[vanheart]

Yup it is.

Stop worrying about her, just you and your strength.

How much more pain do you want to endure?

She's gone. You guys are done. Time to realize it.

The first step to healing.

You want to feel good or bad?

Up to you now.

[Outoftime44]

Yup it is.

Stop worrying about her, just you and your strength.

How much more pain do you wanna endure?

Shes gone. You guys are done. Time to realize it.

The first step to healing.

You wanna feel good or bad?

Up to you now.

Thanks a lot, you are right. Who cares about her? If she doesn't care about me, I got plenty of people who do. Family, friends... I tell them the truth about things. She exaggerates and lies and twists things to make herself look better. That is an incredible pressure to be under, incredible stress, and her stress got to me. If I told you some of the things that stressed her out... wow... well it got to me too.

I should be stronger than this, I will, I will.

[vanheart]

Yes, yes and yes.

Her stress isn't yours.

You are stress free now...

"she exaggerates and lies and twists things to make herself look better"

That's my ex in a nutshell.

Be glad to be away from that toxic crap.

[Outoftime44]

Yes, yes and yes.

Her stress isnt yours.

You are stress free now...

"she exaggerates and lies and twists things to make herself look better"

Thats my ex in a nutshell.

Be glad to be away from that toxic crap.

Do you have a thread here about yours?

Still though, I have never had so much fun as with my ex, but not trusting someone is no fun. The celeb she kissed is the biggest douchebag in the world, and I resented her and was scared of it happening again, in fact sure it would happen again, and I kept being anchored back to that feeling.

So it was the night of my first law school final and she texts about seeing him, then about him talking to her, and touching him, then at bar closing him kissing her... then she fell asleep drunk and wouldn't answer the phone, then for 2 days denied she did anything wrong, before giving in and professing her love for me and sorrow. But the damage was done in that time. She then told me I betrayed our trust by telling my friends about it, and it would make them think bad of her (obviously). Yet she told me he kissed her and she pushed him away, but she told some of her friends he made out with her to make her look cooler to them.

Honestly, what kind of two faced ***** does something like that? Tells me what I want to hear, and then others what she thinks they want to hear? Is there a real truth in her head somewhere?

I tihnk it is, it is her insecurity... and she knows it and I'm the only one in the world besides her who knows it.

[vanheart]

Yup. I dated a user narcissist for 5 years long distance.
Don't judge. Click on my link.

Dude, vent away, but all that's in the past.

Listen to the stuff you endured. I know, it all comes biling back, but like I said, be happy its done.

Screw her any any other guy she's with. Whoooo. Cares.

[Outoftime44]

Yup. I dated a user narcissist for 5 years long distance.
Dont judge. Click on my link.

Dude, vent away, but all thats in the past.

Listen to the stuff you endured. I know, it all comes biling back, but like I said, be happy its done.

Screw her any any other guy shes with. Whoooo. cares.

Read a bunch of your thread and will finish the rest tomorrow. Glad to see you made it with NC and through your journey. I'm ready for mine! Thanks.

Past only exists in my head. Got to remember that. And I got to remember that I WAS the one having panic attacks, I WAS the one getting angry at her, I WAS the one being put in bad moods, I WAS the nervous one brought into her stress and insecurity... I subconsciously was sabatoging it. Sad cause she did/does still love me, but there was a reason for everything and I have learned so much in this past month... so much.

It is not just about re-building my confidence.

[vanheart]

Thanks for reading, but a long & boring one.

"did/does still love me"

Don't bet on that. That's your thoughts. You can't get inside her, just you. Regardless of what she may have said.

"It is not just about re-building my confidence."

Its everything about that right now. To get back to the simple pleasure in life. Not the BS.

To be better than you were before you met her.

[Outoftime44]

Ahh I am going crazy today. I want to talk to her so much. Literally I am regressing... only remembering the good things, and the things I did wrong... I'm holding off on communiating with her because no good will come from that, but I keep being reminded about good things about her non stop... I keep putting her on a pedestal and wanting her back... even though she has seemingly for sure moved on

She's moved on and I am stuck in a rut for a month now

[vanheart]

Just stay NC, you can do it.

