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SlantedEyez · Jan 20, 2003, 01:47 PM

I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months.. we love each other and everything is going great but I've become bored in the relationship. Its like we do the same things all the time.. go to the movies go eat go shopping.. He says he's spontaneous but he's scared I might not like what he wants to do so he just doesn't do anything new. Its frustrating because I hate monotony in a relstionship. I see other couples and the guy is giving the girl flowers n cards n surprises for no reason. How do I get my b/f to be more creative so that I feel more appreciated and interested? Please help!

Dominique · Jan 23, 2003, 02:53 PM

Just tell him exactly what you said in the post.

If you can't be this honest with him, it's not a good relationship.

dwalex · Jan 23, 2003, 03:49 PM

I'm going to have to stick with Dominick on this one, if you can't talk about this how are you going to handle "bigger" issues. Also, remember, it takes two to tango, demonstrate some sponinaity from your side as well and suggest things you would like to do.

Best wishes,
Dwalex

chaz1797 · May 14, 2003, 04:18 PM

Hi

Have you communicated your feelings to him and talked about ways to make the relationship continue and be more interesting... Communication is the key to resolving a lot of problems... Good luck and God Bless... Maybe you need to initiate an event that you do together and both will enjoy.

Chaz :)

moki_kk · Apr 1, 2007, 06:57 PM

I'm in the same boat... year and half now... and we are in routine, comfortable, have same future ideas, love each other's family... I feel like we are separate, but together, love to eat and watch TV... and we have 2 dogs, that we are crazy about... he;s trustworthy, stable... cute, can be so funny, love laughing with him... but our sex life sucks right now, because we are so comforable and stuck in routine... we are both insecure, too nervouse to make the first move... but when we have fun, we have fun... when we are bored, sooo bored... he seems fine with this, but states that he wants more... so, do it I say... but frustrating because he hurt his knee and can't do much (when the knee feels better he plays ball, and re-hurts it... frustrating)... I'm like what about the fun we can have together if your knee feels good... we try to communicate, change happens slowly... but I believe in him, many imes I believe in us... back and forth, back and forth... I think we need to try communication skills in therapy... if one person has a problem, then both of you have a problem... would be nice to have non-partisan person be there...

carynb · Aug 24, 2009, 03:00 AM

I am in the same situation. With my boyfriend for just over a year. It's settled from passion to something just "the same" & I am bored to tears. We have awesome communication but feel like there's nothing else really there. Thought he was the man of my dreams but everything he does is slow. I hate the inactivity & I'm a person who needs some excitement. Now it's come home from work, make dinner, watch TV, go to sleep. I want more. Surely a relationship is supposed to be more passionate than this? Is it just me?

LJDK · Aug 24, 2009, 06:48 AM

Personally I think people are becoming more easily bored with their relationships because they fail to keep their own lives separate from the relationship. Failing to follow ones passion and dream one tends to look for that passion and dream in the relatioship. Something which is not possible.

For instance, the girl loves painting but doesn't do it anymore. Focusing all her attention on the relationship instead she is not being satisfied simply because the relationship is not painting.

Bah... possibly not applicable here but someone once said, a relationship should be a bonus to ones life, and not ones life.

talaniman · Aug 24, 2009, 07:28 AM

Stop depending on your partner to entertain you. Do that yourself without your partner, through what you enjoy, then if your bored, the blame is yours.