[walton_kyle]

How do it say this..

Well I'm 19 never had a girlfriend and stuff. I'm surpirsed I talk to them and it get no furtehr than that.

Either we good friend or they just don't like me. I feel I'm just ugly and fat, girls who know me say I'm funny, nice and this and that...they never mentition why they don't fidn me interesting. I'm tired of getting embrassed and the run around. What can I do?

[nadia7526]

Hello.
The peoblem may just be that your afraid if you ask on of your "friends" out that you will be rejected. You will never know unless you try ::) My brother did not have the guts to ask a "friend" out until he was 20 and his relationship lasted 10 1/2 years and three kids. So just go for it. The only thing that can happen is that she will turn you down and that won`t kill you.

NADIA

[dwalex]

This is one of those things that you just have to "go for it". If you have the ability to converse with a girl, that's 3/4 of the battle. Now you just have to ask the right thing. Pick one who you know is not otherwise involved and that you think you would like to get to know better and tell her, "hey, I like you and I was wonderring if you would like to go on a real date" or something like that in your own words. Another option is personal adds in newspaper or online but I don't think you would have to go that route since you are comftorable talking to ladies.

Best wishes,
Dwalex

[Mr_Big]

Hello Kyle.

I believe that in order to find a partner, in my experience, one needs to take certain properties of their own characteristics and see how that "mingles" with other people. Women ARE people, not sex objects like some people would like them to be. I believe that when you can feel good about yourself, people will look at you with respect. Some people (both men and women) have difficulty in expressing the way they feel to others for whatever reason (insecurity, self-unworthiness etc). This gives out a negative aura. I am not saying that this is you, in this case, I would just like to share my thaughts on the subject of dating in the hope that it helps you to perceive things from a different angle.
Here are areas that should be recognised as "important factors" in finding a partner.

1. Be a VERY good listener.

Women often stereotype men (as do men to women) as having short attention spans. Listening to women means that you ARE trying to see their points of view. I don't mean that you have to agree with every woman you see, but at least look at them in the eyes and concentrate on what they are saying, with a view to seeing life from their perspective. This in-turn will show that you are capable of understanding. This is important, not only previous to the first date, but throughout the time spent being with each other, either as friends, or whatever.

Women (who aren't players) do like men who will listen to them, that is, not butt-in whilst they are explaining things to you. Women who are players are generally easy to spot and are not worth the stress (at least in my view, anyway).

2. Be yourself.

Don't try. This point is well worth taking into consideration. When approaching a perspective partner (initially), don't make it look like you absolutely have to be with her. This will put pressure on them and in most cases be destructive, more then constructive.

3. Don't be afraid to ask.

I agree with the previous post that you should feel free to ask this person to go out on a date. I would generally pre-plan the outing. If it is a music venue that you want to go to, then make sure it is happening first. Pick somewhere that you know or feel she would like to go to. You may also be expected to allow her friend to come along. Agree with this, but don't expect that you will have to pay to go out with them as well.

4. Don't make a meal of it.

When suggesting to go out, I would generally take it as a "I would like to get to know you more". Seeing it from this perspective will reduce a majority of pre-date paranoia that will occur once you have asked them. It will also give them more reason to open-up during the date.

5. Alcohol.

Keep the levels low. Keeping the amount of alcohol you drink down to a very low level will ensure the person you are with that you are more interested in what they have to say, then making a fool of yourself. I have heard enough stories about this one to write a book (which I'm not going to). You should know your limit. If not, just stick to soda.

6. Cleanliness.

Don't under-do it, or OVERDO it. Both of these have an instant and sometimes long lasting impact on how they see you as a person. Try not to overwhelm them with Jazz and Opium Pour Homme and Bath Soak and...
... You will suffocate them.

OK, so to wrap it up: Be Yourself. Be Clean. Don't be shy, but don't be abnoxious either. Be considerate but don't let them take you for granted. Listen to them and under no circumstances "butt-in" on their topic of conversation.
;)
Hope this helps.
Mr Big.

[dwalex]

You just got to ask, and if the first 50 say "no", ask another 50. Trust me they will not all say no and as you prove to yourself that the world does not end when theys say "No" it will get easier to ask the next one.

Best wishes,
Dwalex

[noredine]

:)In some cases,a teen-age may be severely shocked-and burdened with intolereble shame-if he/she be comes aware that he/she's not liked or rejected or that his/ her love is not returned... it is merely a brief phase you are going through,if it is soon replaced by normal dating activities.There is nothing to be gained by making an issue of it.
What makes a man admired is his powerful personality,his perseverance... a frail freakish man makes him a persona no grata.

God bless
Noredine

[chaz1797]

You know your young and you have a low self esteem of yourself, snap out of it and change your ways sometimes if you project yourself as being a negative person people don't want to be around you... Your looks should have nothing to do with getting a girlfriend, maybe you need a new look... so get to it and good luck... best of wishes... and luck...

Chaz 8)