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Full Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:35 PM
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Just because your parents are letting them back into your life you don't have to. You can stay in your room where you feel safe or go to a friends where they arnt there.
Tell your parents that you will be polite to them but you want nothing to do with them. Their son got away with molesting you and you don't want them near you.
But try to remember His parents didn't do this... He did. If by not being around them you feel better fine. But remember don't be rude to them, they didn't do it their son did.
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
They know and they still go around your abuser? You need to tell the police...he could be doing some other young person the same way. Don't be scared to confront him. Go to Child services and tell them what he did.
Yeaaaa well he's like 27 so he's an adult so its like I don't know diff... but yeaa everyone is friends and I think my parents think that he's still not doing it is cause they say he's grown up..
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by aimee_tt
Just because your parents are letting them back into your life you dont have to. You can stay in your room where you feel safe or go to a friends where they arnt there.
Tell your parents that you will be polite to them but you want nothing to do with them. Their son got away with molesting you and you dont want them near you.
But try to remember His parents didnt do this... He did. If by not being around them you feel better fine. But remember dont be rude to them, they didnt do it their son did.
I can't just avoid though cause I do that and like its sooo akward because they don't talk to me like the same.. idk they act like I rect his life or soemthing and once we were going to there house and I said I didn't feel good and my mom just did not understand why I dindt want to go and was like egging me on... so like I have to go
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
i can't just avoid tho cause i do that and like its sooo akward because they dont talk to me like the same..idk they act like i rect his life or soemthing and once we were going to there house and i said i didnt feel good and my mom just did not understand why i dindt wanna go and was like egging me on...so like i have to go
Child abusers do not stop. If his parents know and they're covering for him... that's shameful and it's also enabling him to do some other kid that way. Tell someone.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
yeaaaa well hes like 27 soo hes an adult so its like idk diff...but yeaa everyone is friends and i think my parents think that hes still not doing it is cause they say hes grown up..
Yeah, he's grown up and has figured out even sneakier ways to abuse kids. (Abusers don't quit when they're "grown up.")
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Child abusers do not stop. If his parents know and they're covering for him...that's shameful and it's also enabling him to do some other kid that way. Tell someone.
I feel akward to tell someone because it was like so long ago like I was 9 so its not like he can get introuble still
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Yeah, he's grown up and has figured out even sneakier ways to abuse kids. (Abusers don't quit when they're "grown up.")
Don't go on being his victim... Tell someone and then let your parents know you refuse to go round him and his family. Tell them what this has done to your life, the cutting and how he has made you feel.
You have options.. you are not alone... remember that. He won't stop and his parents won't do anything to make him stop. I'll bet if the truth be known there are many others he has abused.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jun 23, 2010, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
i feel akward to tell someone because it was like so long ago like i was 9 so its not like he can get introuble still
Of course he can. Haven't you read about those guys coming forward after 30+ years to report priests who abused them when they were kids?
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Ultra Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
i can't just avoid tho cause i do that and like its sooo akward because they dont talk to me like the same..idk they act like i rect his life or soemthing and once we were going to there house and i said i didnt feel good and my mom just did not understand why i dindt wanna go and was like egging me on...so like i have to go
I have been reading this thread not wanting to get involved until I could wrap my thoughts around SOMETHING,that made sense to me.I finally have, maybe:confused:
Can you first try to not chat speak here,it's enough for me to get a clear picture from your descriptions yet alone when you chat speak.
You can set a boundary against being victimized by this any longer.You don't HAVE to go to a situation where your safety is under suspicion.
Your words and actions have to be clear and concise,don't take no or be 'egged on' by anyone.Just say no!
If they(whoever 'they' might happen to be) want an explanation as to why you are saying no,you MUST have a reason,a good reason.If this thing happened,no matter when,why or who with,your responsibility to yourself is to stop putting yourself in situations that will be uncomfortable for you,much less unsafe.
If this happened,you also have a responsibility to report this to the proper authorities,police,church member/preacher(even if you don't go to the particular church,they still will assist you),your parents,a trusted neighbor,etc.
Keeping this a secret is allowing it to keep you in shame,to feel guilt over something you didn't do(or did do and now feel guilt for doing it,I or anyone else on here don't know the whole story,just your side)
If you want to continue to feel the way you have been,do nothing.