Soon you will knock her off that pedestal.

Takes time.

[Outoftime44]

I am wanting her back more and more, I want to just have a conversation with her... UGGH or I want to tell her how ****ed up she is

[vanheart]

Don't. Doing that wouldn't make any difference anyway.

You would still be dumped & feel more pain.

Try & stay as busy with other things as possible.

This is all normal.

Remember that this girl doesn't define who you are.

[Outoftime44]

You're right, and I let it define who I am, and got myself in this mess... Thought she was my best friend, someone I could always rely on, but it was messed up. Wish I could just make her go away, it bothers me she is so happy now and I am suffering.

[vanheart]

She is gone.

Whether she is happy, sad or whatever.

No longer your worry.

The only thing you need to be concerned with is rebuilding & enjoying life. Using this lesson for later.

That's the beauty of NC.

[Outoftime44]

She is gone.

Whether she is happy, sad or whatever.

No longer your worry.

The only thing you need to be concerned with is rebuilding & enjoying life. Using this lesson for later.

Thats the beauty of NC.

I'm regressing, and becoming hopeful she'll come back as she loved me. I'm feeling so much remorse for screwing things up, I am functioning less and less.

Going to try and see a therapist.

[vanheart]

Not a bad idea.

I wouldn't dwell on false hope or start pointing fingers at yourself.

Remember what's done is done.

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to get up, dust ourselves off & use our precious time constructively.

There's a positive side to everything. Find it.

[0rphan]

Sometimes relationships just break up:no one to blame.

This was a very obssesive relationship where any intrusion by a third party, was always going to upset the balance you held between you both:the outside world was kept at a distance which is where you were both happy to leave it.

Unfortunately to enable your relationship to remain fresh and alive new input is required and of coarse with that comes all the complications of disagreements,which is what has happened here.

You were unhealthily addicted to each other, almost like a drug until in the end, your relationship suffocated under the pressures of just life in general,both of you blaming each other.

I think you have to accept it as lifes learning curve and move on.

Who knows what the future may bring...

[vanheart]

"You were unhealthily addicted to each other, almost like a drug"

Now you're in rehab. To get better.

Some people are meant to be, some for only a short time, others never.

That's life.

The sooner you accept things, the sooner you can enjoy your new life. One without obsessiveness or manipulation.

Like 0rphan says "Who knows what the future may bring........"

Way better things, Im sure.

[Outoftime44]

Sometimes relationships just break up:no one to blame.

This was a very obssesive relationship where any intrusion by a third party, was always going to upset the balance you held between you both:the outside world was kept at a distance which is where you were both happy to leave it.

Unfortunately to enable your relationship to remain fresh and alive new input is required and of coarse with that comes all the complications of disagreements,which is what has happened here.

You were unhealthily addicted to each other, almost like a drug until in the end, your relationship suffocated under the pressures of just life in general,both of you blaming each other.

I think you have to accept it as lifes learning curve and move on.

Who knows what the future may bring........

Very good observations... Thanks for the insight. We both handled things horribly. Both delusional...

[Outoftime44]

"You were unhealthily addicted to each other, almost like a drug"

Now youre in rehab. To get better.

Some people are meant to be, some for only a short time, others never.

Thats life.

The sooner you accept things, the sooner you can enjoy your new life. One without obsessiveness or manipulation.

Like 0rphan says "Who knows what the future may bring........"

Way better things, Im sure.

It's so hard to end my obsessiveness, when I got suckered into it all... out of character for me. The bad things that always put me in a bad mood around her, I was really starting to be not happy, are fading out of my memory and I got no confidence and no best friend.

[vanheart]

Someone told me when I was feeling that way was:

Your self-esteem is yours not hers. So true.

Im glad you understand that this was toxic and made you feel bad.

With time & work you will feel better, get yourself back.
To be one that is stronger & more aware.

Try not to dwell on the past. Just use the things you are learning to your advantage.

BTW, she's no "best friend" Never was.
Friends love unconditionally.