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    chosen1's Avatar
    chosen1 Posts: 60, Reputation: -7
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Dec 18, 2006, 12:19 AM
    asked to go out by the x??
    Were in our early twenty's and we lived together for two years and I thought the grass was going to be greener on the otherside... it wasn't. We have been apart for six months and have been dating other people. I did the whole N.C. rule for about three months got over the grieving but of coarse miss her. We are great friends and talk about once a week but she has began to contact me more. We have not gone out on a date or anything but have met and said hello like at our works. She asked me the other day if I could take her shooting at the old shooting range here we once visited before. I told her to call me next week sometime about going. No matter what you people say about ex's -neg. stuff- I'm going to try it one more time. I just wanted a little positive advice leading me in the right direction. I also already bought her a tiffany's necklace of her initial and wondering how a good idea would be to give it two her for x-mas. There still is the spark between us on both sides of the stick. I need to get some courage and try it one more time even if it kills me because I have to know for myself and if it doesn't work then I will completely shut her out of my life. Can I get some positive advice here I love this girl to death and see myself growing old with her. Thanks everyone
    Makiavelic76's Avatar
    Makiavelic76 Posts: 96, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 18, 2006, 01:12 AM
    Cho man, is there any previous post of your story so I can catch up, I mean what was your problems that lead you guys to a separation?
    chosen1's Avatar
    chosen1 Posts: 60, Reputation: -7
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Dec 18, 2006, 01:24 AM
    Well I was 21 when we first started dating and she was 19.. she didn't like the fact of me going to bars or going places with my guy friends where other girls would be. I think she thought I would find another girl or something... I then still wanted to do these things because I felt like they were normal things... I never did anything with other girls to make her think like I was messing around on her.. but she knew a lot of girls were after me because of my looks and money I have... anyway I did went out anyway and started getting caught in little lies about where I was because she didn't wanted me there... basically we were young and jealous and had some trust issues with me.. we have grown up a lot since then... I moved out of our place one day cause I was fed up with her b.s. and called her bluff about how she didn't want to be with me anymore.. so I moved home with my folks who lived an hour away and after like two months she starting dating some knuckle head who she isn't with anymore... I has a lot of new gf's in that different town and I finally cut her off for a while.. then one time I texted her back and are friend ship slowly but surely came back.
    rol's Avatar
    rol Posts: 804, Reputation: 162
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 18, 2006, 05:34 AM
    Well take it SLOWLY with her if you decide to get back together. Communicate about what went wrong and why it went wrong... Tell her exactly what you want and need and ask her this also.
    Hopefully now you have both got your lives back on track so that you will not suffocate each other.
    Good luck , and let us know how it goes.
    rol's Avatar
    rol Posts: 804, Reputation: 162
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 18, 2006, 05:37 AM
    <<i then still wanted to do these things because I felt like they were normal things>>

    They are normal things, so make sure that she understands all this before you start with her again otherwsie it will end up the same way!. tell her you need that and insist that she does the same with her friends also.
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Dec 18, 2006, 05:49 AM
    Frankly, I question whether either of you have matured as much as you think you have while you were apart, but I can see you're determined to give it another go, so good luck. You may as well finish learning your lessons with each other as with someone else. At least you won't be starting from scratch. Go slow is always good advice.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 18, 2006, 11:00 AM
    Go slow, talk and listen.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Dec 18, 2006, 01:58 PM
    Ditto what Tal said.

    Just go very slow, no need to rush back into things and spend every waking hour with her.

    Listen to her. Make sure you do things better this time to ensure the failings of the last time don't rear their ugly head again.

    The pair of you must communicate openly and constantly in order for this to work!

    Good luck. Hopefully we might hear a positive story here for once about someone and their ex making things right!

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