[modernromance09]

I'm a 20 year old female who does absolutely nothing all day every day. I have started going to college, but am a year behind, and now will be even further behind due to my license being suspended over two moving violations within a year. I drink all night, every night, and sleep all day. When I don't drink I am extremely susceptible to having an anxiety attack. I don't have any real friends, because I don't allow people to get close to me. I have a boyfriend who I have been dating for about 2 months, we hang out all the time, but I have no trust for him, or any one for that matter. When I told my mom I was thinking about breaking up with him because I've met cuter guys who seem less dramatic, she told me I am going to end up sad and alone, which I honestly think may be the truth. I have no idea who or what I want in life. I don't even know who I am myself. I don't know if I'm being smart by not letting anyone close to me so I have no chance in getting hurt, or stupid because I'll always be alone. I just don't see how I can ever be in a serious relationship or even have a friendship when I have so little trust for people, no self confidence, and really don't want to do much else other than drink to the point I forget I have any problems. I know this sounds extremely dramatic and ridiculous but I'm just not really sure what to do with myself.

[J_9]

The first thing you need to do is stop drinking. The booze will cause everything you are describing.

[redhed35]

There are 12 sentences in your post and 16 referances to I don't want,don't know or some other negative thinking.

So you know what you don't want,

What DO YOU want?

You know on the surface that things in your life are not the way you invisioned,so what do you need to do to turn that around.

Only you can make the changes,only you know what you want,and what will make you happy.

You need a plan and a goal,when you have that,ask yourself how can I get what I want,what do I need to do?

Then do that.

If the reality is you can't do it one way,find another,you are the only block to getting what you want in life and finding happiness and contentment.

[I wish]

Identifying the problem is a first step. There are support systems out there, but you need to take a proactive approach to helpilng yourself.

Take these next 2 steps:

1) Stop drinking. If you're an alcoholic, go to AA. Go to rehab.

2) Get some professional help, in terms of therapy or psychologist. You sound depressed and you should get some help.

[Clough]

Hi, modernromance09!

Yes, please stop the drinking. You'll have a much clearer head that you'll then be able to use to help you to figure out solutions to other problems that you're having.

Obviously, you're reaching out here to try to find solutions. Why not around where you are with people that you can meet with face-to-face? You can do that, you know? It's a matter of choice...

Please try going to A.A. Please go to at least check things out and reach out to others. You'll find many others who have been like you are now. It's free and to attend and just listening would be perfectly fine. If you go, it will also help you to find who and what you are.

I know all about the being confused and having anxiety attacks. I drank for many, many years and am now an active member of A.A. What happened though, is that it took me being forced to go to the hospital because I was drinking myself to death. There were two choices available to me - get help or die.

The point is, that you need to do something. Who and what you are, are decisions that only you alone can and need to make. But, you don't have to feel that you are alone and that there is no help available.

The choice is yours...

I wish, hope and pray only the best for you!

Thanks!

[TruthSayer0122]

We all have problems and can't control the cards we are dealt. You don't need to be in a relationship. Like everyone else posted stop drinking. Being sober makes you want to face your problems sooner because you are forced to feel. That's what emotions are for-to alert that something is not right. Use your school's counseling services. There is nothing wrong with being alone. You have to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Talk to a professional your mother advising you not to break up with your boyfreind for the fear of being alone is not healthy.

[YeloDasy]

Sounds like it is easier to just not trust and be alone... so do you secretly want to be miserable? No! You just don't know how to be comfortable in your own skin and have not dealt with things in your life that have created your feelings now. Go to therapy and have someone to talk to weekly. Just from scratch and deal with one thing at a time... don't pressure yourself, just go slow, get to know you, and how to be happy. Work on you. You are young and deserve to feel good and have meaningful relationships. :)

[rockerchick_682]

You have the power to change anything about your life that you want to. Think of all the possibilities and choices that you have ahead of you.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
-Maria Robinson

Now that you're going to get your college education, you've opened up so much more that you could do with your life. Whenever I'm feeling down, I focus on the choices I'm making and the feelings I'm having and then I try to picture where those choices and feelings will get me. If they're going to get me somewhere I don't want to be, then I come up with a solution that will get me where I want to be.

Does drinking make you happy? No... then find a habit that will make you happy. I'd recommend finding a club at school. You'll meet tons of new and different people that you might not find while out drinking. When you're in class, talk to the people next to you and form a study group. It'll help you with school and you'll make new friends.

Another great thing to do would be to go see a school therapist. Most school's offer them for free to students. It sounds like you have a lot that you need to talk out. Talking to a therapist will help you let a lot of those troubling emotions out and also teach you a lot about yourself. About what you really want in life.

What your mom said about ending up sad and alone... just because you're single doesn't mean that you're alone. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to go off and get married and have our two and a half kids and so on. But that doesn't need to be your choice in life. You can choose something else that can be just as, if not more, fulfilling.

Just remember, you decide what you want your life to be and you can get it there. Change the choices you're making now and you'll watch your life turn around.

[Oddboots]

Get professional help. Fast.

That's the first thing you should do.