[only_me.bird25]

There is a guy at my work place.. & he likes me a lot.. to the extent that he has proposed me for marriage just after 2 months since we started talking.. I have met a lot of guys earlier.. though have never been in a relationship actually.. but at least my heart says that he is a really genuine person, honest.. & my type.. the kind of person (intellectual & understanding) I would like to be in my life.. just have avg looks, short height-ed, probably equal to me.. problem is that he is 28 & I am 25. Me being the younger one & belonging to a family where girls are motivated to study & prove their metal, I am not in any situation to get married.. even my elder sis is going for an MBA right now & she is not married.. whereas on the other end.. he belongs to a punjabi family, & age has pressure of marriage.. he also has talked to his family.. they all agree & are ready to wait for me to finish MBA & he is so understanding that he is even ready to let me do whatever I want to do.. even after marriage.. still after knowing all this & feeling that he is the right person I don't feel attracted or love towards him.. I am in a position where I don't want to loose this person but also not letting him have me.. he just want a commitment.. & I am unable to commit due to and no. of reasons... should I straight away say no. to him.. as I don't want to hurt this person.

[JoeCanada76]

First of all age should not matter. Your not really that much younger then him. At first it sounds like to me that is the only real issue, but then you talk about your family expectations of you. Will you ever be absolutely ready, who knows.

The thing is, it sounds like this has been going on for months, and you have not said no yet. So your leading him on already. You say you would like him in your life but do not really love him. You need to share this with him.

There is no easy way to let somebody down without hurting them. There are many ways that this will happen. Letting it go on for two months. He is probably under the impression that you want this too, because you have not made it clear that you do not feel the same.

Your already hurting this person, and the longer you leave it the more hurt he will be.

Tell him the truth before it gets even worse.

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jesushelper76 again.
I see this the same way JH.


You say he is an honest genuine person, so treat him the same way, and be honest and genuine with him. It may hurt, but it's the right thing to do.

Its okay not to feel for him as he does you, and its wrong to force it.

[positiveparent]

There's no easy way to say no to someone, but as said before by others in this thread, you owe it to this person to be honest with him.

He may be hurt to begin with but he will thank you for your honesty in time, plus he will survive.