[garymcnamara]

I am 19. I have had a few realtionships, but nothing quite like this.

I met this girl in a night club, very beautiful, everything I ever wanted. I asked her out, and she said yes, that was 6 months ago.

Her problem, I think, is that she does not know what she wants. 6 weeks ago, she told me she had cheated on me. That she went to night club, saw this person, and kissed him. It was only a brief kiss, and that was it.

I forgave her, after all, a kiss is just a kiss.

But we were going through a rough patch, both of us, and shortly after we split up by mutual agreement. I really missed her, and wanted to get back with. I felt as though she did to.

I went away on holiday,but I phoned her, just to say hi. Because it was long distance it was not a long call.

I came back, but she did not ring. SO I phned her again. This time the converstion was a bit better. I told her I was going away again, but only for the weekend. I would giver her a ring on Saturday.

When I phoned her on the Saturday, the conversation was so strained that it did not feel right. Needless to say it was a short conversation, but we did agree to meet up.

I emaild her, and she said she missed me, and that the gifts I bought her reminded her of me.We agreed to meet up.  A glimmer of hope emerged. I rang her a couple for days later, to arrange a time. The conversation moved on to us, and next thing I know she says she does miss me, but not in the way that I wanted her to. She did not want to be with me now.

I said it was pointless meeting up, if we were not going to discuss us. She said fine, and that was the end of the conversation.

Needless to say I was really confused. Hot one minute (or so I thought), and cold the next.


That conversation was on Wednesday afternnon.I was heart broken for the rest of the afternoon, but I knew she was going out with a couple of friends that evening. So, a few of us went out. Needless to say we bumped into each other.

I said hello, she said hi. Next thing I know, she is kissing this person I have never seen before. My heart broke. I was drunk, so itold my friends that I was leaving, and as I was walking past her and her newly found plaything, I went up to her and said thanks allot.

I have to say, I love her, but I never told her that. She almost said it a couple for times, like "i love.." but always stopped short of you.

I believe she does not know what she wants. I would gladly give my life for her (although, I would give my life for any of my friends). But she is with him now. I fell so down. I feel as though this new boyfriend is not new, she may have met him in that night club 6 weeks ago. She hamstringed me, played with me. But I love her. I am a fool for saying this I know. But I would take her back after everything. What do I do. She is with this new guy, but I have a feeling that it is to get back at me, to rub my nose in it.. I have this feeling though, that she will be back.

Should I take her back in?  After all she has done? Will I get her back? What she has done is a true testement to her character. There were easier ways to let me down, gently. But if she has done this to me once, she can do it to me again.

But I lover her. Should I take her back in. Someone help me please, I can't read the signs she is giving off, like hot one minute, cold the next etc.. HELP!

[hatelove]

[img]URL[/img] Hey I know I'm young but I know when somebody is getting played. Lets say this first... ONCE A CHEATER... ALWAYS A CHEATER! Don't forget that. Well if someone knows how you feel about them and they continuously keep hurting you then you definitely don't need them. I have been through this before... I thought that I loved the boy and he kept treating me like crap and cheating on me... of course I would always take him back... BIGGEST MISTAKE! Give it time and you will find your TRUE love... I promise! There is always someone out there waiting for someone like you.

[dwalex]

You need to have more respect for yourself than to consider taking someone like this back. Like so many young people you place a lot of your sense of self worth on being in a relationship. You need to realize that you are a worthy capable person in a relationship or out. Your joy for living should originate from knowing who you are and being the type of person you can be proud of; for having dreams and goals that are worth while and for moving your life towards those dreams. Only after you are living the type of life that you can be proud of and have a joy for living can you offer what a worthy partner will need for a healthy relation. At that point, the relationship will add to your joy, not be the sole source of that joy.

In conclusion, LEAVE THE MANIPULATIVE GAME PLAYER behind, get your life in order and headed in a positive dirrection and the right person will come around when the time is right.

Best wishes,
dwalex

[chaz1797]

Hi
You knoow the saying is if you did it once you'll do it again... it seems like your fries is a player and is out to get what she wants no matter who gets hurt in the way... I say if this is meant to be, she'll come back, if not than tto bad for her... If she does come back set ground rules on feelings and what you should expect of each other and take it slow, showing how you feel sometimes to a person who has no respect for feelings can be dangerous, because the can do with you as they please... But you sound like a nice person and you deserve someone who is going to give you respect... Best of luck and God bless...

Chaz :)

[STRNGWMN]

I though men were the only ones who pulled that crap... Oh man life is too short to be unhappy find someone who isn't playing games with you .and no don't take her back if she wants back make her do the groveling and be the one kissing your to get you back she shouldn't mind doing that considering its obvious she doesn't care what (who ) she's kissing on the real though I'm sorry for your heart ache and don't give up on love you haven't even found it yet... take care...

[MrAdams]

Hey man listen up.. you are a young guy barely starting with your life... I have one question what is it you think she is getting back at you for by seeing this other guy ? She isn't.. at least from what you described giving you mixed signals you simply want her back bad enough that you misinterpret things... she told you that she doesn't miss you in the way that you would like her to miss you perhaps she just misses your company your friendship and talking in general I would assume she is close to you in age and maybe doesn't know quite what she wants a lot of people don't at your age the best advice I can give you is be a friend if its meant to be and if she loves you she will come back if you truly love her understand that she has the need and right to be happy and let her seek this out part of loving someone is sacrificing yourself it its for their happiness only time will tell what is going to come about just be patient and see but in the meantime do not put your own life on hold or get into a standstill... be there for her how she needs and wants you to be don't try to be anything more if this is hard from you simply separate yourself to avoid any further hurt on your part... also take into consideration of your true feelings for her would you rather her be with you and deep down she isn't ready.. then resentment build in your relationship.. or would you rather set her free and let her find in her heart what she wants...
If it is meant to be it will be..

[schuylervj]

She seems to be more interested in the idea of love than any actual, honest commitment. She is trying to get attention, and she has also made it clear, by her actions, that she is nowhere near ready for a monagamous relationship, no reflection on you personally. She may also not love herself enough, so that when someone shows a real, honest interest in her, she feels presssured and repulsed in a way, because she doesn't feel worthy, and views anyone who appears to have a genuine interest in her as a threat to her fantasy lifestyle. She ahas nothing to get back at you for, except the fact that you were real and she was not. You did nothing worng except fall for someone who is not ready, not honest and not mature enough to accept love from anyone. It would be surprisingly easy to get her back, but for what? She will, as you already know, continue this same behavior... and make you miserable on a continuous basis. She may even come after you, once she thinks you have lost interest. This is not a viable relationship for you; she will only continue to be a drain on your emotions. It isn't so much that she was hot and cold, it was that she was never really there at all, the way you were hoping she was.

[Kyjoe]

Move On Brother! Life is good... But too short to be :'(

[Krystal]

If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer...