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kariiskarl · Jun 30, 2010, 07:48 PM

I've been dating my current boyfriend for two months now.. He is the best thing to have happened to me.. but there is one problem, his mother is a very religious woman and thinks everything we do is wrong and she is interfering and tonight she told him that we were too "immature and irresponsible" to handle a relationship... we have been fighting with her on this the whole two months we have been dating, and I believe that if we were "immature and irresponsible" we would have broken up a LONG time ago rather than working at it... What do I do about his mom?

J_9 · Jun 30, 2010, 07:54 PM

How old are the both of you?

kariiskarl · Jun 30, 2010, 08:01 PM

We are both almost 16.

Jake2008 · Jul 1, 2010, 08:51 AM

She is probably putting up barricades for two main reasons.

One is, she doesn't want her son to have interests in girls, unless she approves of them.

The second one is, you may be seen as a girl who will lead him astray, and he will get mixed up in things like sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Maybe a third is she just doesn't want to let her son grow up, and is throwing anything and everything in the pot to keep him from doing so.

At 16, if you are both responsible, polite, agreeable kids, going to school, getting decent grades, not hijacking cars, or selling heroin to 6th graders, then she should ease up and let him grow up, and stay out of his relationship with you.

If your boyfriend is unable to stand up to her now, and politely tell her that he and you are in a relationship, and are doing nothing wrong, he will be setting a precident that will find him in the same boat 5 or 15 years from now.

If how you describe yourselves is truthful, I see no reason why you should have to convince her that it is a normal, healthy relationship. Just don't give her reason to interfere and treat her with respect.

kariiskarl · Jul 1, 2010, 10:48 AM

Thank you, we are both good kids, and he has stood up to her, and its just an ongoing battle. But I was seeking advice from other people.

yasmin19 · Jul 2, 2010, 06:04 AM

Ignore her.
People probably won't agree with me on this.
But its your life. Your decision. Your relationship.
If she can't see that she needs to allow her son to make his own choices and sometimes they might be mistakes but its his life to learn from then that's her problem.
Prove her wrong by showing how strong your relationship is.
But be polite to her, as I'm sure you are. That's his mum and I'm sure she could have a big influence on him.

:) you obviously are mature enough for this relationship because you've made it work so far.

victoriaweaver2 · Jan 4, 2011, 09:10 PM

You sound very young. You have to be to consider 2 months to be a long time. Sometimes things don't work out. Your boyfriend's mom might actually like you a lot, but knows her son will mistreat/is mistreating you. I dated my ex for 2 1/2 years, and his stepdad did the same thing. After we finally broke up, he told me why he was always so mean and hateful towards me - my boyfriend had been cheating on me the whole time, and he was trying to get me to leave on his account. He told me that he really liked me, and thought that I deserved better than his stepson. We still talk on a pretty regular basis. As for my ex? The day after we broke up, he got married to a woman 3 years older than him with 2 kids. Sometimes there are ulterior motives you know nothing about.