[bellcamp123]

I think my husband is cheating but I don't have any proof. What do I do?

[QLP]

What makes you think he is cheating?

[bellcamp123]

He lies to me about whose calling on his phone. He hides his emails from me. I see sign that someone else been seating in the car. He lies about everything I ask him. I gets very upset and angry to the point he wants to physically hurt me. He says if I don't see him with any one to say nothing.
He says I should keep my mouth close and everything be OK. He isn't intimate with me no more.

[QLP]

I don't know if he is cheating but I do know he should not be treating you this way. You should not feel that he may physically hurt you and he should not be telling you to keep your mouth closed. He should be willing to discuss things with you, including the lack of intimacy. These things alone are bad enough without the fact he may be cheating as well.

Why do you want proof? Is it because you think you might be wrong and are looking for excuses for his bad behaviour or is it so you can have better grounds for divorce? Sorry I don't know what your country and culture is so that makes it harder to work out.

[bellcamp123]

I don't want any proof he told me I have to get proof before I acuse him of any thing. I don't want to divorce. I just want to be able to trust him again.

[redhed35]

Does he see that your marriage is in trouble?

Would he go to councilling with you?

Is he willing to talk things out and get back on track?

If not,are you willing to live this way?

[Jake2008]

I would be suspicious as well, and I can understand why the signs you see, would at least make you wonder what he's up to.

Plus he makes you out to be suspicious and unreasonable, and asks you to prove he's cheating- his anger over 'nothing' is suspicious in itself.

It is enough that you are feeling insecure in your marriage, and things are not going well, to address that, perhaps in marriage counselling where he can't pull the same behaviour. If he is totally and completely innocent of anything, he should go simply to put your mind at ease and stop the ridiculous accusations right?

It is his behaviour that is causing a problem, and it is important you stay strong until you get the answers you need. You could be completely wrong, or, you could be completely right. Either way, it is next to impossible to live with someone who continuously denies any wrongdoing by shifting the focus from themselves, onto their partner- you.

But, it is up to you. You have to decide what you can live with, and what you can't. There are concrete steps you can take (marriage counselling), to help work through the problems in the marriage. He may refuse, and things may become even more unstable, with the temper he has shown.

In which case, think ahead a little bit, and think about what you are prepared to do.

One thing for sure, if you don't address the issues, with him, and take steps to get your marriage back on track, you will be asking the same question a year from now.

[bellcamp123]

Thank so much for your comments. I do have a lot to think about.

[JudyKayTee]

You can always hire an investigator and get proof - if you really want to know.

[beachloverjohn]

Does it really matter if he is cheating? He sounds like a real class act. Mentally he cheats on you everyday. Even if he never cheated, it doesn't sound like he has any respect for you, and certainly doesn't care about your feelings.

[Devorameira]

Doesn't it bother you that he talks poorly to you and that you are afraid that he may harm you? He sounds like a complete jerk to me.

If you are going to cope with his horrible behavior and threatening attitude, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd also cope with his cheating on you, so why bother finding out at all if you don't want to divorce him?

[slapshot_oi]

I couldn't agree more with Devorameira.

You're better off remaining ignorant to his suspected cheating given you don't plan on divorcing him.