If you want to change and address this,learn something about how to cope with life when it throws you a curve,then stay on here and try to keep an open mind.You will find there are many people here who are more than willing to help you,but you have to be open to changes and looking at things with a new perspective.
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Full Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:01 PM
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He can get introuble still!
If someone was murdered 10 years ago and they have only just found the killer. They don't say aww well it was 10 years ago so off you go free.
Go to the police and tell them what happened, Tell them your parents said to keep it quiet as his parents were dealing with him. Tell them your parents are now acting like nothing happened and your scared he might do something again.
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:01 PM
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Tell someone what he did to you!
I don't think they can do anything but there may be recent
victims who will come forward.
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Don't go on being his victim...Tell someone and then let your parents know you refuse to go round him and his family. Tell them what this has done to your life, the cutting and how he has made you feel.
You have options..you are not alone...remember that. He won't stop and his parents won't do anything to make him stop. I'll bet if the truth be known there are many others he has abused.
I knowwww its just really akward talking about it
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I don't think they can do anything
Statute of Limitations - Protect Act
There is a statute - 18 USC 3283, which is part of the Protect Act. For federal offenses covered by that statute, the limitations period for prosecution is extended for up to the life of the child victim.
For individual states, http://www.smith-lawfirm.com/statutestable.html
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Full Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:08 PM
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Would you rather sit in silence while he molests other kids? Would you rather sit in silence while he possibly even rapes another child?
Or would you rather tell someone to get stop him and save others from going through what you have
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
i knowwww its just really akward talking about it
Do something about ! Read KBC response above. Aimee I'm not a lawyer but I do know there is no statute of limitations on murder. But rape and abuse I'm not really sure!
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by aimee_tt
He can get introuble still!
If someone was murdered 10 years ago and they have only just found the killer. They dont say aww well it was 10 years ago so off you go free.
Go to the police and tell them what happened, Tell them your parents said to keep it quiet as his parents were dealing with him. Tell them your parents are now acting like nothing happened and your scared he might do something again.
My parents didn't really say too keep it quite they just didn't do anything... and like two years ago I was with my mom at another theripst and she said that he actually told my parents what he did and said sorry.. so they just did nothing or I don't know I'm pretty sure he didn't getintrouble because like I've seen him
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by KBC
I have been reading this thread not wanting to get involved until I could wrap my thoughts around SOMETHING,that made sense to me.I finally have,,maybe:confused:
Can you first try to not chat speak here,it's enough for me to get a clear picture from your descriptions yet alone when you chat speak.
You can set a boundary against being victimized by this any longer.You don't HAVE to go to a situation where your safety is under suspicion.
Your words and actions have to be clear and concise,don't take no or be 'egged on' by anyone.Just say no!
If they(whoever 'they' might happen to be) want an explanation as to why you are saying no,you MUST have a reason,a good reason.If this thing happened,no matter when,why or who with,your responsibility to yourself is to stop putting yourself in situations that will be uncomfortable for you,much less unsafe.
If this happened,you also have a responsibility to report this to the proper authorities,police,church member/preacher(even if you don't go to the particular church,they still will assist you),your parents,a trusted neighbor,etc.
Keeping this a secret is allowing it to keep you in shame,to feel guilt over something you didn't do(or did do and now feel guilt for doing it,I or anyone else on here don't know the whole story,just your side)
If you want to continue to feel the way you have been,do nothing.
If you want to change and address this,learn something about how to cope with life when it throws you a curve,then stay on here and try to keep an open mind.You will find there are many people here who are more than willing to help you,but you have to be open to changes and looking at things with a new perspective.
That's embarrisinig reporting it after so many years... I think
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
my parents didnt really say too keep it quite they just didnt do anything...and like two years ago i was with my mom at another theripst and she said that he actually told my parents what he did and said sorry..so they just did nothing or idk im pretty sure he didnt getintrouble because like iv seen him
That's sick. Sorry doesn't cut it.
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Uber Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:16 PM
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Go to the link wondergirl posted in her response. You'll be glad you did. Read it carefully.
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New Member
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Jun 23, 2010, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
That's sick. Sorry doesn't cut it.
Yeaaa I know.. :/ sucks... like such a little thing I guess tottaly recked me.
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