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h0llister · Jun 23, 2010, 04:18 PM

So I think I was his rebound, I was doing nc since I last posted here. I slipped last night I looked at his Facebook which I did delete him but checked anyway... All of our pictures are gone and his exgirlfriend is added on it again. Also all of out old love cute posts are deleted. I sent him a kind of mean text just saying if you wanted to get back with your ex you should have just told me instead of being so chicken. He responded oh that's not true. But I know he's lying I saw his Facebook. I'm happy to have closure but Im sad because he make me happy before, the first guy who's made me feel like that since my ex of 3years . Aww this sucks where can I meet decent gentleman guys??

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 04:33 PM

You invested a month. That is like trial period, and you found out you were a rebound and he is a liar.
Lesson learned. This is what the dating thing is about. You go out for a while and you learn about each other. You learned this about him. There are other fish in the sea.

I hope this has not opened a door of communication. You fell off the wagon. If by chance he texts or calls you don't reply.
Your wounds are still raw.

talaniman · Jun 23, 2010, 06:36 PM

Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate, and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.

h0llister · Jun 23, 2010, 08:42 PM

The thing that hurts me the most is that I slept with him. I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps around. I've only done it with a boyfriend. I'm so scared to sleep with men because they might just leave me like this guy did. How long should you wait to sleep with someone?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 08:55 PM

Well in my opinion a month is not long enough to get to know someone, let alone sleep with them.
A month is a short time. Next time take your time. Don't give your all to a person after 8 dates.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 23, 2010, 09:14 PM

Sometimes that strong connection is lust or it is one sided. You need to make sure you have not ignored any red flags, give that "I'm on my best performance" time to past. See how things go when the newness starts to fade. In your case he was showing what he was about after a month. There were probably signs that you just ignored.

h0llister · Jun 23, 2010, 09:28 PM

He never showed any red flags until after the 2nd time we did it then all this started . It was a complete 360.

While we were dating he even added me to his blockbuster account. I could go rent 377837 movies under his name right now. I wouldn't do that but he must have had some trust with me

talaniman · Jun 24, 2010, 05:32 AM

I have never heard of being on someone's blockbuster account, was a show of love, or trust. But I think the lesson you take is no matter how right it seems, don't get so carried away by those feelings that you get so deeply involved, so fast.

That was the red flag you ignored, as he didn't just change, you just were beginning to see his true nature, behind his actions. You gave too much, to soon, to a stranger before you had a chance to know him very well.

You can't know someone in a month, no matter how much time you spend with them, because he was on his best behavior to impress you. It takes a while for someone's true nature to emerge.

Now forgive yourself because you learned a very valuable life experience.

h0llister · Jun 24, 2010, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I have never heard of being on someones blockbuster account, was a show of love, or trust. But I think the lesson you take is no matter how right it seems, don't get so carried away by those feelings that you get so deeply involved, so fast.

That was the red flag you ignored, as he didn't just change, you just were beginning to see his true nature, behind his actions. You gave to much, to soon, to a stranger before you had a chance to know him very well.

You can't know someone in a month, no matter how much time you spend with them, because he was on his best behavior to impress you. It takes a while for someones true nature to emerge.

Now forgive yourself because you learned a very valuable life experience.

.

This is very true, that's exactly what I needed to hear. I got caught up in lust, yet I could see a future with him. I guess you have to wait till the lust dies down before you really see cleary. I will remember this for next I meet some I like. All my previous relationships started with extreme passion and lust and things just stayed amazing until a few years later. But that must have been luck.

Thank you everyone I have officially deleted him from everything. I don't even know his number anymore. Time to heal and move on