[arjfay20]

I broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago. We dated for a month (this was the first time me or she ever dated). Im 24 and she's 21. During breakup, she said she likes me and wants to be friends with me. I said I needed sometime. I was fine by the weekend. The next week after the breakup she went to a vacation with her family. I called her in the mid of the week and told her that I was doing fine and we can be friends again. I met her last night for the first time after we broke up (we used to talk and text each other during her vacation). We went out for a walk and we were discussing issues which lead to the breakup. She tells me that my friend, who has been a good friend of hers when we were dating, asked her out during the vacation and she said yes. She asked me if I was fine hearing that and I said I was OK. She gave me a letter which she wrote for me stating that I was a great friend and she doesn't want to lose my friendship. After coming back from the walk, I felt terrible. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I couldn't go to the work today. We three, with some other friends, played volleyball today evening. I was not able to concentrate on my play. I am not able to digest the fact that my friend is dating my ex-gf (he doesn't know that I know about him and her dating). The thought that he is kissing her is giving me terrible pain. The worst part is we three live in the same apartment complex. So, we run into each other most of the time in a day. I feel like I will die with all the pain in my heart. One side tells me that they aren't doing anything wrong seeing each other but at the same time, I am STRUGGLING to accept it. I wanted to talk to her about me not able to accept it but I fear if I will lose her friendship. Please help me by letting me know how to get over this... PLEASE!! I can't bear this pain anymore!!

[kctiger]

You two dated for a month. That is hardly time to develop such strong emotions. I think, more than anything, it is your pride that is getting in the way, which shouldn't be enough to ruin any friendship. If you feel strongly about this, as you say you do, talk to your friend and express your feelings in a mature and calm way.

Everyone is someone's ex. Had you dated this girl for a longer period and it was much more serious, then I could see why you would be upset, but a month... that's not even dating, that is more like merely testing the waters.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when you hang out with the same group of friends, this kind of stuff happens a lot.

[talaniman]

All of you being in the same small circle of friends is tough, so maybe widening your small circle and making new friends would help with those rejection, and jealousy feelings.

That's not a guess that's a fact, so try it. That dating within the group thing is never a long term benefit to any of you.

[rawrr108]

The same Exact thing happened to me... except we dated for 3 months, I told her I needed time. The vacation in February I was going to tell my best friend of all time I wannted her back. Nope, because they were dating... and hid it from me for 2weeks.