. I want to spend it with my parents.
My husband does nothing, I develop his software’s, that he sells, I fund him, but every time he thinks about his family.
Should I break my marriage now.

[Clough]

Hi, kb1980!

You've written quite a bit so far as to what you don't like and about the situation in general. However, what has occurred in conversations that you might have already had with your husband concerning your discontent, please? That is, if you've had such discussions with him.

Thanks!

[lickemlolly]

Yes it would be helpful to know what you have told your husband regarding your feelings in this matter

[Devorameira]

You need to discuss all of these issues with your husband.

It sounds like the village is a little primitive, but isn't it possible to share your time with both his family and yours?

[talaniman]

I have to agree with the others on this one as a couple should talk and listen and work together to get a resolution that works for you both.

Seems if you talked, you both could be setting rules, and guidelines together, and define what's acceptable behavior, and what's not.

Sorry but for a love marriage, their seems to be so little of that taking place and NO communications going on at all.

That you would give up because of obstacles you face is not love in my book, but I feel your frustration, and encourage you to look for solutions to your frustrations rather than just giving up.

Tell me different, but try talking, and see what happens.

[laksen77]

This seems to be a concern of matter between you and your husband understanding, do not take anything about your inlaws , they are all just passing clouds in your life, just let your husband go and come to his native, in your case try to explain him that the child won't be able to adjust, she needs full protection both health and life wise, also slowly explain your husband that you need him also his baby, its totally your life, why you get disturbed becos of your inlaws, live happily with your husband.