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    cheermom30's Avatar
    cheermom30 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 12, 2010, 07:15 PM
    How to approach high school when you feel your daughter has been discriminated against
    My daughter is currently a rising senior in high school. She is biracial however looks more white than her other race. She has been on the varsity cheerleading squad since her freshman year. She is an excellent student and has always exhibited school spirit, dedication to the squad as well as leadership skills. She wishes to continue with cheerleading in college. Her cheerleading squad is diverse and half of the squad is white and the other half is african american. Today, her squad chose the two captains for the team. One of the girls chosen was a girl that has been on the team since her freshman year as well and the other girl has only been on the squad for one year. My daughter was not chosen for captain. I called the coach tonight to ask why my daughter was not chosen because she is one of the best girls on the squad and has been dedicated to that squad, etc. The coach said it was a very close call however she felt that the other two girls could be better leaders for the squad. I asked her what leadership skills my daughter lacked and the coach said because of the "dynamics of the squad" she felt my daughter would not be able to hold the team together... Is that not the coaches job to do?? Anyway, I fell my daughter is being discriminated against because she isn't in the "cliche" of the minority girls on the squad and therefore was not given the opportunity to be captain of the team. I want to go the principal because I am not satisfied with the coach's response to this issue... anybody have any advice on what I should do??
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Aug 12, 2010, 07:42 PM

    You drop it and let it go, We will not always be the one picked to be the manager, or the one picked to be promoted in jobs in real life,

    And yes, being in the cliché , esp in sports and cheer leading is where and how the leaders come from, just as in real life at work, having gone to the same college or playing golf together gets you promoted.

    All your making a fuss will do is further upset your daughter, bring un-needed attention to it, and with no proof except that a more popular person was picked, it is not illegal.
    cheermom30's Avatar
    cheermom30 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 12, 2010, 08:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    you drop it and let it go, We will not always be the one picked to be the manager, or the one picked to be promoted in jobs in real life,

    And yes, being in the cliche , esp in sports and cheer leading is where and how the leaders come from, just as in real life at work, having gone to the same college or playing golf together gets you promoted.

    All your making a fuss will do is futher upset your daughter, bring un-needed attention to it, and with no proof except that a more popular person was picked, it is not illegal.
    Yes, you are correct as far as not always being picked for a promotion, etc. however my daughter deserves that position. She has busted her butt for 3 years on that team. She is always the one to be there to help with cheers and chants and to support other girls when needed. She trusted in her team and more importantly in her coach and they have all let her down... She wants to quit now because she feels used.. so I can't just let it go. This is my daughter's life and she wants to cheer in college.. I don't want her to quit and regret her senior year in high school because she feels betrayed and as her parent I will do everything I can to not allow this to happen.
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #4

    Aug 12, 2010, 08:45 PM

    I know how she feels. I used to dance from the age of 2 and a half till I was 20. I went to the one dance school from the age of 2.5 to 13 and got one medal all thoes years. It wasn't beauce I wasn't good enough. I was the best in the class but the teacher knew id keep coming back. So her favourite students would get them who she wanted to stay.

    I did 2 years at another studio which was similar to mine and they also ignored me. The my last 5 years I did for fun at a smaller dance studio. You know every year thoes five years I got a trophy for most outstanding in one class. (everyone could only get one trophy) then the last year I got most outstand student in the whole school.

    You can't just take her out of school and change I know.. But there is college. College may be the place where she finally gets noticed. Trust me its all worth it in the end. She just needs to give it her all. Try her best and show them what they could have had.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #5

    Aug 12, 2010, 09:04 PM

    I would be more worried about her going to College than being Cheerleading Captain. She's a cheerleader.

    There are other things more important. You are trying to live your life through your daughter. Get over it, I'll bet she's not as upset about it as you are.

    I've seen pushy mothers who enter their little girls in Beauty Pageants and make them go out on stage in clothing that would put a model to shame. These little girls don't want to be there but Mommy thinks she should.

    This is the real world lady and you're in for a rude awakening when your daughter goes to College. She is not being discriminated against. The other girls were better.Stop being a stage mom. Everybody can't be prom queen.

    I think I would be worried more about how your attitude is affecting her.
    Nobody is going to ask if she was a cheerleader when she graduates college and is looking for a job. I'm sure when they interview her for a job being a cheerleader in college or high school is not going to be a requirement. Be glad she's healthy and makes good grades and stop
    Acting like someones' out to get her. Their not.

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