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Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

You think ? NC at all ? Isnt that just playing a game? And does that ever really work for anyone ? I myself have never done it or if I had it's been when I knew it was over and done with I do not want this relationship over and done with in the least : /

Okay... if it's over and you don't contact him... it will give him time to miss you and to see if he really wants a life with you! It's better to know now than going on wondering what's going to happen and putting your life on hold.

It will be hard, sometimes alsmost impossible, but you will at least know if there is a future or not. It is the best thing to do in the long run.

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 07:40 PM

So even when he is the one doing the calling?

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

So even when he is the one doing the calling?

Yes.. tell him if there is no future for you two, you'd rather not hear from him anymore. Stick to it.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:07 PM

I don't think NC is necessary. You two have not broken up you have just put off your wedding for a time.
One thing you should not do is play him against his daughter. If she does not respond to you on face book there is not reason to tell him. You are trying to build a relationship with her, not pit her dad against her.
It sounds to me like he is just trying to slow things down a bit, I think that is smart.

You two are now two dating adults, that's what you need to do. Date and get to know each other. You relationship with his daughter will come in due time.

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 08:16 PM

I wasn't trying to use the daughter thing I was just letting him know I was trying because I love him and don't want him to think I took her feelings lightly that's all . NC is harsh at this point he is stepping back and so am I . A few missed calls won't hurt him though .He needs to miss me and if I am always on the other end of the phone when he calls and he knows where I am always then missing me will never happen So lets not call it NC lets call it LNC "little" see what happens .The weekend is coming up and we ride motorcycles and the weather will be nice I am sure he will miss me riding with him .He tells me it's not the same without me there so lets just see how not the same it is. I have to see him Friday Morning to pick up something so I said I would meet him when he got off work at his work even though I could go to his house and spend the day with him he never ask me too when I said I would meet him at work so I will stick with just meeting him and then come back home . Wish I didn't have to meet him but I do grrrr

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

I wasn't trying to use the daughter thing I was just letting him know I was trying becouse I love him and dont want him to think I took her feelings lightly that's all . NC is harsh at this point he is stepping back and so am I . a few missed calls wont hurt him though .He needs to miss me and if I am always on the other end of the phone when he calls and he knows where I am always then missing me will never happen So lets not call it NC lets call it LNC "little" see what happens .The weekend is coming up and we ride motorcycles and the weather will be nice I am sure he will miss me riding with him .He tells me it's not the same without me there so lets just see how not the same it is. I have to see him Friday Morning to pick up something so I said I would meet him when he got off work at his work even though I could go to his house and spend the day with him he never ask me too when I said I would meet him at work so I will stick with just meeting him and then come back home . Wish I didnt have to meet him but I do grrrr

Good for you!

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Yes..tell him if there is no future for you two, you'd rather not hear from him anymore. Stick to it.

He has never said there is no future, he has just postponed the wedding.
They've been together 5 months.

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He has never said there is no future, he has just postponed the wedding.
They've been together 5 months.

I know that Homegirl and I'm only telling her to take a breather and see if this is what they both want. I agree 5 months is a short time but I've known couples who married after knowing each other less then that and their still together.

I wasn't trying to take away from your advice... I just think if he has gotten cold feet this will tell the story... Still friends?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:23 PM

QUOTE by st bmrsd;
I wasn't trying to use the daughter thing I was just letting him know I was trying because I love him and don't want him to think I took her feelings lightly that's all . NC is harsh at this point he is stepping back and so am I . A few missed calls won't hurt him though .He needs to miss me and if I am always on the other end of the phone when he calls and he knows where I am always then missing me will never happen So lets not call it NC lets call it LNC "little" see what happens .The weekend is coming up and we ride motorcycles and the weather will be nice I am sure he will miss me riding with him .He tells me it's not the same without me there so lets just see how not the same it is. I have to see him Friday Morning to pick up something so I said I would meet him when he got off work at his work even though I could go to his house and spend the day with him he never ask me too when I said I would meet him at work so I will stick with just meeting him and then come back home . Wish I didn't have to meet him but I do grrr

I don't understand where you're coming from.
He is stepping back, taking things slow. What is wrong with that?
Don't start playing games with him. He may be a good one and you will turn him off.
You two are now dating getting to know each other. Don't let his postponing a marriage that should have been postponed anyway make you so mad you start doing spiteful things.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I know that Homegirl and I'm only telling her to take a breather and see if this is what they both want. I agree 5 months is a short time but I've known couples who married after knowing each other less then that and their still together.

I wasn't trying to take away from your advice...I just think if he has gotten cold feet this will tell the story.....Still friends?

There have been couples who make it , but we are talking blending a family here. You don't throw kids together after 5 months. That's not fair to the kids.
He didn't break up with her, he said they ought to take some time and they should. But they don't need to be playing games with each other. They need to date each other to see if they have something and playing NC is not going to do it.

