Check out some similar questions!

Beautiful01 · Jul 10, 2010, 03:56 AM

He is a great guy never lies cheats or anything. But oneday he told me he had sex with a 14 yr old when he was 19 he said he did it with her more than once I think twice. He said it was a mistake and he realizes it was wrong. I'm 16 and he twenty now I know I young but 14 is too young. He said he didn't want me knowing because he didn't want me to look at him different or he didn't want to lose me. He says he wouldn't do it again. He almost got in trouble for it. He said it was a mistake and it was wrong he said he would never do it again. He says he has me and that's all he needs. How can I trust him again?

kutocer · Jul 10, 2010, 04:00 AM

Did he know she was 14 at the time or something he found out afterwards?

redhed35 · Jul 10, 2010, 04:40 AM

Your boyfriend had sex with a minor,and for all intents and purposes he should count himself lucky that he's not in prison or on a sex offenders list,you don't say if he knew she was 14 or not,even still,I'm betting she did not look 18.

You say he said he did not want you to look at him differantly,differantly how?

I have to say that this guy is a Pretorator,at 20 he has no business dating a 16 year old,you are at completely different stages in your lifes,should you trust him,I'm going to say no,why? Because he's man and you're a young teenage girl,not yet a women.

What's wrong with women his own age? I'm going guess that they see right through him,and that he has you hoodwinked into thinking he is the bees knees.

What do your friends think about him?

What do your parents think about him?

positiveparent · Jul 10, 2010, 06:03 AM

Sex with a 14yr old is against the law in the UK or the USA, and I believe in the USA it can be classed as statutory rape, however not in the UK, this Country doesn't prosecute under age sex offenders enough.

I don't know which country you are in you didn't say.

I agree with previous poster you are slightly young to be in a relationship with a 20 year old although I know it does happen.

I think you need to tell your parents about this and take advice from them.

As he's told you about this with the 14yr old I don't see why you cannot trust him, I would though be asking why he had sex with someone so young to begin with.

Did he know her age? I accept too that many 14 yr olds can and do look much older, need more background really to know what advice to give you.

talaniman · Jul 10, 2010, 06:34 AM

I see no difference between what he did in the past with what he is doing now. He likes underage girls, and almost went to jail for it. He could be in the same positions with you if your parents chose to go that way, and he has a history to refer to of messing with young girls. That's the point, and guess what, your doing the same thing the 14 year old probably was doing.

No you shouldn't trust him, I am sure no parent would, and if you ask your parents they will tell you the same.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 10, 2010, 07:52 AM

He likes much younger less mature girls, he has ( if age of consent in your area is 16) has merely decided to do it legal.

What does your parents think about you dating a 20 year old ?

And most likely when you get a couple years older, he will be looking for another 16 year old

cdad · Jul 10, 2010, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by Beautiful01

He is a great guy never lies cheats or anything. But oneday he told me he had sex with a 14 yr old when he was 19 he said he did it with her more than once i think twice. He said it was a mistake and he realizes it was wrong. I'm 16 and he twenty now i know i young but 14 is too young. He said he didn't want me knowing bcuz he didn't want me to look at him different or he didn't wanna lose me. He says he wouldn't do it again. He almost got in trouble for it. He said it was a mistake and it was wrong he said he would never do it again. He says he has me and thats all he needs. How can i trust him again?

You can't trust him again. Hes doing the same thing all over again with you. Also if you have younger sisters you need to keep them away from him. Temptation is always going to be there but the difference between a man and a boy is that the man actually takes responsibility and doesn't give in to temptation. Hes an adult.

cdad · Jul 10, 2010, 10:01 AM

Beautiful01 : I love him. And I do have younger sisters but if you met him you would think different of him. I know he wouldn't do it again. And it says in tha law its not illegal for 16 and 20 year old to date as long as there no sex.

I hate to burst your bubble but there are many aspects of dating that are illegal for a 16y/o and a 20 y/o. So his statement isn't entirely true. He could be crossing lines and getting into trouble very easily. Its not just about sex. There are many laws on the books to protect children from preditors.

redhed35 · Jul 10, 2010, 10:02 AM

"Beautiful01 : My mom likes him because he has manners. and he really nice my mamaw likes him too but my mom thinks he 17 he actually like like a 16 year old. My mamaw knows his real age tho. She fine with it but my mom wouldn't be. He isn't a bad guy. I wish you c"

There should be an answer box so you can fill in your full post.

I really believe that you think he is a nice guy,and also,if you think your mother would not be happy about his age,you should not hide it,nor his past.

We all have a past,and mostly they should stay there,but sometimes like in your guys case,the past needs to be out in the open.

Talk to your mother,get her take on things,tell her the truth.

Beautiful01 · Jul 10, 2010, 10:04 AM

I did ask him what so young and he said he was stupid. He told me when he found out my age he was scared but he said I was tha prettiest girl he ever met and he said I was too good of a girl to pass up.

cdad · Jul 10, 2010, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by redhed35

"Beautiful01 : My mom likes him because he has manners. and he really nice my mamaw likes him too but my mom thinks he 17 he actually like like a 16 year old. My mamaw knows his real age tho. She fine with it but my mom wouldn't be. He isn't a bad guy. I wish you c"

there should be an answer box so you can fill in your full post.

i really believe that you think he is a nice guy,and also,if you think your mother would not be happy about his age,you should not hide it,nor his past.

we all have a past,and mostly they should stay there,but sometimes like in your guys case,the past needs to be out in the open.

talk to your mother,get her take on things,tell her the truth.

First red flag here is that you can't tell your mom his real age? You need to get away from this guy.

jmjoseph · Jul 10, 2010, 10:18 AM

In ten years a four year age difference won't be as important as it is now. Now, it might be illegal. I'm quite sure that sex with a 14 year old would have been cause for criminal charges.

I think you should tell your mother the truth.

Why does she think that he is 17? Who told him that?

MackenziesMoon · Sep 28, 2011, 03:17 PM

Okay, well first of all, I am 16 and I know that sometimes, the fact they are 20 kind of vanishes from your mind when you like someone, but you really should be careful about this relationship.

He is VERY lucky he didn't get into serious trouble for what he did, but even so, you must wonder WHY at 19 he would even CONSIDER sex with a 14 year old!

I know it's your life and you feel like you love him, but I hope to God you haven't had sex with him yet. If not, please don't just because the law says you can or because you think he will leave you if you don't.

I know you may believe he won't cheat or lie to you, but he has and "I didn't want you to think of me any different" is him just charming his way out of it.

You might be able to forgive what he did, even though I'm not sure I would, but don't 100% trust him again for a while because that is a serious thing to hide from someone he "didn't want to lose" because he DID lie to you...

Good luck,
Mackenzie xx