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passionkeeper · Jul 23, 2010, 09:59 PM

I have always adored my man, he has recently admitted to having sexual feelings for his gay friend and wanted to explore it further. I want to know if it is possible for a man to get sick of gay sex and return to heterosexual sex. I want to hold on tight to him but I know he must find himself and find out who he is before he can come back. I am hurting so much but I want him to be safe and happy. I have no one to talk to and I know he loves me but is it enough? Do they ever turn back? If you have heard of someone who has please let me know.

Clough · Jul 23, 2010, 10:31 PM

Hi, passionkeeper!

What do you mean by "come back", please? Has he left you?

Thanks!

Jlesnik33 · Jul 23, 2010, 11:52 PM

My uncle, by marriage was with my aunt and had 3 kids... Then told her he had feelings for the same sex, went to explore, and never turned back.

Let him do his thing, and don't hold it against him.. if he does come back, its for real, he just needed to find himself. And if he doesn't come back, At least you know he didn't stay in the relationship and lie to you the whole time, like my uncle did.

Give it time.. its hard to admit things like that.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 24, 2010, 07:14 AM

Gay, straight, or bi, none are excuses to cheat in and on a relationship. Cheating with a person of the same sex is no different than cheating with someone else of a different gender. It is still cheating.
So what he said basically I don't love you enough to be faithful and true to you.

Be glad and lucky if he does not want to come back, you don't need someone who thinks so little of you

Cat1864 · Jul 24, 2010, 12:08 PM

This may seem harsh to you, but please think about it:

How old are both of you?

I dislike saying it, but I think he knows more about what he wants than he is telling you. A person doesn't leave the person 'he loves' to possibly destroy a friendship if he doesn't have a very good idea of what and who he really wants.

I think you need to let him go and move on with your life. Don't wait around for him to decide you are the one he wants to fall back on if the gay friend decides to dump him. You are worth more than being some male's back-up plan. You deserve someone who will be there for you and not you and who ever he wants to 'explore' with.

Really, if it were another woman, what would you say? Would you let him go find 'himself' in other women's beds because he wanted to 'explore' what sex with other females than you is like?

Rich11111 · Jul 24, 2010, 02:21 PM

Ignore his sexuality for the moment. Weather he is gay or straight concentrate on the fact that this is a guy who left you to have sex with someone else, with the expectation that you will still be there waiting for him if it isn't as good as he hopes.

Do you really want to wait to see if this guy he prefers you, what if he does come back only to meet someone else who he wants to explore with. If you take this man back you are basically giving him permission to cheat as long as he asks first.

JudyKayTee · Aug 7, 2010, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Jlesnik33

my uncle, by marriage was with my aunt and had 3 kids... Then told her he had feelings for the same sex, went to explore, and never turned back.

Let him do his thing, and dont hold it against him.. if he does come back, its for real, he just needed to find himself. And if he doesnt come back, At least you know he didnt stay in the relationship and lie to you the whole time, like my uncle did.

give it time.. its hard to admit things like that.

Sorry, got to disagree - cheating is cheating (if that's what is going on). Doesn't matter if it's with a woman, man or barnyard animal.

It's a lie and it goes against the basic premise of a marriage.

positiveparent · Aug 8, 2010, 12:26 AM

OP by agreeing to your b/f going off to find out if he prefers having sex with a male or female, is absolutely not the done thing, youre giving him consent to cheat on you, sex with any other person male or female in a relationship, is cheating, as someone else has already said what if he decides he didnt find out what he wanted to with just the one other bedmate, are you going to say ok dear off you go find out if its what you want with this one, and whilst youre at it check out a few more just to be on the safe side, talking about safe is he planning on having safe sex or wont you find that out until youve caught an STD or AIDS, you know its rife amongst bisexuals I hope.

Please tell him to go find out and not come back, unless you want to end up being his stop off sex partner. You must respect yourself, or you wont be respected in return.