[NJRoadie]

Here are the questions people ask me most frequently, with my answers!

I'd love to hear other what questions other people are asked!

How are you sure your homeschooled child is properly socialized?

Many people assume the only way a child can learn to play with others is to be in a classroom of 20 other kids the same calendar age, sitting at desks for 6 hours a day. To me this is just not the best way to learn real world social skills!

How does spending your entire day with age-grouped peers prepare you to socialize in the diverse real world? How many times are best friends separated at school, lest they talk during class? How many schools now have silent lunches because they think it helps to maintain discipline (to the detriment of socialization)? How many children are bullied without any interference from the school staff?

Children have more time and opportunities to socialize at home than in a school environment. They play with neighborhood friends on a daily basis. They also accompany their parent to the bank, library, supermarket, and post office, where they interact with a diverse group of people in the real world.

Homeschoolers volunteer in the community. They work. They take classes (yes, amazing isn't it? They take classes!) with a group of children interested in the same thing. They are in scouts, and 4H, and dance team and sports teams and youth group and church groups - all with public, private, and other homeschooled children.

They have had more opportunities to learn social skills to cope with the outside world than public school kids because they are in the outside world now - not the artificial world of public school. Other than the 13 years in public school, when do you spend the majority of your day with people within 2 years of your age? When are you in a situation where you cannot escape from a bully? I'm not trying to hide her from the world. I'm trying to give her a bigger picture than the four walls of a schoolroom.

How do you know your homeschooled child is learning if she isn't tested?

How did you know your child was learning to walk or talk - because you were there and saw them doing it! You interact with your children while you are working with them. I can assess how much my child understands by her questions (and responses to my questions) during our discussions. I quickly figure out if she was paying attention, is confused about a particular point or has a handle on what we just covered. It is also amazing how much knowledge comes pouring out in regular conversation. Since we aren't dealing with overcrowded classrooms and mandates on how many kids have to "pass", we can deal with areas a child doesn’t understand until they get it. And it usually doesn't take as long as it would in public school, because instead of a lucky 15 minutes a day of personal attention, our kids get hours of it.

Tests are great when you are dealing with a large group of kids that you only interact with for minutes each day so that you can't really gage what they get and what they don't. It's quite a bit different when you're working one-on-one, and much of the study is discussion. Imagine having an oral exam every day, and you can see why many homeschoolers have a good handle on where their kids are in relationship to the material.


How can you teach your child without a teaching degree? Isn’t that a state requirement?

I attended college and graduated with a BS in Biology, a minor in Chemistry and was only 6 credits shy of a BS in Elementary Education. I had a perfect A average in all of my education classes, I taught in four different elementary schools, and I can honestly say this experience gave me no insight when it came to homeschooling. Having a teaching degree is not necessary, or even helpful, in teaching your own. It is not required by my state (NJ) law to have a teaching degree in order to homeschool, nor is it needed to teach in a private school. Yep, in my state you can pay big bucks and (gasp!) have your child taught by an uncertified teacher in private school!

Isn't it hard to teach your own child? You must be rich to do this!

Yes, in some ways it is. Homeschooling definitely is not for everyone. It is very self-selecting. No one chooses to do this because it is the easier choice. A few families do try out homeschooling, find it doesn't work for them and put the kids into public school.

Many of those who home school do not have large incomes but live with tight budgets, fewer indulgences and lots of family dedication. They still manage to get out and be involved in their communities and still teach the academics. There is no set mold and yet, on the whole the children are learning the core academic knowledge while growing and developing into people who care, get involved and effect changes. It is also a myth that only a family where one parent stays home full time can homeschool. I personally work 2 days a week as a chemist, and I know others who are single parents and still manage it. Not easy, but possible.

Why do you homeschool?

This answer varies from family to family. I personally homeschool because it allows us to tailor my child's education to fit her needs. She is allowed to work at her own pace. It also allows much more time to explore topics of interest to her in great depth.