This does not affect my friendship with you, we are just having a difference in opinion that's all.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:32 PM

You need to be careful with your "make him miss me" stuff. He may decide he does not miss you.
He didn't break up with you, get over that and date the man. Allow him to get to know you. Don't bite your nose to spite your face.

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You need to be careful with your "make him miss me" stuff. He may decide he does not miss you.
He didn't break up with you, get over that and date the man. Allow him to get to know you. Don't bite your nose to spite your face.

stbmrsd
I may have gotten a little ahead of myself. Just give him time and I .think it will work out. I believe you would really miss him too much to not talk to him. Sorry for the bad advice. I guess I was reliving my High School days.

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 08:37 PM

I don't understand where you're coming from.
He is stepping back, taking things slow. What is wrong with that?
Don't start playing games with him. He may be a good one and you will turn him off.
You two are now dating getting to know each other. Don't let his postponing a marriage that should have been postponed anyway make you so mad you start doing spiteful things.

Sorry I do not agree with the marriage should have been postponed so we we will agree to disagree on that one .We are now moving on to the engagement that is still on . I do agree not to play games I am to old for that crap and it take way to my energy away from me and my children . I am at the point of the unknown not the good fun kind of unknown I am in the dark scary unknown . Like I said before when he ask me to Marry him he meant it and when I said Yes I meant it .Now it's time to come together and get going be it next month or 5 months from now I need to feel secure in the relationship and I am not .I am not Mad I am past the mad point I am at the well waiting strange waiting on him to show me this is still what he wants . Waiting to see if he is going to allow his daughter to dictate our relationship or man up and tell her "honey I understand your feelings but I need to have a life too your 18 and going to collage in Aug I would really like it if you would give me your blessing (if that's what he needs to have) . Time is still a fact for my children if you go back the reason we moved faster then planned was to get MY kids settled in the new environment before school begins . Also if it's cold feet then how do I warm them suckers up lol

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

I don't understand where you're coming from.
He is stepping back, taking things slow. What is wrong with that?
Don't start playing games with him. He may be a good one and you will turn him off.
You two are now dating getting to know each other. Don't let his postponing a marriage that should have been postponed anyway make you so mad you start doing spiteful things.

Sorry I do not agree with the marriage should of been postponed so we we will agree to disagree on that one .We are now moving on to the engagement that is still on . I do agree not to play games I am to old for that crap and it take way to my energy away from me and my children . I am at the point of the unknown not the good fun kind of unknown I am in the dark scary unknown . Like i said before when he ask me to Marry him he meant it and when I said Yes i meant it .Now it's time to come together and get going be it next month or 5 months from now I need to feel secure in the relationship and I am not .I am not Mad I am past the mad point I am at the well waiting strange waiting on him to show me this is still what he wants . waiting to see if he is going to allow his daughter to dictate our relationship or man up and tell her "honey I understand your feelings but I need to have a life too your 18 and going to collage in Aug I would really like it if you would give me your blessing (if thats what he needs to have) . Time is still a fact for my children if you go back the reason we moved faster then planed was to get MY kids settled in the new environment before school begins . Also if it's cold feet then how do I warm them suckers up lol

Buy him some of those battery operated warm up socks:eek:

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

stbmrsd
I may have gotten a little ahead of myself. Just give him time and I .think it will work out. I beleive you would really miss him to much to not talk to him. Sorry for the bad advice. I guess I was reliving my High School days.

I guess it feel like high school drama when someone who is 18 is the one holding us up . I ask him if it was just her holding us up or if he had a change of heart and he said just her . So heck if I know anymore .any advice is good advice... sometimes you just have to pick what fits right for you :D

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You need to be careful with your "make him miss me" stuff. He may decide he does not miss you.
He didn't break up with you, get over that and date the man. Allow him to get to know you. Don't bite your nose to spite your face.

We are past dating and are engaged ,But I will be more then happy to go out on dates with my husband to be.. As for him getting to know me well that's with any relationship 5 weeks , 5 months , 50 years it's always a process I love finding out new things about him spice of life

stbmrsd · Jun 23, 2010, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Buy him some of those battery operated warm up socks:eek:

LMAO wonder if I can get them on eBay cheap lol

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:46 PM

You give it sometime.
Your kids can go to school where they are now. You don't rush into a marriage to get your kids in school, especially if you have not known each other that long.

All I'm saying is, take your time and get to know this man.
Date him. Get to know his daughter, let your kids get to know her. This is what the dating period is for.

Kitkat22 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You give it sometime.
Your kids can go to school where they are now. You don't rush into a marriage to get your kids in school, especially if you have not known each other that long.

All I'm saying is, take your time and get to know this man.
Date him. Get to know his daughter, let your kids get to know her. This is what the dating period is for.

The dates with my husband are great and spicy.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

we are past dating and are engaged ,But I will be more then happy to go out on dates with my husband to be ..As for him getting to know me well thats with any relationship 5 weeks , 5 months , 50 years it's always a process I love finding out new things about him spice of life

Well I'll give you a clue.
You don't stop dating once you're engaged and you don't stop once you're married.