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just10Xin6mo · Jul 24, 2010, 08:40 PM

We've been dating for almost three years. The first two were fine. I knew he wanted me--the way he'd look at me, touch me. We had sex regularly. But over the last six months, things have taken a turn. He still will cuddle me in bed, but I have a feeling that it's just how he is comfortable. I'll pet his head, stomach, and legs sensually, then, after a while, he'll just say, "I want to roll, now" and he'll just rolls over and fall asleep. In the middle of the night, he'll roll back over and cuddle me again. He wakes up every morning with a visible erection, but still he won't have sex with me. I make subtle hints. I ask him what's changed between us and he says, "nothing." I've told him that I would have sex with him every minute of every day if he'd have me, but still he won't. He insists he still loves me the same way. We've only had sex probably 10 times in the last 6 months. I can't take it anymore. This is really bringing myself confidence down. I could easily find someone who wants me. If I didn't love him so much, I'd just leave. I'm so frustrated. I've reached my breaking point.

QLP · Jul 25, 2010, 03:32 AM

Maybe it's time to be a little less subtle, both in your approach to sex and in your hints.

Maybe he is hoping for some all out seduction from you rather than subtlety.

If that doesn't work then it's time for a proper talk not hinting. You need him to know you are unhappy and you need to find out what's going on. Remember libidos are fragile so anything from work problems to money worries can cause it to diminish. So if he really isn't that interested, stop assuming it's about you, and find out why. There's a lot of focus on how you want him to make you feel good but remember it's a two way street and we all have to take responsibility in a relationshiip.

Cat1864 · Jul 25, 2010, 10:35 AM

You need to talk to him. No hints and wishing. Be open and honest and listen to what he has to say like you want him to listen to you.

Something else to do is to look the things that can affect libido such as any changes in your lives that occurred about the time the sex slowed down; pregnancy scares; children; work stress; family stress; health issues; etc.

Morning erections are not an indication of arousal. By now, you have been with him long enough to know it is more likely a need to use the bathroom.

TruthSayer0122 · Jul 26, 2010, 01:56 PM

You are not a mind reader. You can try the whole seduction thing. But its not all about him. If yourself esteem is lowered that is more important than anything. Get sexy and go out with the girls. Put the focus back on you. You can bring up this topic and if he continues to say "nothing" then you are going to have to be honest with yourself. You know its something. It seems if there was something you could he would have said it by now. Some possible issues with him: Porno addiction, cheating,physical or mental issue.