How can she learn tolerance if she isn't in public school?

My school experience was not one of tolerance - everyone was very much noticed for every difference, and that attention was rarely positive.

How can kids learn to deal with bullies and the trauma of being picked
last for dodge ball unless they get out there and experience it?

Nobody needs to learn about hardships by being thrown into the middle of them without help. The fact that people so often do learn this way is merely very sad. It can work, it can be valuable, and one can survive unscathed, but the idea that this is the best we can do for our children is frankly pathetic.

The belief that educational institutions represent some kind of unique difficulty of life that must be faced sooner or later is patently false. School is not compulsory. Reality is.

Doesn't your homeschooled child miss riding the bus?

At first she longed to ride the bus! Then we had an opportunity to ride on one, and after the first few minutes she asked, "So what happens now?" and was very disappointed to discover that what we were doing was 'it'.



What about the prom?

Many homeschool groups sponsor proms, graduations, yearbooks and other events, which are thought to be the social highlight of a young teen’s life. New Jersey, in fact, has two separate homeschool proms, both of which are very well attended.

How long do you plan to do this? How can you possibly have knowledge of every subject you need to teach?

We take each year one at a time. I would ideally love to homeschool right up to college. Parents who choose homeschooling have a tremendous variety of materials and resources available: computer, Internet, software, pre-packaged curricula, workbooks from the teacher store, community college courses for teens, co-op classes, native speakers who will teach small groups a foreign language, theatre troupes, orchestras, and anything else you can think of. Having knowledge of every subject you want your child to learn is not necessary – the resources are available to help you, but you will need to be a go-getter type to seek them out.

So, you don't have any plans for your homeschooled child to go to college?

We will assist her in getting into any college she chooses. Schools from Harvard, Princeton, Yale and MIT seek out homeschoolers, as do other (less expensive!) schools. Not having a public high school diploma does not prevent homeschoolers from taking the SAT, ACT or even taking the Advanced Placement tests, which carry through as college credits. Many homeschoolers graduate with associate’s degrees when their same age public school peers are graduating from high school.

[maggiemae]

You are so right! I've homeschooled since 1994 & by far, they question I get asked the most is about socialization! I also get asked about sports a lot as I have one son who 'looks like a football player'. I'm sure there are some fine athletes out there, but I'm not interested in my son playing organized sports as a way to learn 'teamwork'. He plays a lot of 'backyard ball' with friends and thoroughly enjoys it.
I've had all the questions you listed, we ought to write a book about it!

[rodeogirl2you]

I'm so glad to hear other Moms that homeschool are happy to be doing it. I have a little girl age 6 and took her out of public school last Oct. She has had a lot of change in her life the past couple of years because of her biological father. Namely the loss of her new step mom, that her father ran over and killed last summer. She was not doing will in school when it started up in the fall and I was getting calls from the school everyday saying she was in the office complaining of a tummy ache and wanted to go home. After a couple of weeks of this and lots of prayer, my curent husband and I deciced it was time to do the homeschool thing. It has been such a blessing to us! I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old so things aren't always "Mary Poppins" style around our house, but I can tell you she is making straight A's and reading beyond a fourth grade level. Praise the Lord for other women that are willing to make a stand for our children and not go by what "society thinks" is best. Society is what's wrong with our world right now. The motto "It's all about me, and anything goes" is the biggest mistake that our children are making right now. It's not "All about me" its about raising our children to be respectful God honoring people. Keep it up girls, it gives us "new homeschoolers" lots of hope!

[quaint11]

As a homeschooling mother of 4, the most often asked question I get is, "How do you do it with four?"

I love to reply with, "The same as I would with one!"

Also, "What curriculum are you using?" is a close second.


I love homeschooling because as a single mother it allows me to live a fulfilling career, while being totally available for my children. I love the lifestyle, and my children are all the better for it. Thanks for sharing your questions and answers! :-)