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    hunnypooh97's Avatar
    hunnypooh97 Posts: 36, Reputation: 8
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    #1

    Jul 13, 2010, 10:41 AM
    Still sad about grandpa's death
    Just a quick question.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #2

    Jul 13, 2010, 12:22 PM

    When did he pass away?
    hunnypooh97's Avatar
    hunnypooh97 Posts: 36, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 13, 2010, 04:01 PM
    I am sorry again for this I am still new to this site..

    Anyway, to continue the story...

    My grandpa was in the hospital for more than a month (due to back problems), but one thing led to another (maybe due to stress he wanted to go home so badly) he ended up died from a heart attack.. he probably was alone when he passed away (hospital had very strict visiting hours which is only 3 hours per day)... I was devastated when I heard the news.. since I just came back from vacation (was in home country for about 2 weeks.. so yes I did get to visit him in the hospital while I was there) a month prior so I couldn't go back for the funeral (its like over 12 hours flight)..

    My grandpa has moved back to the home country about 15 yrs ago so I didn't get to spend time with him that often (he was a grumpy old man).. I still feel sad whenever I think about him.. although it might not matter anymore, but I still wish I can go back to home country soon just to visit his grave to pay some respect...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Jul 13, 2010, 04:48 PM

    I hope so too. Blessings to you and your family.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Jul 20, 2010, 08:26 AM

    You must do whatever will help you find peace - sometimes that's visiting a gravesite, sometimes it's writing a poem, releasing a balloon (I know, bad for the environment), whatever makes YOU feel better.

    Eventually you do get some sort of peace - grief is an odd thing and everyone has his/her own schedule and way of coping.
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #6

    Jul 21, 2010, 01:15 AM

    I'm sorry to read about your grandfather's death and your sadness. Can you talk to your parents or your grandmother if she is still alive? Maybe just learning more about your grandfather will help. If you aren't able to go to his gravesite, just thinking about him and talking about him will be a way of honoring him. One thing I have done in the past to honor the people I love is to plant a tree, bush or flowers in my yard in their honor.
    hunnypooh97's Avatar
    hunnypooh97 Posts: 36, Reputation: 8
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    #7

    Aug 11, 2010, 10:55 AM

    My mom and I talk about grandpa every now and then.. we laugh about the things that he did and how grumpy he could be sometimes...
    I hope in the near future I can go back to home country and visit his graveyard..
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
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    #8

    Aug 11, 2010, 12:38 PM
    I am so sorry for your loss. There are many ways to keep his memory alive until the day you can visit his grave. Why not talk with him? How do you know he isn't listening? Why not play some of his favorite songs?

    I had a brother Bruce that died when I was only 5 years old. I also had a brother-in-law Bruce that died of cancer. So to honor them both we planted a Spruce tree on our lawn. Now my son who has never met them both understands the meaning. He calls it our "Bruce Spruce"

    It seems fairly fresh still. If you don't mind me asking when exactly did he pass?
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #9

    Aug 11, 2010, 12:42 PM

    I hope you get to go there.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Aug 11, 2010, 01:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hunnypooh97 View Post
    my mom and I talk about grandpa every now and then.. we laugh about the things that he did and how grumpy he could be sometimes...
    i hope in the near future i can go back to home country and visit his graveyard..


    And you know what I found? He's not there, at the graveyard. He's in your heart. The graveyard is a piece of real estate.

    That's how it is for me, at least. No closure at graveside.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #11

    Aug 11, 2010, 01:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    And you know what I found? He's not there, at the graveyard. He's in your heart. The graveyard is a piece of real estate.

    That's how it is for me, at least. No closure at graveside.
    I agree with JudyKay! I hate that word closure and it has been so over used. There is no such thing as closure when you lose a loved one. There is learning to live with it. There is acceptance that they are gone.


    Closure is just a word. It doesn't mean you hurt all the time ,the pain does lessen and after a while you don't cry as much or hurt as much.
    You always miss them and years after they are gone that pain will hit you every once in a while and it makes you physically sick.

    As I said , it gets better and you learn to deal, but the memories will always be there. It does get better.:)
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